Cookie Monsters

"We've got all types here!" Hoggson exclaimed wildly wiping the profuse sweat from his head with his baby blue handkerchief.

"All types!"

The crowd seated in metal fold-up chairs projected 'awes'.

Hoggson delicately removed the white sheet covering the flash furniture fold up table.

"We've got chocolate chip gingerbread men, raspberry snickerdoodles, oatmeal raisin gingersnaps, peanut butter shortbreads, sugar whoopie pies, molasses kisses, butter spritz biscotti's, snowball drops, pinwheel thumbprints, crinkle macaroons, icebox tassies, and black and white Macadamia nut!" Hoggson expelled rapidly.

Hoggson fell into his chair, his portly stomach punching his lungs to cling for air.

The room of twenty ate Hoggson's words like dinner. The gender division was equal-ten men and ten women. The men wore classic slim-fitted suits while the women were adorned in maxi dresses and pencil skirts. All were waving themselves with pamphlets for makeshift fans.

The cookies remained untouchable by the harrowing heat building in the place.

Hoggson removed his white fedora to pat his bald pate with no shame. He stood after removing the blistering sweat from his head and placed that funny hat back on.

"I hope you all brought your own for the exchange!"

His remark collectively got a nice chuckle.

"You've all had a little sampling of each cookie, so begin to select the sweet you want to take home" he said.

The crowd arose from their chairs and made their way towards the table. Some chose their cookie immediately, others played mental gymnastics regarding their ultimate choice. Hoggson watched with glee every person placing their boxed cookie on the table before returning to their seat. His eyes lingered on one woman who seemed to take longer than everyone else. Hoggson approached the woman.

"So what do you think?" Hoggson asked her.

"I am not impressed" a quiet voice responded.

"Well watch them, you'll see the fruits of my work" he said.

"There better be more to this cookie nonsense than I expect" she said.

The nineteen began eating their cookies with utter delight. A moment passed as all had finished their marvelous snacks.

'That's the last time I meet with a man from Scientist Mingle' Sarah Hutchinson thought.

All who ate their cookies began clutching their stomachs and falling out of their chairs. Heaving followed existential moaning. Sarah looked at those who were on the floor by this time in dreadful horror. The people began screaming, their bodies pumping upwards and downwards. Sarah turned at looked at Hoggson sporting a proud grin. The nineteen simultaneously lost consciousness decorating the floor with their figures.

"What's going on!?" Sarah screamed.

"I made the cookies from radioactive material" Hoggson said calmly.

"You killed them!?"

"One might say, enhanced."

"Why on earth did you do that!"

"Honestly I just wanted to impress you, and show you how sophisticated I can be. If I can do this to so many people, imagine what wonder I can do for you."

Sarah flew out of the room screaming.

Hoggson kicked his chair.

"Note to self" he said.

The bodies on the floor began moving due to the interior mutation taking place. Hoggson didn't seem to mind however. The test of his resolve lay with his rejection by the woman of his dreams. All the sweat exiting his body had done so with purpose. The poor boy had set up the entire basement to resemble an authentic cookie exchange market. The hours spent baking inside his private laboratory now seemed like a fruitless labor. The sequencing of sugar, flour, and nuclear DNA all seemed in vain. What exactly could Hoggson do in this position? Waiting for the poisoned to revive and exit the lair would have been fluid with another person, especially if that person was impressed with him, but Hoggson stood surrounded by his inventions. He practically never left the lab. As a scientist he could calculate the risk of certain experiments, but it was a slipperier slope with humans. Humans could be so unpredictable in their nature, unrelentingly uncertain in their reactions. Hoggson did not drink or use drugs, but felt the oncoming of an emotional hangover. He removed his fedora and began rubbing the back of his head. How could someone who worked in the time tested field be bound to such childish mistakes?

Hoggson sat weakly on the table, crushing the exchanged cookies. He did not care. Hoggson felt such a trembling, crushing blow in his heart that nothing could alleviate his pain.

Sarah returned with familiar gusto.

Hoggson's head jumped, hearing her heels run Olympically.

"Hoggson!" Sarah shouted at him.

"Sarah! You're back!"

The ventricles of Hoggson's heart seemed amplified, his entire reason for being restored. Hoggson stood up from the table, his soul rejuvenated.

"I thought about all you went through for me, to prove to me that you are above and beyond like other men" Sarah said.

"It's all I ever wanted you to see" Hoggson said.

"I know Hoggson, I know" she said.

"I predict they won't come to for a while" he said, as the bodies of the nineteen flapped involuntarily fleetingly.

"We can escape perhaps to a tea shop or brasserie in the vicinity" he said.

"I just wanted to tell you to delete my number" Sarah said.

"I won't tell anyone about this little cookie exchange, or about anything in general. But yeah, get rid of my number. I don't want to see you again".

Her words stuck Hoggson like the thunderbolt of Zeus. She stared at him momentarily, allowing him the view of seriousness from where she stood. Hoggson witnessed this candor with frank bleakness. After her tide of sincerity had crashed on Hoggson, she slowly crept out the basement.

"I will" Hoggson said feebly.

Hoggson turned around and spotted a lone wrapped item on the table. Hesitating, he reached for it and unwrapped it. To his horror, Hoggson unwrapped a gooey Valentine's Day cookie. He placed the cookie on the table. He gazed at the confection in it's parallel loneliness. He bent down and grabbed the cookie with his teeth, slowly eating it.

Hoggson turned around to find the nineteen standing with their arms folded and cracking their knuckles.