47 comments

Happy Fiction Inspirational

I’m Odd, always have been. It’s my name and my nature. My tribe is at the bleeding edge of the stone age. Our prey and our enemies are more on the bleeding edge in a literal sense. Sharp stones driven into wood, that’s our thing.

            More It’s than mine. It is the leader of our tribe. Not because he’s the smartest. Because he’s the biggest. His club is heavier and has more sharpened pieces of flint driven into it.

            I hate him. He mates with Mos, who I’ve always liked. She played with me when we were young but then It grew tall and strong and I… didn’t.

            It hits me a lot. He hits everyone a lot. Even Mos. Iris tells me to leave Mos alone. Iris says I should stay away from It. I think that’s what she’s saying. We don’t have much language yet. You’re just a thought in my head but it’s nice to have some intelligent conversation so thank you for being here.

I feel rage seeing It and Mos at it like rabbits again. That’s not fair, rabbits are cute and quiet. When It and Mos have sex it’s loud and I want to beat myself to death with my own club.

            I storm off out of the cave instead of watching like the others. It is a dark night, and I shouldn’t leave the safety of the group, but the moon is out.

            Wolves are howling over the pines that cover the whole world. I swing my club about in the dark like It when he doesn’t understand something. That’s most of the time.

            I sit down on a log and rub the handle of my club against it again and again. It’s soothing to let out my aggression. More than that, it is safe. I’ve tried to fight the mighty It. He has fists like boulders. Being punched by him is running full force into a mountain.

            Eventually I felt the warmth.

            Then I smell the smell of a tree struck by lightning.

            The bark catches fire and I scream and fall back off the log.

            I never claimed to be brave. I don’t have to pretend to you. You are me. We are one. That basically means you’re a coward as well. I’m not judging you, am I?

            I feel the handle of the club and burn my finger. My cry is less mighty than a wolf in every conceivable way.

            I find another stick by the blue light of the moon. I don’t like my club burning me. The club has already saved me from a wild boar. The club and It. He’s useful sometimes.

            I have a new thing. It’s hot, very hot and it glows. It is beautiful. The heat and majesty of the sun held on a stick in my hands. I call it fire. I imagine the long-lost genius who smashed flint into sharp slivers and drove it into a stick did the same. Presumably the difference between a genius and an idiot is how often accidents turn into inventions.

            When It has an accident, the cave stinks. Stupid giant.

I make fire again. I marvel at its beauty. I stare closely at the flame. I feel the heat like a midday summer sun on my face in the dead of night. I see the world in its orange glow.

            I burn myself again.

            Discovery is trial and error.

            Error is pain.

I practice with my new power until the sun rises. It is the father of my invention. The flame which had been so mighty in the darkness is a pale reflection of the mighty sun.

            I am still mesmerised.

            They find me.

            My tribe are in awe of the miracle I hold.

            It wants my fire. It is used to getting what he wants. He tries to take it from me, so I advance on him with it. I hold the fire in his face and tell them all fire is mine. Not theirs. I’m not going to hand it over.

            It trips me.

            He punches me.

            Day turns to night, for me.

I wake with my whole tribe staring at me. In a circle. It’s scary, creepy. Usually, they ignore me. Not now.

            They nudge at the black remains of the stick I set on fire. They coax me, bribe me. I don’t mind that. I’m not the runt anymore. I have what they want, and they kiss my feet for it.

            I’m not falling for it. When I tell them how to make fire, I’m right back to the bottom of the pecking order.

            They hand me sticks, all of them. Sticks start to pile up around me. It isn’t getting sticks. He’s glaring at me. I’m beating him at something. He can’t understand that concept. He never losses. Deep inside the matted beard and the hair, his eyes are searching for an answer. He tried fists but that didn’t work. He knows if he kills me, he’ll never know.

            I can’t hold back. They plead and I can’t hide it forever. I take a stick and start rubbing it between my hands. They all crowd closer, eager to see the magic. They smile.

            Then I realise my power, I’m the teacher.

            I give them all a stick and show them, get them to copy me. I encourage. I praise. Even It has a smile on his face. Smoke starts to wisp through the air, and I can smell the burning. I cheer them on as I make my own flame.

            It’s not like the first time. I get a glowing end on the stick instead of a flame. It’s so beautiful I don’t mind. One of them touches it and screams. They don’t understand. Neither do I. Fire has only been in our power for mere hours. There is so much to learn.

            I give up on stealing Mos away from It. Iris is my mate. She is smart. Her eyes reflecting the orange glow of my magic are twin suns. Her laugh is sunrise. Her smile is hope. Iris can keep a fire going. The others put it out in no time. We master the fire together.

            A flame is beauty, heat, light, and pain. Fire is mine, and I have given it to all of my people.

June 13, 2022 13:26

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47 comments

Korinne H.
22:52 Jun 23, 2022

This is so interesting, well done! :)

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Graham Kinross
09:47 Feb 28, 2023

Thank you, Korinne. I’m really sorry I didn’t get back to you sooner. I have no excuse for that.

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10:18 Jun 23, 2022

Wow! Loved this take on the prompt. This was really thought-provoking! Wasn't expecting Odd falling for Iris in the end, it was deep.

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Graham Kinross
09:47 Feb 28, 2023

Thank you, my sincere apologies for not replying sooner, Jincy.

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DM Schwartz
22:26 Jun 22, 2022

Like most other commenters, I like your unique take on this prompt. I also like the consistent tone of the story. The device of Odd spark having a conscious conversation with himself did jolt me out of the story a bit. It seemed a bit too intellectual for the caveman character. Also, rubbing a club against a log wouldn't create a fire. The technique is a bit more nuanced. Overall, a great story.

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Graham Kinross
23:34 Jun 22, 2022

Thank you. I wasn’t sure exactly how someone would discover how fire is made the way we know to make it now as it’s quite a specific action, like making a bow and spinning a bit of wood very fast. I was considering somehow having him stumble over flint and tinder but I’m sure that must have come later. It felt too advanced. It felt like whoever created fire the first time must have been bored and acting with wood the way people do with fidget spinners, a fast repetitive action. We’ll never know.

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Ava Raim
03:10 Jun 21, 2022

Ooh, this was such a good take on this prompt! I love how neanderthal-ish your protagonist was, even when it came to his thoughts and actions.

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Graham Kinross
03:42 Jun 21, 2022

Thank you.

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Michał Przywara
20:47 Jun 20, 2022

For this prompt, I was hoping someone would do a historical tech instead of future-tech, and man, you took it all the way back to the start :) The story's fun, and I like the ending. Very much fitting the "inspirational" tag. In a way, it's not just fire that gets invented, but rather the spirit of cooperative learning. In our modern world we have so much at our fingertips, it's easy to forget just how mind-blowing some of these discoveries were, and how painful figuring them out was.

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Graham Kinross
21:29 Jun 20, 2022

I thought more people would have written about the discovery of fire since it’s the most fundamental technology in human history. I wasn’t sure about doing it for that reason because I thought it would be one of many.

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J.C. Lovero
03:52 Jun 19, 2022

Graham, I love where you took the prompt with this story. I think most of us (myself included) leaned into sci-fi, and you went all historical and it just worked so well. I really enjoyed the narrator's voice in this. It was simple and exactly what I would expect for the time period you used. Good luck on the contest this week!

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Graham Kinross
04:52 Jun 19, 2022

Thanks J. C. What are you working on?

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J.C. Lovero
12:08 Jun 19, 2022

Hi Graham! Aside from submitting short stories to Reedsy, I've got a first draft of a novel that I'm in the process of getting ready for beta reads and editing. Plan is to publish is early 2023. Exciting stuff! How about you?

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Graham Kinross
22:30 Jun 19, 2022

I’m working on a novel with a writing coach. Everything is slowing down as I prepare for imminent parenthood though.

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J.C. Lovero
22:51 Jun 19, 2022

Congrats on both accounts! Do share when your novel is ready for public consumption!

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K. Antonio
14:26 Jun 18, 2022

Graham, I just got to say that I enjoyed this piece A LOT. It was so clever! In a prompt that talks about technology, where the masses might tend to veer towards sci-fi, you went the opposite direction and gave us something so simple, so ODD, and also so well-conceived. The diction was simple, but you extracted so much from a limited use of words. I really enjoyed how the story starts with an introduction, but the first sentence on its own was strong, and peculiar that I wanted to know more. The character names were also a pleasure. Hav...

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Graham Kinross
10:47 Feb 28, 2023

Thanks, K. I really wish I’d seen this comment when you wrote it so I could say that it means a lot to me that you wrote such a kind comment. Thank you very much.

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Jen Thompson
12:18 Jun 15, 2022

Such a fun idea for this prompt! Great job!

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Graham Kinross
06:31 Jun 16, 2022

Thank you. Are you working on something for the new prompts?

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Jen Thompson
15:48 Aug 05, 2022

I have been failing at getting on this site and participating with the prompts like I’d hoped…life.

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Graham Kinross
19:02 Aug 05, 2022

It’s a struggle to start with. Be relentless. Keep going. You can do it. We all want to be writers here. All of us can be. Writing is like everything else, the more you do it, the better you get. I’m busier now as well since I just had a daughter so I don’t think I can do five prompts a week anymore but I write down the prompts when they come in and during the week I think about what I can do for each of them. I write a lot of sequels because it’s faster when you know the characters. You know what they look like, how they think and feel. The...

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Jen Thompson
18:16 Aug 07, 2022

Congrats on your daughter! That's also a great idea, I will keep that in mind an hopefully do a prompt again soon!

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Seán McNicholl
14:38 Jun 13, 2022

Graham, a great take on the prompt, going right back to the mother of all inventions! Well done! Very well written, using simple language. Loved the naming of the characters too!

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Graham Kinross
21:31 Jun 13, 2022

Thanks, what are you working on at the moment?

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L M
09:17 Feb 28, 2023

The idea of fire is really good. I like the start. That hooked me.

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Graham Kinross
10:49 Feb 28, 2023

Thanks as always, LM. Thank you for reading so many of my stories and for being so supportive. I really appreciate it.

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L M
09:34 Mar 01, 2023

Youre welcome. Why did you pick a story like this. I was expecting science fiction from you. Scapeships or sonething.

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Graham Kinross
10:09 Mar 01, 2023

I like to try different things here. Reedsy is good for experimenting. When are you going to write something so I can give you loads of feedback?

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L M
09:11 Mar 03, 2023

Not sure. Probably never.

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Graham Kinross
09:25 Mar 03, 2023

Shame.

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Ace Quinnton
22:55 Jun 13, 2022

The odd people of the world make the most beautiful of creations. Better than everyone could've expected from the underdog. It's great, seeing the outcasts do society a favor by having all of these bright ideas. Once we step into the light, we have so many colors to express, so many that they'll flood the whole room. Don't let them run dry, so keep practicing at it. It'll flow nicely downstream, onto the paper, turning it into a masterpiece. Amazing job Graham. Also, CAVEPEOPLE? :)

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Graham Kinross
23:57 Jun 13, 2022

Thanks Ace. Cavepeople as the title?

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Ace Quinnton
00:31 Jun 14, 2022

Sure mate! But also... Modern society: I wonder why ADHD was built this way? Did the cavepeople have it way, back when? Me: Yes, you ignorant neurotypical. I was born in the wrong era. I would've been the best cave person out there with my magnificent abilities THAT YOU DO NOT HAVE! Fear me, mortal. For example, the pros of ADHD as a caveperson: Can track prey for hours without losing focus. Special interest; basket weaving. Always fidgeting - banging rocks together and discovers flint-knabbing. Distracted by berries. Stimming by making n...

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Graham Kinross
12:15 Jun 16, 2022

Can remember dialogue from my favourite episodes of tv shows but not what people at work told me to do. I think loads of inventors have hyper focus as well, passing time making something a little better, using inspiration from all over the place that they found when they were distracted. Have you seen Atypical on Netflix?

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Ace Quinnton
16:02 Jun 16, 2022

No, I haven't heard of it, but I'll definitely go check it out. As I always say to my fellow writers and artists: "Inspiration can come from anywhere and everywhere if you examine it enough." There is always room for improvement. Some things I can remember SO WELL, I can make a story out of it. Other times, I'm so absentminded that I just go through the day in a blur, not remembering much at all.

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Graham Kinross
21:36 Jun 16, 2022

I think that’s just being human.

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Cassie Finch
02:54 Aug 23, 2023

Good intro. Cool idea.

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Graham Kinross
03:06 Aug 23, 2023

Thanks Cassie.

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Cassie Finch
09:47 Aug 24, 2023

You're welcome Graham.

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Aoi Yamato
01:51 Feb 02, 2024

clever

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Graham Kinross
07:33 Feb 02, 2024

Thank you.

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Aoi Yamato
01:11 Feb 05, 2024

your welcome.

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