Timeless Suite

This tall tale tracks 10 witty wits out to outwit the witless & witness saving the world, chronologically Laozi Lǐ Ěr, Ada Lovelace, Samuel Clemens, Nikola Tesla, Mae West, Dorothy Parker, Amelia Earhart, Bruce Lee, Wavy Gravy & Taylor Swift. 

Intro: Taylor Swift - Timeless 

https://youtu.be/osmzwWw4RYM?si=yIdGNVuq-a1ev47J

Few scientists today doubt the magnitude of Nikola Tesla's genius vision. Longitudinal pulses within the medium of spacetime itself synchronous telegraphy electroacoustic capacitor oscillation harmonic wave electromagnetic bioelectric biometric plasma rotory-turning transducer vibration resonance technology with free AC/DC from El Paso Power. 

Verse: AC/DC - High Voltage 

https://youtu.be/Nnjh-zp6pP4?si=7Xcdc80m3M3r3Nmv

A Glocke Bell is described as having a mercury-vortex engine. It uses 2 high speed counter-rotating cylinders filled with solutions of liquid mercury. The rotating mercury supposedly allows the bell to defy gravity. The circular base is essentially a huge Tesla coil. Multiple metallic layers stacked on each other with a slight gap in between act as a capacitor to store & redirect electricity. Because the craft uses a lot of electricity, possibly a million volts or more, it makes powerful electromagnetic fields. By manipulating the fields, a Glocke pilot can generate thrust. The center column contains 2 counter-rotating cylinders of liquid mercury. The upper platform acts as an additional capacitor working with the lower capacitor to allow the craft to move in any direction. The control system that the pilot uses is simple. In his right hand is a lever that controls how much electricity is deployed from the capacitors. At the pilot's left hand is what looks like a large trackball. This control sends power 360° in any direction. Oxygen & life support systems attach to the lower platform. A Glocke has no windows. It uses a synthetic vision system. Cameras on the exterior of the vehicle allow the pilot to see. These cameras work in conjunction with each other & send separate feeds to the pilot's left & right eye so he can see in 3D, like how a VR headset works. A Glocke is a vehicle that catches, generates, stores & redirects vast amounts of energy in a field around the craft. This field is manipulated by the pilot which allows it to fly in any direction. Zero-point energy is everywhere & is responsible for the effects of gravity, inertia & mass so a vehicle that utilizes zero-point energy, drawing it in from its environment, could theoretically reduce gravity & lower its mass & the faster a Glocke goes, the more energy it absorbs, the lower its mass gets. This is like the opposite of E=mc², but the math shows that this process doesn't violate the laws of physics. It can hold about 10 adults snugly. 

Refrain: Carpenters - Calling Occupants of Interplanetary Craft 

https://youtu.be/teBV0EoJJY8?si=wlsuQG-ph5T2pQUF

Nik knocks about his CO-Sp ley lines lab. Wardenclyffe taught him to harness vast energy & magnetic fields of Earth. Thomas Edison & J.P. Morgan left him, still in a Pikes Peak to Paris plan, John Jacob Astor bought time for a team to bend time. Nik hops in his prototype to party like it isn't 1899. 1st stop is 1910 Connecticut to seek advice from veteran time traveler Samuel Clemens, aka Mark Twain, before Halley's Comet whisks him away. 

Tesla: Lady Godiva inspired me to bare my soul to you & save the world. 

Clemens: Aha, a beast, serial liar, racist, rapist, fascist, traitor, misogynist, homophobe, Adderall-Ambien addict, mob don wannabe Loser Donald J. Trump must face justice for all of his crimes. Where would men be with no women? Scarce, mighty scarce. The secret of getting ahead is getting started. Lack of money is the root of all evil. Travel is fatal to bias. Let's get Baby Mae. She'll be key to the rest.

Tesla: If you say so, Sam, by all means make it so.

Chorus: Jan & Dean/Beach Boys - Surf City 

https://youtu.be/EkbOkVHEIf0?si=nKvanj_R_3L4rv4i

Soon arriving at young Mae West's home, she greets them at the door. 

West: Hard men are good to find. Got pistols in your pockets or just glad to see me?

Tesla: We're on a mission from Godiva & need help.

Clemens: Life is short, break the rules, forgive quickly, kiss slowly, love truly, laugh uncontrollably, and never regret anything that made you smile.

West: Caught between 2 evils I pick one I've never tried. When I'm good, I'm very, very good. When I'm bad, I'm better. Women go wrong & men go right after them. Marriage is institutional. I'm not ready for an institution. My slightly younger friend Dot & I are perfect for this job.

Dorothy Parker is easy enough to find at school.

West: Hey Dot! These men are like linoleum floors. Lay 'em right and you can walk all over them for years.

Tesla: We're on a mission from Godiva & could surely use your help.

Parker: All right Godiva, send me to hell. You think You're frightening me with Your hell, don't You? You think Your hell is worse than mine.

Clemens: It is a time when one's spirit is subdued and sad, one knows not why; when the past seems a storm-swept desolation, life a vanity and a burden, and the future but a way to death. The source of all humor is not laughter, but sorrow.

Hook: Temptations - Ball of Confusion 

https://youtu.be/-9poCAuYT-s?si=Tu0JzQM22RJoTvGJ

Parker: Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses. Their pooled emotions wouldn't fill a teaspoon. Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone. You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think.

Clemens: I have damaged my intellect trying to imagine why a man should want to invent a repeating clock, and how another man could be found to lust after it and buy it.

Tesla: If you only knew the magnificence of the 3, 6 and 9, then you would have a key to the universe. Hence 3 more women & 3 more men will do it.

West: Life’s just a merry-go-round. Come on up. You may get a brass ring.

Next, they caught up with Amelia Earhart in 1937, Bruce Lee in 1973 & Wavy Gravy in 1971, each at the height of their fame. Amelia aimed to fly around the globe. Bruce made Wing Chun kung fu films & Wavy is Wavy.

Tesla: We welcome you all to our mission from Godiva.

Solo: Cyndi Lauper - Time After Time 

https://youtu.be/VdQY7BusJNU?si=eC1nwpWvWetK91Ah

Earhart: The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity. The fears are paper tigers. You can do anything you decide to do. You can act to change and control your life; and the procedure, the process is its own reward.

Lee: The key to immortality is first living a life worth remembering.

Gravy: Keep your sense of humor, my friend; if you don't have a sense of humor it just isn't funny anymore.

Tesla: I hear you led the Woodstock Please Force, Earth Peoples Park VT, Nobody for POTUS, Camp Winnarainbow & Hog Farm, the illegitimate son of Harpo Marx and Mother Teresa or a peace saint in a clown suit, Wavy.

Gravy: Yeah, that's me, Saint Misbehavin'.

Bridge: Touch of Grey - Grateful Dead 

https://youtu.be/mzvk0fWtCs0?si=is5P6zS6HXAHlqRZ

Clemens: Who'll be our #s 8, 9 & 10?

Earhart: I'd like Ada Lovelace, high IQ mathematician who worked with Charles Babbage's analytical engine. Her technical expertise can offset our bawdy snark. 

Lee: Laozi, Tao Te Ching author & founder of Taoism would be awesome!

Gravy: Those are both great past choices. I'll add a present Taylor Swift.

Tesla: Hopefully, they'll be as agreeable as you've been.

Their Glocke leapt across the pond to Babbage's lab in 1834 London to get Ada, then to 571 BCE China for the birth of Laozi Lǐ Ěr, who allegedly spent 62 years in the womb, emerged an old man, lived another 990 years, rivaling Methuselah. Lastly to 2024 US for pop superstar TayTay. 

Yusuf Islam / Cat Stevens - The Wind 

https://youtu.be/yXuq6XpoasE?si=bepa4XudDT09c-V5

Lovelace: The more I study, the more insatiable do I feel my genius for it to be. Your best and wisest refuge from all troubles is in your science. The science of operations, as derived from mathematics more especially, is a science of itself, and has its own abstract truth and value.

Laozi: The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step. Those who understand others are clever, those who understand themselves are wise. Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.

Swift: Anything you put your mind to and add your imagination into can make your life a lot better and a lot more fun. My imagination is a twisted place. I second-guess, overthink and rethink every single thing that I do.

Coda: Billy Joel - We Didn't Start the Fire 

https://youtu.be/eFTLKWw542g?si=XtgfUMjCT81kVQhg

Clemens: What we do may upend history. Let's reclaim wwg1wga & hear everyone's best thoughts, age before beauty. Wise sage, will you start? 

Laozi: To the mind that is still, the whole universe surrenders. Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished. When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be. He who knows others is wise. He who knows himself is enlightened. From caring comes courage.

https://www.brainyquote.com/authors/lao-tzu-quotes

Lovelace: That brain of mine is something more than merely mortal, as time will show. Imagination is the Discovering Faculty, pre-eminently. It is that which penetrates into the unseen worlds around us, the worlds of Science. We may say most aptly that the Analytical Engine weaves algebraical patterns just as the Jacquard loom weaves flowers and leaves. I believe myself to possess a most singular combination of qualities exactly fitted to make me pre-eminently a discoverer of the hidden realities of nature. I shall, in due time, be a Poet. Those who have learned to walk on the threshold of the unknown worlds, by means of what are commonly termed par excellence the exact sciences, may then, with the fair white wings of imagination, hope to soar further into the unexplored amidst which we live.

https://www.brainyquote.com/authors/ada-lovelace-quotes

Clemens: Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything. It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt. Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.

https://www.brainyquote.com/authors/mark-twain-quotes

Tesla: Let the future tell the truth, and evaluate each one according to his work and accomplishments. The present is theirs; the future, for which I have really worked, is mine. It is paradoxical, yet true, to say, that the more we know, the more ignorant we become in the absolute sense, for it is only through enlightenment that we become conscious of our limitations. Precisely one of the most gratifying results of intellectual evolution is the continuous opening up of new and greater prospects. Modern science says: 'The sun is the past, the earth is the present, the moon is the future.' From an incandescent mass we have originated, and into a frozen mass we shall turn. Merciless is the law of nature, and rapidly and irresistibly we are drawn to our doom. Today's scientists have substituted mathematics for experiments, and they wander off through equation after equation, and eventually build a structure which has no relation to reality. Our virtues and our failings are inseparable, like force and matter. When they separate, man is no more.

https://www.brainyquote.com/authors/nikola-tesla-quotes

West: You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough. It is better to be looked over than overlooked. It's not the men in my life that count, it's the life in my men. Ten men waiting for me at the door? Send one of them home, I'm tired. I used to be Snow White, but I drifted.

https://www.brainyquote.com/authors/mae-west-quotes

Parker: Brevity is the soul of lingerie. I’d rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy. One more drink and I’d have been under the host. I hate writing; I love having written. If you have any young friends who aspire to become writers, the second greatest favor you can do them is to present them with copies of The Elements of Style. The first greatest, of course, is to shoot them now, while they’re happy.

https://genius.com/Dorothy-parker-famous-dorothy-parker-quotes-annotated

Earhart: Adventure is worthwhile in itself. Never interrupt someone doing what you said couldn't be done. The most effective way to do it, is to do it. Courage is the price that life exacts for granting peace.Women, like men, should try to do the impossible. And when they fail, their failure should be a challenge to others.

https://www.brainyquote.com/authors/amelia-earhart-quotes 

Lee: Always be yourself, express yourself, have faith in yourself, do not go out and look for a successful personality and duplicate it. A wise man can learn more from a foolish question than a fool can learn from a wise answer. Knowledge will give you power, but character respect. Notice that the stiffest tree is most easily cracked, while the bamboo or willow survives by bending with the wind. If you always put limit on everything you do, physical or anything else. It will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them.

https://www.brainyquote.com/authors/bruce-lee-quotes

Gravy: I always say, dare to struggle, dare to grin. If you don't change, you're dead, so I try to keep changing. I am in total ecstasy with where my life is now. Laughter is the valve on the pressure cooker of life. Either you laugh and suffer, or you got your beans or brains on the ceiling. I was at the 1976 Republican Convention in Kansas City. I was running 'Nobody for President' at the time. I printed up these press releases and handed them out to the crowd at the Kemper Arena. 'Nobody keeps campaign promises.' 'Nobody lowers your taxes.' 'Nobody should have that much power.' 'Nobody is in Washington working for you.'

https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/wavy_gravy_359148

Swift: Just because you make a good plan, doesn't mean that's what's gonna happen. If you are lucky enough to find something that you love, and you have a shot at being good at it, don't stop, don't put it down. No matter what happens in life, be good to people. Being good to people is a wonderful legacy to leave behind. I think fearless is having fears but jumping anyway. You have people come into your life shockingly and surprisingly. You have losses that you never thought you'd experience. You have rejection and you have learn how to deal with that and how to get up the next day and go on with it.

https://www.brainyquote.com/authors/taylor-swift-quotes

As everyone gets acquainted, their Glocke swiftly surfs time waves to Taylor's 1944 wartime NYC, June 6th to be exact. Posing as eager buyers, they call the offices of real estate baron Fred Trump & ask to meet him for lunch on them. Lured by expensive free treats, he readily agrees. As luck would have it, his brother John attends too, visiting from M.I.T. He stole Tesla's secret invention papers in 1943. The ladies fawn over the Trumps, while the men feign envy. It's child's play to dose both Trumps with Medroxyprogesterone acetate (MPA) & chemically castrate them. Quietly, the world is rid of Antichrist Donald J. Trump preconception.

After that D-Day success, they opt for another. Cad Alois Hitler falls into their plot in 1869 & thus can no longer beget bastards. Junius Brutus Booth is neutered in 1821, long before siring an assassin. Making the world more peaceful offers lasting satisfaction for Nik, Sam, Mae, Dot, A.E., Mo Si Ting, Wavy, Ada, Ěr & TayTay. To infinity & beyond! 

Encore: Queen - We are the Champions 

https://youtu.be/04854XqcfCY?si=EkF7jxbngOVr7XlS