Act Normal

Maya stared out the window, elongated and neatly dissected into eight squares by the mahogany wood. Her chin rested on her hands and her little breaths made the surrounding skin humid. ‘It is just so vast. The world. To consider, I am just a tiny blood clot.’ Her train of thoughts took flight, ‘It is I who is sitting here; somebody would be petting their dog, somebody would be doing their homework, somebody would be buying ramen bowls via drive thru, somebody would be dancing with their love, somebody would be rushing in the traffic to get to the hospital. There are just so many somebody's doing something, going in the course their life has been set on. I am one of them too.’

The laptop screen was in front of her. Its blue light glowing her highlights. She dragged the cursor to increase the bevel of the font she manipulated. The file size continuously increased. Miss Sasuke, the librarian headmistress began her usual stroll across the alleys. The tap of her heels came closer and closer as Maya sensed from the back of her head. The Hawthorne fell upon her and at the instance Miss Sasuke passed next to her, Maya forgot what her next move on Photoshop was and she sat momentarily frozen until the headmistress had crossed her. How very human? She thought. ‘It used to happen in childhood, I thought I'll learn to overcome this sensation.’ A subtle smile spread on her face.

The laptop screen went down, she stood up, grabbed her phone, grabbed her bag, and strode out. The breeze instantly caught her, for the clouds above were not so above. They moved with her, though their motion far gentler than hers. As she sauntered, her gaze followed the tangled and strangled electricity wires above, swinging and dancing. Some two three sparrows paid short visits to the wires and then flew again. Markets beside her bustled with midday customers. Fish and lobsters and shrimps were being chopped, the aroma of green onions layered the atmosphere, and drained water accumulated on road sides. From there she made her usual queer turn to the subway station beneath and with her swift momentum, managed to get in the train when the doors were about to close.

The train jostled underground at a speed everyone wished to be that of light. It didn't excite her. The train and its sound - boring. She wanted to arrive at the destination. As the train raised from under the ground to the overhead platform, the city of Tokyo - its buildings reflecting the sunshine, its many advertisement boards standing on the ground - came to view. It gradually slowed to a halt and a wave of passengers disgorged out. Maya was amongst them. Her similar tread began once again across streets, but her pace was faster than before. Turning right, further walk revealed the Donguri souvenir shop adjacent her. She swung open the door and her oxytocin levels heightened. She felt familiar and relaxed at the sight of plush Totoro toys, glossy ceramic Kiki utensils, No-face costumes, hanging bells and a plethora more. Slight music from Howl's played in the background and she steered to the plush toys section.

Everything around felt majestic, she felt impaired from the earth and stared at the toys in front. For long did she glare at them; one toy blinked its eyes. She looked around. There was no one in that area except her. She looked at it again, the typical Totoro stuff toy. Her blood pumped harsh, for the toy now smiled. Fellow articles slowly smiled their teeth out and directed their contact to her. She started to whimper. Her jaw moved up and down up and down with high frequency. She tried to put her hand on her mouth but the whimpering loudened and shiver spread throughout. It was then that her noise grabbed attention from customers nearby and as she heard someone yell at her, she turned her face towards them and her eyelids fell and the dark conjured her sight.

...

Voices in her head started to rise. Stood in front of her was No-face; it presented its hand with some gold, juggling it. An arrow suddenly perforated right through it, no blood no splash. A loud wail shrieked from within it and No-face disappeared.  The painful noise caused the little body hair on Maya to rise. Someone jumped in front of her. Ashitaka came to light. Not a blink nor a breath, a dagger was thrown speedily at Maya and burst her neck. This time there was blood there was splash. But she still managed to stand. Her neck was hollow, one could see right through it. She picked the fallen dagger and threw it at Ashitaka but it was stopped with bare hands. While still in awe, she started to hear the rhythmic noise of War planes and soon the otherwise white sky turned smoke and dense and bursts of aerial bombing pierced her ears. The noise grew louder and louder and reached a point where her heart beats pumped her ear drums mercilessly and she felt her heart explode. The nausea within her grew and grew and obscured her both internally and externally.

Her eyes teared open and all the clouds of drama in her head died down, for she found herself in the hospital bed. For sometime, while her consciousness settled, she breathed – inhale and exhale, inhale and exhale. Unable to move her arms, she saw that she was chained with the bed. She shook hard several times and in that vigour, a nurse rushed towards her. She peeped over her like a pigeon, examined her for a while, hovering at the ECG machine, and began, “Ma'am, you’ll be fine. Just a moderate schizophrenic attack. You had to be locked with the bed or else the seizure would have been hurtful.” Maya glared at her in astonishment. ‘How could I do that in public? They know it now.’ Her thought strained. Something terribly wrong had happened in her nerves. That she could feel. ‘Act normal, act normal Maya act normal or you’ll be thrown in the mental asylum.’ And she repeated this phrase again and again.