The Regift

Maybe this will be my year, maybe this Christmas someone will finally appreciate me. I’m a photo frame, but not just any old photo frame; I’m a silver-plated photo frame. I’ll have you know; I wasn’t cheap. I was displayed in a glass cabinet beside expensive jewellery in an upmarket store. You wouldn’t have found me in one of those bargain basements stores.

  I’ve been regifted eight times but I’m still brand new, I’m still in my original packaging. Okay, there is a bit of a scuff on one of my corners but that’s just on my outer packaging. What do you expect when year after year you’re left under the Christmas tree and kicked around until the tree comes down? Then you’re discarded and put in the attic when the Christmas decorations are put away.

  A few Christmases ago I had the humiliating experience of being regifted three times. It still pains me when I think about it. First I was given to a teacher by one of her grateful students. You wouldn’t believe the excitement when I was unwrapped, and not just from me; The whole class cheered. My excitement was short lived.

  I didn’t even make it out the school gate. I was rewrapped and regifted to a different teacher the same day! They didn’t even have the decency to change my wrapping paper. To add insult to injury, I was thrown into the trunk of a car and left there until the day after Christmas. I’d almost given up hope before finally being regifted a third time to one of the teachers’ neighbours with, wait for it! The same wrapping paper again!

  If that wasn’t bad enough, one year I was left in the attic for Christmas. They forgot about me. It’s not unusual, there are so many of us regifts consigned to the attic. It’s a tragedy when it happens. But hey, I suppose I was lucky to get back in the game, some regifts get lost in the attic for years.

  After Christmas last year I was put away in a box with a novelty coffee mug and a self-help book. The self-help book has been up there for three years and has been left there again this Christmas. There was nothing I could do to help. He’s trying to be positive but deep down, his heart is broken. What he wouldn’t give just to go on someone’s bookshelf, or on a bedside locker. I didn’t want to knock his confidence but realistically the best he can hope for now is to be sent to a second-hand bookstore.

  The novelty coffee mug said she had been bought last January in the sales. She didn’t say, but I suspect the sale was in one of those bargain basement stores. Technically this will be her first Christmas so she’s not a regift. At least not yet anyway. I’ve bumped into a fair few mugs over the years. Novelty mugs with lovely Christmas scenes, you know the type, a big smiley Santa Clause, or a bright Christmas tree.

  I worry about novelty mugs and novelty gift sets. When someone buys a novelty mug as a gift they’re all Christmassy and fuzzy about Christmas but by the time the gift has been unwrapped, Christmas is nearly over. People are sick of the sight of Christmas and more often than not they end up in the attic or under the bed. Put away to be regifted the following year.

  I’ve been taken out of my outer packaging a few times and I know I’ve been admired. Sometimes I wonder if I’m too pretty for my own good. I’m not just silver plated, I’m art nouveau style too. I remember the first time I was given as a gift. I thought I might end up on the mantlepiece with a nice family photograph, but I was delicately put back in my packaging, I should have known. That’s a real telltale sign that you’ll be regifted.

  What I wouldn’t give for someone to rip my packaging off, tear it asunder. Then I couldn’t be regifted. An old friend of mine was opened by a child, his outer packaging was torn to shreds. He ended up in the child’s bedroom with a photo of the child with Micky Mouse. Being opened by a child does have risks though. There is a likely chance of being broken or being lost. I heard about one photo frame who got wedged behind a radiator by a child. He’s been stuck there for seven years now. Doesn’t bear thinking about.

  I’m already wrapped in a gift bag and under the Christmas tree. It’s a reused gift bag but I don’t mind. It’s different for gift bags, It’s kind of the opposite for them. They want to be reused otherwise they get discarded. Most end up in the recycle bin, but some poor sods end up in landfill or worse, they get incinerated.

  Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again. If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change. Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall. Okay, those are all quotes I got from the self-help book and look where he has ended up. I’m appealing to you now. Spare a thought for your gifts this Christmas.

  If you’re lucky enough to receive a silver-plated photo frame, have a heart. Cherish it. Put a nice photograph in and admire it. Not a Christmas photograph though, they tend to end up in the attic with the Christmas decorations and regifts. A nice family shot, or maybe a cute puppy. Oh, if you have a puppy, keep it away from the gifts under the tree! Puppy’s and gifts don’t mix. Gifts get torn apart or puppy’s do what puppy’s do when they see a tree! You know what I mean.

  Happy Christmas. If you get an unwanted gift remember; It’s the thought that counts. Spare a thought for us, the regifts. Maybe this will be my year, maybe this Christmas someone will finally appreciate me. Maybe it will be you. Maybe!