0 comments

Christmas Funny Romance

5 Diamond Rings

Jeremiah

“On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me twelve drummers drumming, eleven pipers piping, ten lords a-leaping, nine ladies dancing, eight maids a-milking, seven swans a-swimming, six geese a-laying, five golden rings—”

“Turn off that awful noise already would you! And stop singing!”

I walked across my room and turned off the radio. “It’s called music, and y’know that the song was just ending don’t ya?”

“Yeah, well, I didn’t want to hear any more after it. Nona that stuff about snow and it being cold outside. I have to live that as it is.” Sophie’s caught up to her voice as she walked into my room.

“Oh no, poor you. You ain’t the only one who has to walk everywhere.”

“Yeah, well, you don’t have to get pushed around on your four degree mile walk to work every morning.”

Mile? That was an exaggeration. It was more like three blocks. And four degrees? Well, I suppose it was sometimes, and it always was here in December if y’all measure it in Celsius. But who does that? Seriously, this is New York. I’d bet y’all that ninety-seven percent of people here don’t even know what the hell Celsius means. And the three percent that do probably all are Canadians who finally got wise and moved down here. Well, except me that is. And maybe my sister although I can never be too certain what she actually knows or not about practically anything requiring intellect. Seriously, y’all ask her to square the number seven, and I swear she’ll write a 7 with a box around it. But if y’all walk into the room when she is watching TV, she’ll practically start reciting from the beginning nearly an hour ago the entire episode of Ellen about what he said she said. The things people care about. They are so shallow, y’know it’s sad really. I always contemplate for a second telling her that but then think better of it and just mutter to her to stop being so annoying, and I get back to checking the waivers for my fantasy football league again as fast as I can. Josh Allen and Stefon Diggs have really been carrying this year. Ezekiel Elliot has been alright, but he has definitely underperformed, and if I am going to win again this year, I am going to need him to play well for my championship game this week.

Anyways, we moved up here from Dallas last spring, so this was our first winter in Manhattan. Although we lived on the outer edge, we were both used to the big city there our whole lives, so the weather has been the only major adjustment recently. But I think it’s a pretty simple solution to just stay inside most of the time. There isn’t anywhere worth going now anyways. I’m off of school on break between semesters now, but all my classes were online this year anyways.

“At least you have a job to go to. I’m bored out of my mind.” Believe me. I was. 

“Trust me, Jeremiah, by the time you get a job, you’re going to wish you never had one.”

“Oh, come on! All you do is stand there and look happy.” Not an understatement if we’re being honest.

“Yeah, which is really hard when I have to keep doing it all day, and my boss keeps yelling at us and telling us we are doing it wrong.” Sophie hurriedly stomped around the apartment putting away everything she had been too tired to put away after her friends left late the night before.

“How hard could it be? Y’all have been doing these photo ops for months now, and y’all two are even dating now. I’ve seen the catalogs, what more does she expect?”

“I don’t know, that’s the problem. She says we don’t look like we are in love anymore. Well, sorry, but it is kind of difficult when everyone is staring and judging all the time. I heard that everyone has bets on how long we last as a couple and who is going to quit or get fired or transferred to a different department when we break up. Also, now we are filming a commercial.” Sophie stopped dead in her wake and gave me a look of absolute dread.

“Huh, that’s tough, but look on the bright side, Sophie. When Cody does actually propose to you, he’ll know what he’s doing unlike most guys.” As always, it was my duty to attempt to turn around the conversation into at least a somewhat pleasant ordeal. It didn’t really work at first.

She just said, “Ha, yeah, that’s some consolation for what we go through everyday.”

“It was just a thought. And y’all can’t say that the money doesn’t talk too.”

“Well, right  now it’s telling me ‘I’m not worth this. Go find a different job.’”

“Wait, you actually have conversations with y’all’s paychecks? I think you need to go see a psychiatrist or something.” I couldn’t help but reveal a smirk.

“Y’know what, Jeremiah? Just shut up already would you. You’re going to make me late for work.”

Oh no, it still wasn’t working, and I could tell I was making it worse then. I made one last attempt. “But we just clarified that y’all don’t want to go there anyways because it isn’t worth it.”

“I said ‘shut up,’ Jeremiah. There are a lot of things I don’t want to do like take care of you, but I still have to. That’s just life.”

Take care of me? She has never had to take care of me in my life. I was already 15 by the time Dad and Mom died two years ago, and we stayed with our uncle until this year anyways. Or at least I did. Sophie was away at college for most of the time. Texas A&M. Go Aggies. I hardly ever saw her. Now I see her almost everyday in our apartment that she insisted we get together even though she knew I wouldn’t contribute to rent for at least the first year. Getting a job at 17 these days is tough, let me tell y’all. Anyways, I am not always sure which I like better. She sure can annoy the hell out of me always telling me to shut up and turn off my music, but I suppose I did miss her sometimes, especially right after losing Dad and Mom. I try not to think about all that, though, and I am glad to be in New York where no one will ever expect me to drive a car again. 

Even though she was completely wrong with the part about me, she was correct about life. It really does suck most of the time. So I felt kind of bad I had irritated her more, and I decided she probably still was a little hung over from the night before. Sophie wasn’t the kind of person to be getting pass out drunk, but she developed some bad habits in college after Dad and Mom died, and her new friends weren’t the greatest influences on her either. I couldn’t think of anything good to say to mend what was left of our exchange, so I settled before it was too late to say anything. As she was walking out the door I said, “Hey, Soph, I’m sorry. I forget how hard it is for you too sometimes. I hope your day gets better.” And I really meant it too.

Sophie

It was a dreary, depressing Monday morning like any other. I had a bit of an argument with my little brother before I left for work, but I know he always means well. He even said something like that at the end. He’s annoying, and I give him a lot of crap, but he’s a really good kid. I don’t know what I would do if he hadn’t agreed to come here with me. And I know it’s been good for him to finally get away from Texas after the accident. Sometimes I really worry about him. I don’t know how he carries on while carrying all that weight with him.

Anyhow, on my frigid trek to work that morning, I counted that I got stepped on or overtly bumped into 21 times over the course of four blocks. That’s a bit of a game that I play every morning on the way to work. I would count on the way home, but I am too afraid to walk the streets in the dark without someone I know, so I take a taxi back to the apartment each night, but I don’t think Jeremiah realizes that. Anyhow, I try to make it as few as possible, but recently the streets have been even more crowded for the holidays and Mondays are always the worst. But I remember that day particularly because it was the same number as the date. I suppose it was some kind of sign from the universe that that day was going to be significant to say the least.

Jeremiah

“Oh, you’re home early. How was work today?” I still felt guilty about that morning, and I tried my best to be amiable.

Sophie took two steps into the apartment, and slowly looked up at me with the most dumbfounded expression of disbelief I have ever seen. “I…she…at the very end of the day…she…she fired me. I don’t have a job anymore.” The expression on her face changed. It softened. Her eyes were no longer glazed over but filling with tears.

It was my turn to be shocked. I had visited her at work before. She was great at her job. I didn’t know how to respond. I had so many questions, and I was beginning to boil over with rage, but I put the lid on my emotions to comfort hers. This time I knew there were no words to fix the situation. My body got up from its seat at the kitchen counter, leaving behind my mind, and it embraced her. I still vividly remember it in the third person as I experienced it that night. It was the first time we had hugged in two years.

Sophie

The next couple days are a bit of a blur in my memory, but then came Thursday. Christmas Eve. It was shaping up to be a real downer of a Christmas to say the least. Cody was still busy at work all week and couldn’t answer my calls. He hardly responded to my texts too. If it weren’t for Jeremiah, I would have been your poster child for a lonely, depressed person in the big city during the holidays having just been fired and everything. But it wasn’t all that bad, or maybe I am just remembering it in light of what happened afterwards. It was definitely worth it to say the least.

I got a call at around six in the afternoon, and yes, in New York that is still the afternoon. Anyhow, I got a call from my boss’s assistant that she needed to talk to me and wanted me to come in as soon as possible and absolutely no later than six thirty. I had no idea what to be thinking. I tried to call Cody, but he still wasn’t answering. I gave myself a little pep talk. “You were already fired. What’s the worst that could happen? She can’t tell you what to do anymore.” Okay, so maybe it wasn’t as much a pep talk as just thinking rationally and talking to myself out loud.

Anyhow, I stepped out of the taxi and walked up to the front door with my head held high, untouched, and with no one in my way. I apprehensively opened the door to the office belonging to the woman then known as my former boss. She smiled at me. I had worked there for seven months, and I can count on my two hands the number of times she had smiled at me before. And all she said was, “Welcome back, Sophie.” And then she motioned for me to follow her as she walked out of her office to the studio.

I was just about as shocked as I had been when she fired me almost exactly three days before. I nearly had it in my mind to stand up for myself and confront her for assuming that I would even still want to work there, but I was so surprised by the rarity of her smile and relieved by the simplicity of her message that those words were nowhere to be found. I had my job back. With half an hour left before the deadline, I was informed that they still needed to get the right clip for their commercial, and they needed me to do it. I was so honored and overwhelmed by all of the emotions of the day and the week that I nearly began to cry. But I did not. After all, I was an actress again. The first twenty minutes were all spent on my wardrobe and makeup because, although I dressed up for my meeting with my boss, I was in a hurry and by no means camera ready. Everything was riding on these last attempts, and my appearance had to be absolutely perfect.

So we had ten minutes to shoot a commercial that they had all been working on for almost a week. We were only going to have time to film it four, maybe five times if we worked fast. Proposal one: “Great energy, but stay refined.” Proposal two: “Cody! Don’t! Drop! The ring!” Proposal three: “That was great, let’s get one more take in just in case.” Proposal four: “Yes, that’s the one!” In under ten minutes we shot the best damn little local jewelry shop commercial this world has ever seen. But it wasn’t the only one.

As everyone was clapping and hugging, celebrating the success of the evening, I somehow lost Cody in the small crowd. The excitement died down and everyone went back to their filming positions. Confused as ever, I turned around. There was Cody down on one knee. We had just gone through it four times and probably a hundred times three days before, but it could not have been more different. The words, the ring, the feeling. Everything. Proposal five: This was the real deal, and I knew it instantly.

Jeremiah could not have been more right or wrong at the same time. Cody must have been the most experienced proposer from the past week, but when it came down to it, I could tell he was a wreck. If he hadn’t been kneeling, his knees would have been knocking so hard you would have thought someone was locked outside and trying to get in. His voice wavered on his thin, quivering lip. His face was flushed but rosy like someone stepping in from a long time out in the cold. His hands nearly dropped the ring as he had during proposal number two. Maybe he was thinking ahead to that moment and it made him lose focus earlier. And the ring. It was the other premier cut from the small jewelry store, but I recognized immediately all of the specializations that he had just for me.

In the end, they used both commercials. Cody had told them that he was going to propose to me, and they filmed that one too. There’s no way that my boss could say that we didn’t look in love for that one. I came very near to bawling, and the tears made my eyes sparkle. But I haven’t seen anything sparkle as much as that fifth diamond ring. And it still brings a sparkly tear to my eyes whenever I glance down at my hand and see it alongside the ring from last July. It was quite a Christmas in July celebration we had with me all dressed in white. And do y’all want to know what the funny thing is? This year it is my turn to surprise Cody on Christmas Eve. And I think Uncle Jeremiah will be pretty excited about this news again too.

December 26, 2020 01:02

You must sign up or log in to submit a comment.

0 comments

RBE | Illustrated Short Stories | 2024-06

Bring your short stories to life

Fuse character, story, and conflict with tools in Reedsy Studio. 100% free.