its not routine, its Love.

It’s not routine it’s LOVE.

I was happy to be starting the new year, new resolutions and honestly speaking I was hoping for a better start at life but my one wish was to mend my relationship with my long time abusive boyfriend who made it obvious that I was not enough for him or I’ll never be enough for him but hey! I kept going back over and over again. As happy as I was to be starting the year I was also determined to make new friends have people to talk to, go out for coffee once in a while given the weather in London.

31^st January.

It was the end of the first month and I have not made even one resolution come to life expect some lady I met at the grocery shop the other day when Michael my abusive boyfriend gave me money as a peacemaker after beating me to a pulp last weekend. There she was running around the store looking for who knows what until we bumped into each other at the parking and she was obsessively praising the coat I was wearing which my boyfriend hates and we spent time talking half an hour passed by without noticing until we both agreed to meet for a coffee sometime in a week.

05^th February.

Here I was at the coffee shop waiting for my best friend, wow! It actually felt good saying that her name was Elizabeth and we have been talking for the past few days and we really connect. I even told her how abusive my boyfriend is and I was shocked to learn that she is happily married with two teenagers and I wondered what is it that I was doing wrong? I was always there for Michael, loving him was not hard I had loved him since I can remember and it is my ultimate goal to be his wife officially, raise his kids and be the housewives like those ones from the reality shows. I have never worked a day in my life I don’t even remember what dreams I had growing up on the other hand Michael is an accountant and he makes good money, he takes care of me even though things have changed during the years.

Elizabeth: sorry I’m late.

Me: no it’s fine, I was about to order though. Two cappuccinos?

Elizabeth: yes please. I had to make sure my mom and dad are fine it’s such a journey going to their house everyday but it’s the pecks of being a housewife.

Me: why not hire someone to look after them?

Elizabeth: I had suggested that with my siblings but it was not successful and we will need someone who we can trust to be around them 24/7.

Me: I hear you. How I wish my parents were still alive. They died when I was young. Car crash hence I’m the only child.

Elizabeth: I’m sorry to hear that I guess I’m blessed to still have mine here both alive and happily married.

Me: I have always wanted to be around such beauty trust me. I was raised by my granny when I lost my parents and unfortunately she was not married.

Elizabeth: hey! I have an idea why don’t you go and live with my parents for a month as we are deciding on what to do with them?

Me: I don’t know hey…

Elizabeth: it would be fun and you will be free from being Michael’s punching bag. Please say yes, please?

Me: okay just a month and I will tell Michael that my aunt is sick.

Elizabeth: (laughs) I thought you had no family but thank you.

Me: he never pays attention so he won’t ask any questions. He will even have enough time to go and check on his sides.

11^th February.

Here I am at the Matthews residence I must admit I have never been around such beauty, the hospitality and the conversations you will swear I’m the one they taking care of. They welcomed me with so much love and respect into their beautiful home I now understand why Elizabeth is always at home I don’t even want to leave I don’t think I would leave even after a month. All I have to do is to make sure they have eaten, the house is clean and they have clean clothes who would want to leave all that? And Elizabeth and her siblings have agreed on giving me some money for my stay here and above everything I’m away from Michael and his abusive nature.

Mrs. Matthews: come and sit with me outside you have been going up and down since morning.

Me: I’m making sure the house is clean.

Mrs. Matthews: (laughs) as if you doing any justice to my house. I don’t know who told Elizabeth we needed help we are growing old not handicapped.

Me: meaning the house is not clean enough?

Mrs. Matthews: the house is clean (laughs) just make tea and come outside.

Mrs. Matthews spent her days reading books while her husband cleaned their yard, it was a very huge one trust me.

Mrs. Matthews: so where is your husband, or kids?

Me: I don’t have kid due to miscarriage’s I have suffered during the years. My boyfriend beats me up, he used to beat me up during those years which led us to not having kids today.

Mrs. Matthews: boyfriend you say, why not husband?

Me: because we not married.

Mrs. Matthews: I would never understand this new age love. Let me tell you a story about TRUE OLD SCHOOL LOVE.

Me: I would love that.

Mrs. Matthews: but where’s your paper and pen you must take notes. Stop getting played (laughs)

When me and Matthews met ohh my! I still get goose bumps till this day. I normally tell this story over Christmas with my family but since you here and you’re Elizabeth’s friend I consider you family. I met with my husband 50 years ago when we were still teenagers actually I have known him for 54 years, old age (laughs) he used to be this guy who was working at home doing our garden services as you now calls it. He used to give me weird looks that’s how I usually explain how uninterested I was with this guy until my dad had fired him I don’t really remember why. I come from a very rich family or I came from a very rich family and I was the last born, my father was a ladies men he had three wives my mom was the youngest so I never really got to have a relationship with my other siblings, you know family politics and I knew that this was not the life I had wanted for my children. So when I was about 17 years I met this guy again and he is 5 years older than me. When we met it was raining I remember and I had missed the school bus for some reasons and here he was giving me the weird look again and from that moment I remembered him. He asked if he could walk me home and in my mind I was like is he crazy or what but I agreed and it’s a distance but we walked and we talked about lot of things he even told me he was now working as tea boy at some big company and I laughed so hard when he said “tea boy” and he didn’t take that as an insult instead we laughed so hard. It was when he asked what do you want me to buy for you that really made me love him because I saw humility in him, I mean the poor tea boy just got paid and I’m from the richest family I can buy myself everything. Ice cream I said. It was raining but we went on our very first awkward ice cream date.

Me: this is inspiring, what happened after?

Mrs. Matthews: no we will continue some other time now it’s time for me and my Matthews to have tea. He is still my tea boy (laughs) he makes the best tea in the whole world. So I need to have a catch up session with him. Can you fix him something to eat?

Me: yes I will.

At that moment I know deep down in my heart that I deserved to be loved till infinity but somehow I thought why does it seem like this whole thing is a routine?

The next morning.

I got up early, I cleaned and I waited for the story session. I was looking forward to that I even made tea and some cookies for today’s story I know see how Elizabeth and her siblings are happily married.

Mrs. Matthews: I see my student is bright and ready today. I hope you take notes and believe that you deserve love that will give you Goosebumps into your elderly age.

So me and Matthews started off very good but he comes from a very abusive background his father abused them so much and he had to protect his mother from him at an early age, he also had to take care of his siblings and still go out there and make ends meet. So he really struggled with his emotions or expressing how he felt and as soon as I got to know about his family background I will get scared that he will hit me or hurt me in some way and one day we had a really nasty fight and I was so scared I remember how scared I was I even started crying and he came towards me all I could think of was hiding my face at least if he tries to hit me up he will not cause me any bruises on my face that will later get me into trouble with my parents because abuse was something foreign to me even though my father was a ladies men he was a sweetheart and in that moment he hugged me I remember how hard I had cried and we both shared some tears that day (laughs) but till this day he never admits that part and for the first time he assured me that he would never hit me no matter what because how do you say you love someone then hurt them. Till this day I’m still grateful to have Matthews as my life time partner.

Me: I believe it’s time for your catch up now with Mr. Matthews.

Mrs. Matthews: sit down Mr. Matthews went to see his friend down the road we still have time.do you think this is a routine don’t you? Don’t even answer me.

Fast track I went to University to study medicine and Matthews was still a tea boy and unfortunately I got pregnant when I was doing my second year. I was so embarrassed I remember telling Matthews this and he was so happy. He promised he will go look for a place for us to stay and a better job so he can provide for me and the child on the other hand I had to drop out from the university and that was not my proudest moment and my parents were hurt and I somehow believe it is what drove my mom into an early grave (tear drop). Our baby was born few months later and we named her Bitsy which is God’s Perfection. With her born we decided to start a family officially he found another job as a chauffeur he even went back to school and studied law but I never went back to the university and not once in my life did I feel like I had lost myself or goals. I have my family, all my kids are happily married this I do make sure they maintain always no compromises because look at me and their father from the rags to the riches. When he started practicing in some law firm he bought us this house and we slowly renovated it hence it still looks this beautiful even today. Not even once have I ever felt short of his love because every day we made sure that we doing this, we choosing us and not some routine that we get used to. It has always been love till this day.

That Valentine’s day I knew what love is, how love is and I knew I had to choose who love is in my life and I vowed to do better, to love better beyond routine and finally I gathered enough courage to leave Michael and follow my dreams knowing my soul mate will come and find me. I still go for sessions from time to time with Mrs. Matthews now that Bitsy took them and they sold their beautiful house. Mr. and Mrs. Matthews are my definition of love, courage, respect and more love (laughs)

THE END.