The Faultless Town That Is, Portico Mill

Submitted into Contest #59 in response to: Set your story in a small town where everyone is suspicious of newcomers.... view prompt

1 comment

Drama Romance Mystery

Portico Mill, a town of gossips, churchgoers and gloom. My parents, unfortunately for me, held all three qualities. Sundays were spent in church fawning over the Bible. Saturdays were spent with my mother’s ‘friends’ discussing the town’s failed marriages and reckless kids. Every day of the week was spent with a stiff spine and stoic expressions. It had been a year since my older brother, Ben, left for university and refused to visit over the summer. Every other night my younger sister and I would wait by the telephone hung on the kitchen wall, when we knew our parents were asleep. Once the phone rang I would stay up until early morning hours talking to Ben and promising to look after Vivvy, mainly keeping her away from mum. Most days she accompanies me down by the river, matching her bathing suit to mine. Some days I take her to the movies to watch a crappy film and throw popcorn at each other. After school, she reads a book while I restock shelves in the record store. Anything to avoid home. 

On a Sunday morning, midsummer, even the sun seemed repulsed by the town as it delayed its arrival. My lilac church dress fell below my knees and a headband kept my curls from my face. White sneakers adorned my feet, which my mother snarled at, but my body flew from the house before she could object. Vivvy and I slid into a bench near the front while our parents caught up with those they had seen only days ago.

“Nettie, can we swim in the river today?” Vivvy asked, keeping her voice low.

“Course we can,” I replied. My honey speckled eyes never leaving the group of women scrutinising something towards the back of the room. When my head lazily hung over my right shoulder, I caught a pair of emerald eyes staring back at me. A man I didn’t recognise sat upon the backbench, slumped with what seemed to be exhaustion. My sweaty hands clasped the hem of my skirt when he welcomed my gaze with a smirk and nod of his head. Strands of caramel reclined across his forehead with the soft movement, causing rose hues to blossom along my cheeks. 

“Anette, don’t look at that man!” My father demanded, nudging my head forward with the palm of his hand.

“Yes Anette, stay out of his way. No one has ever seen him around here before and Amanda was telling me of the rumours…people think he’s been to jail.” My mother agreed, sending a snarl to Vivvy’s shoes tapping against the bench before us. “Vivienne, behave yourself!” 

Vivvy stiffened from mum’s tone and directed a stuttered apology her way. To steal her attention, my elbow poked her rib. My eyes turning cross-eyed to cheer her up, deeming successful with the sneaky chuckle escaping her lips. From my peripheral vision, I caught my parents glaring but I refused to give them attention. Considering newcomers where rare in such a boring town as Portico Mill, this made the stranger in the back row all the more interesting. Making me all the more curious. But, every time I tried to search for green eyes my father would clear his throat and snarl at me. 

“How would anyone know where he’s been if they haven’t seen him before?” I deadpan. It was rare I ever gave cheek to my parents but their unapologetic need to claw at oblivious passers-by deafened me with irritation. 

“Don’t speak to your mother like that.” Dad interrupted before mum could get a word in. I supposed he was prepared for the catty comments about to spew from the pair of us. He wasn’t the only one bored of it. 

Throughout mass, I almost thought my curls would set alight with the sensation of eyes burning through the back of my skull. It went as far as palming my frizzed hair once mass had finished, in fear of a bald head. With my parents occupied with others, I had the chance to seek out the handsome man but he was no longer in the church. I couldn’t blame him; I would give anything to escape a room of hostile housewives. Only when we had left did I see him perched against a red brick wall, exhaling cigarette smoke. Our eyes had met like it was scripted. Both eyes turning a little brighter, maybe even tender, when a soft smile was shared. He was everything the town that raised me was not. Half dressed ink kissed the skin of his arms and my fingers tingled at the vision. White linen with cartoon designs hung from his thick shoulders, the first three buttons undone. Jet black trousers tightened with a simple belt. White trainers mirrored my own except his looked more scuffed. He exuded sex and reckless living. Just his appearance had me woo’ed. A part of me wanted to reprimand those like my mother, who spread nasty rumours and isolating the man with warm eyes. God, forgive me for my sinful thou-

“Hello.” My thoughts were interrupted by blinding emerald studying honey brown. The stranger stood before me, a clear of his throat seeping into his fist. I watched him for a second longer, processing the rasp that trickled from the back of his throat. “I’m new ‘round ‘ere…but you’ve probably already heard, yeah?”

“Er- yeah. Why would you come here?” The words had left my mouth before fully comprehending what he had said. But I couldn’t help but wonder how he came to rock up in this snake pit. 

“Jus’ travellin’ through. My gran actually lived ‘ere once…thought I’d have a look at the place.” His reply was accompanied with amusement, at what I wasn’t sure and I had no time to care. 

“What was her name? Everyone knows everyone here, I might recognise her name.” I would have preferred to hear his name but his gran’s would do, for now. 

“Matilda Lakely.” 

“Doesn’t ring a bell…my parents may know,” I mention with a weary smile. I wouldn’t have ever asked my parents, that’s suicide.

“Well, some years have passed since she lived ‘ere.” He said. With each smack of my mother's heel on the pavement behind me, his face would flinch. It was as if her heel stabbed his cheeks instead of concrete. Amusement gushed through my body before the dread could settle. With just a glance behind me, I saw my parents approaching, not yet spotting me as they carried on their conversations. If my parents witnessed me showing common curtesy to an alleged ‘convict’ I would surely be reprimanded. 

“So, I’ll have to leave before my parents se-.” I cut myself off in fear of offending the handsome stranger.

“Before they see you with me.” He finished for me with a dry smile. “Don’t worry, I get it…I’m a stranger after all and your parents don’t seem very er- keen on me.” 

A deep ache fluttered from beneath the flesh of my chest. Kind eyes being aware of my parent's disgust for him sent me near seething. Deeming him too much of a beauty to detest or insult. I heard strained footsteps gaining speed and I had to force my middle finger into my fist, in fear of throwing it towards the two who planted me on Earth. My teeth gnawed into my bottom lip to conceal the beg of some company from the young man. Instead of sharing any more words the pair of us shared a balmy smile before shuffling our separate ways. That was the first time I had conversed with anyone outside of Portico Mill. Just the idea of trees, grass and sky outside of the town made my feet itchier, made me avoid contentment. It wasn’t long before the handsome stranger and I managed to flee from the town, only returning years later to steal Vivvy from the family home.  

September 17, 2020 17:05

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1 comment

Zilla Babbitt
01:13 Sep 24, 2020

Here for the critique circle :) Very sweet! You portray overprotective parents well, and your descriptions of her amusement etc are good. The beginning sentences are fun and interesting. Things to work on: First, establish how boring and constricting Portico Mill is through dialogue and narration rather than description. Make sure the reader knows this. Second, awkward sentences. Here's an example. "I replied. My honey speckled eyes never leaving the group of women scrutinising something towards the back of the room." This should be more...

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