Right To Be Paranoid

Submitted into Contest #182 in response to: Write a story where someone’s paranoia is justified.... view prompt

9 comments

Fiction Mystery Crime

This story contains themes or mentions of physical violence, gore, or abuse.

His day starts as usual with him standing in front of the full body mirror he has. Admiring his milky smooth white skin, the crimson shine of his eyes and his flowing jet black silky hair. A gift that God gave to him to be loved by all the women. At least that’s his thought anyway.

Getting dressed, he heads out to his appointment. Stepping outside he has a feeling of being watched, so he stops and looks around but sees no one. Still the feeling is still there but it soon disappears. People are standing around looking at him as he stands by his door with his hands in his pants pocket in a pose that almost looks like he’s in a photoshoot.

After the feeling leaves he notices the little crowd starting to gather and decides it’s time to leave. Hopping into his car, he reverses out of the driveway and heads downtown. As he begins to pick up a bit of speed he feels it again. Shaking his head he continued on, even if someone was watching him, it’s not like they could catch his car. Right?

Still he got the feeling of being watched a few more times as he drove to the diner. As he exits his cars like usual he gets approached by a few females. HIs smile lowers their guard and without trying he gets a few numbers and promises to call them later. The ladies turn and leave and as he goes to enter the diner another lady exits. He is struck by her beauty and tries to talk to her, she glances at him and continues on without giving him any attention. He stands there shocked.

Turning around he looks for her. Spotting her just as she opens a car door, he rushes to try again. This time she stops and decides to entertain him.

“You love playing hard to get?”

“Hard to get… If that’s all you have to say, I have better things to do.”

“A woman of your caliber needs a man to match-”

Condescendingly, she smirks “And I take it, you're such a man.”

Feeling a bit upset he freezes. Because of his looks, something like was an event that hardly ever occurred. Still a woman like this is what he determined is the best fit for him and he had to have her.

“Cheeky, aren’t you.”

“I’d say you are more so.”

“Humph, how about we get a drink?”

“.... You must think yourself a stud.”

“...”

Smiling slightly, she accepts to go out for a drink. Though he tried to exchange numbers she would not and only told him to name the time and place and she’d be there. Of course he was skeptical about this but they agreed to meet her at a local bar that night. They set the date and time and parted ways. He stood by her car as she pulled out of the parking lot of the diner. Quickly he jotted down the car's license plate number.

Going back to the diner he meets up with Tom. Tom was conversing with a waitress and didn’t when he came in. The people in the diner all stopped what they were doing to take glances at him. Tom realizes he is there because the waitress reacts the same as everyone else. Tom shakes his head as he sees his friends heading toward him.

“C-c-can I get you anything sir?”

.”Give me a few minutes to settle in, well you!”

“S-s-sorry sir.”

The waitress leaves sheepishly and goes back to her station. Tom stares up at his friend.

“You just ruined all my hard work.”

“For what… For that.”

“Hey not everyone is beating the women off with a stick. Oh! Did you see the babe that just went out?”

Smugly, he replies “See her. Ha, she’s meeting me at the bar tonight.”

“Damn you!”

The waitress returns and asks what they will be ordering, Tom had yet to order since he was waiting on his friend. As he looks at him, he is shocked when his friend casually touches the waitress hand. She blushes at this.

“Cutey, how about I have you?”

“Y-y-yes.”

Angrily Tom shouts, “The hell you doing Jean!”

Startled, the waitress stumbles back. She looks at Tom and tries to talk.”

“Tom I was–”

Upset and Tom interrupts her, “Save it bitch”. Jean looks on smiling as if he had nothing to do with it.

“Miss, we’ll both have eggs, hashbrowns and coffee.”

Tom, who had risen from his seat, nods in agreement and sits back down. Still in shock, the waitress hurries off with their order. Jean watches Tom with delight, Tom’s disgusted but it was the game they played and he had lost.

Jean continues to stare at Tom with a large smug grin on his face. Leaning back he prepares to say something when he gets the feeling again of being watched and quickly turns and looks around the diner. Of course with the commotion the patrons of the diner are looking at him and Tom but it’s not them. He turns again and looks out the window beside him as the feeling goes away.

“Tch!”

Tom lifts his head and realizes Jean is upset which was rare.

Curiously Tom asks, “Is something happening outside?”

“No.”

“Then.. Why are you looking outside?”

“Tch, someone seems to be watching me.”

Confused Tom replies, “You're always getting looks.”

“Don’t be stupid. I’ve been getting the feeling someones been watching me since I left home.”

“You, sure you’re not paranoid?”

With his head still turned to the window Jean side-eyes Tom. Taking a breath he turns his head back and shrugs. Agreeing that it was just his nerves probably. They get their order and have breakfast. The waitress longer interacts with them, outside of fulfilling her job.

They part ways as Jean looks around to see if there was anyone who seemed out of place. He stops and wonders if he was just being paranoid. Opening his car door he gets in and feels the gaze of someone once again. He reacts in a more normal manner as if he hadn’t noticed and focuses on the road as he pulls out of the diners driveway.

Still feeling the gaze he peeks at his rear view mirror to see if someone was following but all seemed normal. Trying to calm himself down he realizes the feeling was intermittent, which to him meant they couldn’t be following behind or whatever they were on was in fact losing sight of him and he wasn’t going fast by any means.

He heads down to the police station. As he pulls in the parking lot the gaze stops. He parks his car and heads into the station. Greeting the receptionist he asks for Officer Romero. Just as the receptionist was about to call in the back to see if he was there Officer Romero came out the side door. Seeing Jean they shake and he takes him in the back with him.

“What brings you here man?”

Taking out the paper he wrote the lady’s license plate number on he hands it to Officer Romero.

“Hmm, who am I looking up?”

“A fox that’s playing hard to get.”

Laughing Romero commented, “A fox… that you're having trouble with… Now that’s rare.”

“Yeah, yeah. Just look them up.”

Taking a seat at his desk, Romero goes to look up the plate information. To his surprise the car was owned by a guy and not a girl.

“You sure, it was a chick you met.”

“Don’t give me that bull.”

Taking a look himself, he sees the truth for himself. A smirk emerges on his face. Romero knew that look anywhere.

“So, when you meeting her?”

“Tonight at the bar.”

“So we partying tonight.”

“No, she’s the cautious type. It will take a little doing.”

Both men have a devious grin on their faces. Jean leaves the station and heads downtown to do a little shopping. He buys some off brand condoms for later. Heading back home he calls the bar to see who was on shift that night. He gets confirmation that his friend would be there which makes his plans easier.

Arriving back home he feels the gaze once more, slowly he turns around carefully observes his surroundings. As he looks straight across to the opposite side he sees a hooded figure. Stepping forward he is about to dash across when a truck passes. After the truck’s gone the hooded figure has left as well.

He cautiously heads to the end of his driveway and checks the mail while checking the surroundings once more. Taking the mail and stealing one more glance around he heads inside to prepare for that night. 

A few hours later before he heads out he calls his friend at the bar and asks him to prepare the special. With this things are set for what was to take place later. He goes to his car and pauses a minute, he thought it strange he didn’t feel any gaze. Shaking it off he gets in and heads to the bar.

The drive was quite an unusual quiet that made Jean feel a little uneasy. He laughs to himself. There was nothing to worry about, in fact the night was just beginning. Pulling into the bar’s parking lot he parks in his usual spot. A spot just close enough to the side door so he could slip out when necessary.

As a sign the door creaks as Jean enters, the creak was purposefully added to the door for security though with a crowd in the bar it was irrelevant. Jean greets those inside already as he enters and heads to the counter. He takes a seat at the counter and waits for his friend to start their shift.

Many women in the bar take the chance to talk to him. As he waits he now has four numbers, he smiles to himself thinking of the fun to come with these women. 

Creak.

“What’s this? You’re here early Jean.”

“Tonights a big night, gotta make sure things are ready.”

“... Hahaha=ha, you’re overly cautious tonight.”

“Did you hear from Tom and Romero?”

“Give me a minute.”

Heading behind the counter he watches his friend talk to the previous bartender before starting his shift. Once more he feels a gaze so he repositions himself to view the majority of the bar without much effort Still he doesn’t see anyone and the feeling disappears again.

“Why’d you turn around? Did you find-”

“Don’t worry about it.”

Turning back around Jean motions to his friend for a drink.

“A drink this early, Jean?”

“Need to question my nerves a bit.”

“You seem a little stressed”, as his friend reaches for a glass and starts to pour Jeans regular.

“Been feeling like I’m being watched all day.”

“You sure you're not just hyping yourself up too much?”

“You think I’m paranoid?”

“,,,”

“The issue is, this started when I walked out my door this morning.”

“Well-Damn!”

Jean turns around and sees his date for that night. Smiling, he taps his friend on the shoulder and calls out to his date. She comes over and greets him.

“Hey, you waiting long?”

“Funny aren’t you.”

“I’m not one for cliches, though my plan to first you didn’t work.”

“Haha, I’ve been here for a few hours in anticipation.”

Surprised, she replies “Really”.

“You don’t believe me.”

“I figure a player like you would show up fashionably later instead.”

“Where’d you get that from?”

Slightly chuckling, she points at him.

“I need to freshen up a bit.”

Jean and his friend watch as she heads to the restroom. His friend hands him the drink he had been preparing.

“I see why-”

“She’s a catch, right?”

“Damn, I hate you dude.”

“Relax Sid, your turn will come soon.”

They both put on an eerily smile and laugh as Sid starts preparing the special. The night goes by with jokes and drinks. Jean and his date sit at the bar all the while talking and finding they have a lot in common. Winding down Jean signals Sid to get the special ready to go.

“So, you drove here?”

“Haha, no.”

Looking slightly surprised Jean remarks, “Really”.

“Yeah, that car ain’t mine.”

“You need a lift then?”

“I’d appreciate it.”

“Nice, let’s have one more drink before we go.”

“Why not.”

Sid places the drinks on the counter, before they could toast an argument starts in the corner of the room and catches the attention of all. It lasts a few minutes before the couple heads out the door arguing all the way.

Gently she touches Jean's nose to get his attention back on her as she raises her glass for the toast. Happily he toasts her and they both finish their glasses.

“Could you give me a minute I need to talk with Sid here?”

“I’ll meet you outside, don’t keep me waiting.”

“Of course I’ll be done just now,. promise.”

She heads to the door and as she exits Jean dabs Sid. Sid tells him he gave her a ten minute dose. Jean tells him to expect the video tomorrow as he heads out the door, Sid salivates slightly at the show he would be getting later..

In the parking lot she waits next to his car. This surprised Jean; he didn't remember telling her which car was his.

“You found my car.”

“You seem surprised.”

“Hmm”

“You think anybody else here is going to be driving this car?”

“... You got a point.”

He opens the door and she gets in. Asking where he should be headed to his delight she lives in the direction he does, this made it easier. As they drive along, Jean notices he’s starting to lose consciousness. He shakes it off but it starts to become more pronounced the longer he drives.

Pulling over to the side of the road he takes a breather. Checking the clock he realizes it's only been ten minutes. He turns to his date as he loses consciousness.

Softly he hears, “jean, jean, Jean”. Starting to wake up he tries to rub his face and eyes but feels resistance. He tries again with his other hand and feels the same resistance. His mind snaps awake as he realizes he can’t move his arms and legs.

“Jean, you finally woke up.”

“What is this?!”

“Jean come on now.”

Furiously Jean shouts,“Bitch, you better release me now while I’m being nice!”

A smirk filled with pleasure crosses her face. Jean struggles in vain, he begins looking around to see if there is anything he recognizes. The struggle subsides as Jean is shocked to see this was his bedroom and he had been strapped to his bed. His face grows bail.

“You finally realize where you are.”

Nervously he asks, “W-w-who are you?”

“Come on now, I told you my name was Cindy.”

Jean gets a lump in his throat, he wasn’t sure if that was even true now.

Sweetly she says, “You don’t seem to believe me Jean”.

“... Can you blame me if I’m skeptical?”

“True. It isn’t Cindy but that’s besides the point.”

“Why are you doing this?”

“Really, Jean. Wasn’t this what you were planning to do to me.”

What she said was the truth and Jean knew it.

“Okay, I admit it so now can you release me.”

Walking over to the bed she leans in close to his face and whispers, “Why would I”.

Jean struggles hard trying to at least bite her but she had already pulled her face back far enough for that to not be possible. Her expression is ecstatic at Jean’s blight.

“Jean, you know we didn’t want to do this.”

“... We?”

“Yes, we. It took us a bit to find you.”

As she talks she removes the blonde wig she was wearing, then she takes out the padding inside her bra. Next was the prosthetic on her butt. Taking a mirror she cleans the makeup off her face.

“Darla!”

“I’m glad you remember me Jean.”

“...”

“I must admit when I saw the video I was mortified.”

“Come on Darla, we can talk about this.”

“... Talk… talk about the train you ran on me or about the drugs you fed me so I wouldn’t remember anything.”

“...”

“Cat got your tongue.”

“... I’m sorry, I was wrong.”

“Really your sorry… sorry”, Darla begins to sob.

“Give me the chance-”

Before he could finish Darla shoves a pair of panties in his mouth. With a menacing smile across her face she taunts him, “You… sorry… I must be a fool if you think I’d believe that”. He tries to spit them out but she tapes his mouth shut.

“There, now you’re quiet. Jean I like you, sorry we like you. Now it’s time we collect our just deserts for what you did to us. It’s funny how we found each other, you wouldn’t believe me if I told you.”

Positioning the cameras Darla sets the timer as she douses the rooms to make sure it burns. Jean now notices the gloves on her hands. He tries to scream to no avail.

“Okay, I’m done. Just so you know, this is being streamed so we can enjoy you going out in a blaze of glory. And don’t worry about Tom, Romero or Sid, we got plans for them too.”

Darla leaves the house. Jean sweats as he watches the timer’s time decrease. At zero nothing happened and Jean breathes a sigh of relief before he hears an audio play. It’s a lot of female voices all saying “Hi Jean!”, as the lighter that was attached to the timer now ignites and the room begins to burn.

At a house across the street, Darla joins the other ladies as they watch in awe as Jean struggles as he burns. Satisfaction fills the room.

January 27, 2023 15:24

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9 comments

Graham Kinross
04:52 Feb 14, 2023

“ I must be a fool if you think I’d believe that,” shouldn’t it be you must be a fool if you think I’d believe that or id have to be a fool to believe that. No sympathy for the MC. Well done there. This must be similar to the revenge fantasies for any woman who’s been through that. Maybe thats just a man’s perspective.

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Keith Maynard Jr
11:05 Feb 14, 2023

Lol, thanks for your comment. While what you wrote may have been a better way of stating that particular sentence. What I wrote is in no way an error and can also speak to Darla's state of mine.

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Graham Kinross
11:54 Feb 14, 2023

Fair enough.

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Michał Przywara
21:38 Feb 08, 2023

He was right to be paranoid, and although that's a horrible way to die, we can't really feel too sorry for him. I think it's telling that he couldn't recognize Darla - didn't even get a sense that she was somehow familiar - even though they spent hours together. What a self-absorbed creep! Critique-wise, the story shifts between present tense and past tense in some spots, which takes us out of it. I think it might be best to also start the story "Jean's day starts" instead of "His day starts", because it takes a long time to get to his nam...

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Keith Maynard Jr
22:03 Feb 08, 2023

Thanks for the tips, I have been told I shift tense and the issue there is I never notice it honestly. To me the story flows, I guess I need to pay more attention when I write. With the name I purposefully did that, I wanted to not reveal his name until as later as possible. That's also why you get his friend's name before his.

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Wendy Kaminski
00:50 Feb 03, 2023

Interesting revenge tale! I did not see any of that last part coming. I gotta say, though, seems like he deserved it, for sure!

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Keith Maynard Jr
02:35 Feb 03, 2023

He sure did.

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Stevie Burges
08:47 Feb 02, 2023

ooooh creepy. Well set up and developed the tension of the story. Glad I read it in the afternoon and not at bedtime!

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Keith Maynard Jr
19:52 Feb 02, 2023

Thanks for the compliment. I'm glad you liked the story.

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