The Sweet First Step

Tick… tick… tick… tick…

Malory flinched at each sound that clock made. Once it was a calming sound, a sound of structure and familiarness. Today, it counted down the seconds to her doom. She clenched at the arm of her favorite chair, her manicured nails digging deep into the leather skin as she heard the most dreaded sound possible.

Knock, knock, knock.

A whimper escaped her lips, and her legs betrayed her. She couldn’t stand… or wouldn’t. She was comfortable here. She didn’t want to go.

Knock–knock–knock.

It was faster now. They must have been growing impatient with her. She knew she should answer that door, but that was the last thing she wanted to do. 

Her eyes wandered to a picture on the mantle of a strong man, well dressed and well-groomed, embracing an equally beautiful and strong woman in his arms. Her mother and father. They were so brave. She was the furthest thing from that.

Another series of knocks, followed by, “Hello?” It was a man’s voice. “Miss Malory? I was told you might be a little nervous. I promise you, you’ll be safe with me.” That voice seemed very sweet and oddly calming. A soft breeze flitted in from somewhere, and Malory unclenched her hands, taking a deep breath of the wonderful fresh air smelling faintly of citrus. 

Her legs found some strength, and she could stand. She took a step forward, and the wood creaked beneath her, spurring on her fears. The house would collapse, or it would catch fire if she left. 

One more soft knock. “Miss Malory. You’re safe.”

Perhaps she was. Her feet started moving again and then stopped in front of her door. Her pile of luggage sat by the door. It had taken her nearly a week to pack all she needed, but surely there was something else she forgot. Perhaps she should go through it once more.

Another breeze touched her, and that wonderful smell of sweet oranges became stronger. She wanted more of that, but to do that, she’d have to open the door to a stranger. What if he was a murderer? A rapist? She was just a frail, middle-aged woman with no idea how to fight. She couldn’t fend off a man.

But that smell. By the gods, she wanted more of that.

Her thin hand reached out, clicked open all five locks on the door, leaving only the chain. Cautiously, she cracked it open. 

The bright light outside stung her eyes, and as she blinked it away, she saw a brilliant, warm smile adorned with freckles and sparkling, sky-blue eyes. His hair was just as orange as the wonderful smell that radiated off of him, and Malory couldn’t help but wonder why he covered it at all with that silly bandana.

“Oh, there you are gorgeous. I was getting worried.”

Malory was taken aback. She wasn’t often called things like that. Her gaunt face and resting sour expression seemed to make people think quite the opposite. At least, that’s what people told her. 

Unsure what to do with the compliment sent her way, she instead scowled and said, “Have they sent a child to escort me? I asked for the best and strongest.”

The man wasn’t offended at all. He just chuckled warmly and said, “Well, I am older than I look. Twenty-five, to be exact.” Once again, Malory was shocked. The boy looked hardly more than eighteen. “And I’ve been sailing with Captain Brown for nine years now. He says I’m the most reliable man he’s ever had and by far the best man for the job. I promise you, beautiful, you are safe with me.”

Malory felt her face grow hot, and she slammed shut the door. A thought ran through her mind to leave it shut and lock it all up again, but she removed the chain and opened the door all the way.

He stood tall with a wide grin, clearly pleased about her decision. She crossed her arms and scowled some more. “My name is Malory, not gorgeous or beautiful. I will not be tricked by your sweet words just to comfort me.”

He tilted his head a little, then shrugged. “Aye, just Malory then.” He flicked back his ridiculously colourful long jacket and dipped into a flourishing bow as he said, “The name is Chase Burke and I will be your escort this morning.”

She bit her cheeks, trying to suppress a laugh at his ridiculousness. This sailor was nothing like her father. She pointed a long finger at her luggage by the door. 

“Well then, Chase, I assume you can handle all of those, then?”

He peeked his head in, and she had to suppress herself from taking a deep breath of his wonderful scent. 

“Um… Malory, darlin’, you know the trip is less than a week, right?”

“Of course I do! That is why there are only five bags.”

“Right…” After a quick sigh, some knuckle cracking and stretching, Chase loaded himself up with her luggage. He strapped two to his back and one in each hand. Malory did her part and carried one bag herself. Of course, it was filled with very fragile and personal things, so it was best she didn’t risk him breaking it. She had no idea how careful he was. 

Chase trudged out the door, and Malory followed behind, but her foot hesitated at the threshold. He stopped and looked back at her. She was expecting him to get mad or frustrated, just like everyone else did, but he didn’t. He smiled warmly at her. 

“I know, beau—er—Malory. I know it’s difficult. The world is a big and scary place and yes, bad things happen.” He set the bags in his hand gently to the ground and turned to her. “But believe me, when I say ninety percent of the time, good things happen. Wonderful things that make life worth living. Things you could never find between four walls.” He held out his hand to her. “All you gotta do… is take the first step.”

She looked at his hand, then at his eyes. That man meant every word of what he said, that she was sure of. She clenched the luggage in her hands, took one last longing look into her home, then reached out a shaking hand to his. He took it with such care and guided her forwards so lightly it was like she was floating on air. Her booted feet clicked along the cobblestone and she took a deep welcoming breath of the fresh air, finally letting that wonderful citrus smell fill her up. It was the usual block, filled with the usual sights and sounds, but today it felt different. Today, it was the beginning of something different.

She looked back at Chase, who was still smiling warmly at her, those eyes sparkling with excitement and wonder. Was that look because of her? Her face grew warm at the thought of it.

“You have a lovely smile,” he said, and she forced a frown, then snapped her hand back. He chuckled. “Sorry, guess that counts as sweet words. Would you like me to lock up for you?”

She looked back at her home, the door still hanging open. She felt the draw of its safety and comfort, and it took all of her energy to turn back to Chase, nod, and hold out her key. He took it gently, quickly locked it up, and returned the key to her hand before she could have a complete meltdown. She shoved the key back into the safety of her bag, watched Chase pick up her bags, then hold out his elbow. 

“Shall we, M’lady?”

Hesitantly, she hooked her arm around his and, slowly but surely, they made their way towards the docks. Chase must have felt her tense up at the sight of the ship lining the horizon since that was when he started making conversation.

“So, what made you decide to go on this trip?”

She sighed and lowered her gaze to watch her boots. “It’s… for my mother’s funeral.”

“Oh shite. I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t be. My mother and I weren’t exactly close. Not since my father died.”

“What happened?”

“He was a sailor. I was told pirates took his ship and left no survivors. I was sixteen when it happened.”

“Ah, guess that explains the nervousness. Don’t worry, it’s a short trip and there aren’t many pirates in these waters. And even if there are, Captain Brown’s crew are the best in the business. We’ve taken out plenty of bastards up to no good.”

Her nails dug into Chase’s arm as fear welled up in her again. He gave a quick gasp of pain but didn’t scold her for it. Instead, he asked, “What was your da’ like?”

Her grip loosened as a flood of warm memories came back to her. “He was wonderful. So kind and caring. My favorite memory was of him walking down those streets in his sailing clothes. As soon as I saw him come up the hill, I’d run into his arms. All except the day he didn’t come home, of course.”

“Sounds grand,” Chase said with a hint of sadness. “I never knew my da’, but Ma said he was an amazing man.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. Did he pass away?”

He gave a wide grin and a chuckle. “Don’t think so. My ma’ was amazing, but she wasn’t one for staying tied down, ya know? I was probably just the result of a one-night stand.”

“I see…” It was only then that Malory realized they were already on the docks and about to board a magnificent ship with three masts rising into the blue sky. Malory stopped in her tracks just as Chase was about to step on the gangplank. He voiced a small “Urk,” as she brought him to a sudden standstill as well. He chuckled softly at her again. No condescension, nor anger, just strange, tender support. 

“Dang, so close. You wanna tell me why you and your ma grew apart?”

Her lips twisted into a sneer as she said, “She didn’t care. She acted like nothing had changed. She said she had been a single mom for sixteen years already and that it was about time. As soon as I was old enough, I inherited the house and a good sum of money, and my mother left. Said she wanted to live her life. Apparently, that life didn’t include me.”

“She never visited you?”

“Oh, now and then. Some holidays, my birthdays. Usually, it was only to brag about how much she had seen. The last time she came to visit was to tell me she was getting remarried. I told her not to come back after that.”

“Why?”

Malory pulled her arm away from Chase and sent him her nastiest glare. “Why? She betrayed my father! She spat upon his memory!”

“How long after your father died did she remarry?”

“Twenty years!”

“Oh…”

“What?” she snapped, seeing his clearly uncomfortable face.

“Well, you see darlin’, I don’t agree about never moving on. We need people in our lives to make it whole. You really think your da’ would want your ma to just be lonely her whole life?”

“Yes!” She thought for a moment and sighed. “No… I don’t know. It doesn’t really matter anymore, does it? They’re both dead.”

“Doesn’t mean it doesn’t still affect you.”

Malory stood with her mouth opening and closing a few times like a fish out of water. Finally, she shook herself out of it and snapped, “I was not asking for a lecture from a child! Why am I even telling you these things? That is all very personal!”

“Ah, haha, that’s our Chase.” A man came up and wrapped an arm around Chase’s shoulders. “We call him our venting machine. People just love to tell him things.”

Chase laughed. “I figure it’s the boyish good looks and charm.”

A wave of laughter sounded from all around her, and Malory’s heart went into overdrive, finally realizing she was on the deck of the swaying ship, her bags on a heap by the mast, and a horde of sleazy, dirty, grinning men had surrounded her. She took a few stumbling steps back, hoping to dash for the gangplank, but tripped over an amazingly thick rope and fell backwards. Before her behind hit the ground, a pair of big, strong hands caught her and lifted her up, placing her back on wobbling legs. Her breath caught in her throat as she saw a towering figure of a man at least twice the width of her with a long, scraggly beard and pools of darkness for eyes. 

Chase laid a hand on her shoulder. “Awe, don’t worry about him, gor—Malory. He may look big and scary, but he’s a big teddy bear.” He punched the giant man in the chest. “Ain’t that right, Captain?”

A smile curled up on the man’s face as he boomed out a laugh. “Aye. Sorry to scare ya, Miss. The crew can get rambunctious, but I assure you, we’re all good, kind people.”

Malory relaxed a little at the sound of the man’s cheery voice, unclenching her painful fists that had dug nails into her palms. She looked at him one more time and though he was still larger than her it was not overwhelmingly so. In fact, he seemed only slightly larger than average. He was actually well-groomed, and those dark pits of eyes were actually quite warm and caring. The picture of what she imagined a sailor should look like. 

It seemed her fear-induced brain had seen things a little skewed.

She looked around the ship again and saw the rest with a new light. They were not, in fact, all men, but possibly almost half women. Some were a little hard to tell with how they dressed. Still, their once sneering faces were actually warm, and not sleazy at all. 

“So then, Miss,” said the Captain. “Shall we get you set up in your room?”

She held herself tall and pressed the wrinkles from her dress. “Yes. I assume I have been given the most comfortable room on the ship.”

“Aye, well, I suppose the second most comfortable, if’n we’re being technical.”

She scowled. “For the amount you are being paid, I must demand the most comfortable room.”

“Well, that would be the Captain’s quarters, so unless you be planning on sharing with me…” — Malory’s face burned hot as he smiled at her — “... I think the one we have for you will have to do. It is completely private and equipped with multiple locks, just as you requested.”

“R-right. Thank you. That will do nicely.”

The Captain smiled and nodded, then moved to grab her luggage. Malory thought to mention that his crew should be doing such meaningless tasks but stopped as he scooped up all four bags as if they were filled with feathers, and Malory couldn’t help but stare at those bulging arms. Her mind wandered off to the thought of sharing the Captain’s quarters for a moment, but she snapped herself out of it. It wasn’t proper to think such ludicrous thoughts. Then again… they were private thoughts. No one else could know what was on her mind. 

He turned to look at her, and she snapped her eyes away, sure that her face was beet red.

“Are ya coming?” he asked as he motioned her towards the stairs. She just nodded, then from the corner of her eye caught the orange-haired boy looking at her with a knowing grin on his face. Perhaps her thoughts were not as private as she thought.

“He’s a good man. I think you’ll like him,” Chase said, giving her a light shove towards the captain. Without a word, Malory followed the captain below deck and into a small but quaint and tidy room. He set the bags down in one corner of the room while Malory looked around. 

“Everything up to your liking, Miss?”

She checked the locks. All good. Then she made sure the bed would be bearable and sat down on it. It wasn’t as comfy as her one at home, but she had expected that. She looked up at the captain and felt her face grow red as the image of him joining her in her bed ran through her mind. 

She snapped her head towards the porthole instead and said, “I suppose this will do.”

“Good. We’ll be shipping off right away. Would you like to come up top and watch?”

“There’s going to be a lot of yelling and running around, isn’t there?”

“Aye.”

“I think I’ll stay here.”

“As you wish, Miss. I’ll send Chase down once we’re underway to give you a tour.”

Part of her wanted the captain to do that himself, but she knew that was silly. He was the Captain and was likely needed elsewhere. So, she said, “Thank you.”

With a final nod, the captain left her room, and as was her custom, she locked all the locks behind him. She stayed huddled in her bed as she heard the shouting from above, but as the ship started to move, she had to look out the window. There was her hometown, shrinking away onto the horizon. She thought she’d be more afraid, but part of her found an odd relief that she was doing it. It was terrifying, sickening and wonderful. The world suddenly felt so large, and while it was overwhelming, she couldn’t help but feel the pull to see it all. 

Maybe she would.