First Halloween Down There

First Halloween Down There

I knew as soon as I stepped off the pavement that it would hit me. I just wasn’t concentrating on the busy traffic – my head was full of Halloween thoughts. I was day dreaming and picturing me as ‘The Daughter of Dracula’ in the dress that I had just finished sewing the day before, and thinking about how I was going to make the punch disgusting to look at but delicious to drink was a mistake. I just wasn’t concentrating on the road. Afternoon was running into evening and as the sun sank down behind buildings and trees it made it more difficult to see. Then bang!

We loved it, well especially me as ‘I’d never quite grown’ as my friends often told me! But my whole family got involved…Mum filling up bags with sweets for the first of the evening’s tentative knock on the door, and then the banging with fists when the laughing and chattering group of children thought no one had heard them , or worse still that they were being ignored.

But I was in a different place now and it would never be the same.

“I don’t want to go down there on Halloween night” I pleaded.

“You can’t choose if you want to go or not. You’re going. In your first year you must experience all the events. It is just the way it is”. Lily knew she couldn’t win; she had to do as she was told, so took a deep breath and conceded that she would be at the party.

“That is one bossy spirit” Lily complained to her friend Maisie when she got back to her coven.

They both lay down on their soft beds – as usual eating chocolate.

“There are some good things about being a ghost - we can eat all day long and never put an ounce on. Gone are the days of ‘past your lips and on your hips’ or the teasing from my brother about how I’d never get a boyfriend if I didn’t lose weight”…Lily stared into the air wistfully. “I miss my brother though. And as females and males are separated when they get here, I’ll never have a boyfriend”.

“Come on, let’s go and see some of the fun spirits. You could do with cheering up. They lightly floated off the beds and off to coven 14.

It wasn’t easy being a ghost – and it hadn’t been long since Lily had left earth to come up here. It was different for Maisie. She’d been up here since she was eight years old. Her memories of her mortal existence were fading, not like Lily’s that were fresh and new.

“I just don’t want to go down there” Lily moaned again, this time to a different spirit, a much older and wiser one, but still getting the same reply. “We all did it. It wasn’t easy and it’s a one off – everything is a one off. Can you imagine how I felt when I had to go down in my first year; I was supposed to be a bridesmaid for my sister and was made to go to the wedding. I mean the food was amazing and it was funny listening to the mortals accusing each other of taking food from each other’s plates when it disappeared! But I was very sad. I kept kissing everyone on the cheek and giving big hugs. You know I think they can sense it. I really do. My Uncle Phil kept asking my Aunt if anything was crawling on his face! And since I’ve been up here both of them have come up too”.

“Do you visit your uncle and talk to your aunt here?” asked Lily. “Did you tell them that it was you kissing their cheeks all those years ago?”

“Oh you obviously don’t know much about this place yet Lily. Once you’re up here nobody recognises anyone from their past. You can see in the ledger who has come up each day but that’s where it ends. That’s why we get a year of visiting – to have one last experience of all the celebration with people we loved on earth. Some of us departed so quickly that we didn’t get to say our own ‘goodbye’s’.

“Oh I didn’t know that”. Lily said in a disappointed voice. I thought we could go down every Halloween and every birthday and Christmas and any time we wanted to. It’s not like I imagined. When I was young I thought that when you passed away you all went to the same place. It all carried on the same as down on earth. That’s why I was never afraid of dying. But it’s not like that”. Little tears fell from Lily’s eyes but before the tiny drops of liquid hit anything, they disappeared into the air.

“That’s why you must go down to earth for every celebration for your first year away. Don’t worry Lily. Something happens after your first year here and you are satisfied. You don’t need to go again. You’ll see. Just make the most of your visits now. Enjoy seeing your loved ones. Have fun”. The older spirit probably knew what she was talking about but Lily was sceptical.

“I don’t want to talk about it anymore” she was still new to the place and missed her family terribly. She knew that with time it would be easier but at the moment it wasn’t.

She lay on her soft mattress and thought of her Mother and Father and Brother. She knew they would all be missing her as much as she was pining for them. It had only been two months since the fateful night when the car had hit her. She thought back to when she lay motionless in the sterile, white hospital bed, unable to speak, attached to tubes and monitors, the last thing she heard her sobbing mother say before her spirit floated away from her body was “If I could change places with you Lily I would. You shouldn’t go before me”. Lily had looked back down to see her father run his hands through his hair in despair and then console her mother - her brother Billy sitting on the edge of the bed holding Lily’s hand and crying softly.

“Come on misery. Get off that bed and come with me”. Maisie wafted over to the bed and grabbed her hand. “Tonight is the ‘Night before Halloween’ dance and are we going to have some fun!”

The ghosts were all gathered in the big hall. Tables were set up along the edge, laden with food. Music blared inside the room. It floated around as if a tiny orchestra was sashaying in the air. Ghosts in flowing dresses waltzed around the floor, the white flimsy material following behind. Witches looked more sombre, their attire dark purple, their hair flowing long and free.

“Why is that witch wearing all the finery?” Lily asked one of her friends as they stood near the table eating cream cakes and drinking ginger beer.

“Oh she’s in charge of all of the witches up here in our section. She’s quite old now but has a few years to go”.

“What do you mean a few years to go? Where is she going?”

“When you reach one hundred years of age up here, then that’s the end. You walk into a long black tunnel and disappear…for ever. It’s ok though, we don’t have to think about that – we have a long time yet”.

“It’s your special night soon” Maisie reminded Lily as she unwrapped a chocolate bar.

“Yes I know it is, as if I could forget.” She didn’t even want to talk about it. Her plan was to get it over and done with. Very angry that she was even in this strange situation, Lily was disappointed that she would see all of her family and friends tomorrow night but – but they wouldn’t even know she was there – couldn’t touch her, or even laugh with her - the way it was just two months ago. “Maisie” she began, not wanting to hurt her new friend, “When I go tomorrow night, please don’t see me off, say goodbye or anything else please. I really just want to slip away – and I promise I will come in and wake you up when I’m back”.

The room looked fabulous. Table were set up straight through the middle of the room. Blood red table clothes matched the streamers that hung from the familiar lounge room ceiling. Lily noticed the dark splodge high up where she had once thrown a big ball of ‘goo’. Her mother hadn’t been too angry but told Lily not to mention it to her father and for goodness sake “don’t look up at the ceiling when he’s around”. A large punch bowl sat in the middle of each table – a dark liquid swishing around as if they had just been put down after being carried. ‘This should be grape juice” she said to herself as she put a finger inside the bowl and tasted it – ‘Yes that’s grape juice’ she proved to herself! ‘Oh my goodness I can’t believe I just put my finger in the punch?’…

She walked into the kitchen to see her mother icing biscuits and thought back to last year when they did it together. It was black icing with two sweet ‘eyeballs’ in the centre. Her ideas of course! Lily’s initial instinct was to go over and hug her mum – and she did. The familiar warmth and scent permeated her soul. Not wanting to but letting go she sat on the wicker stool that was under the bench, and just watched. She had a feeling that her mother was thinking about her too as she wiped away a tear or two with her sleeve.

Looking around it seemed as if it had all just stayed the same since she left. Nothing seemed out of place. Her favourite cup hung from the white hook, the two Dalmatians sitting on the front of it, big tongues hanging out, signalling their thirst.

Lily heard the heavy front door open and the booming voice of her brother. She gulped, holding back a flood of tears. His handsome face peered around the corner to his mother and with a wistful look exclaimed “It won’t be the same tonight Mum. I’ll feel really sad without Lily here and I’m beginning to wonder why we’re still having the party. I feel bad trying to enjoy myself with her gone”. He came into the kitchen and waited for his mother’s reply.

“I know son” she said wistfully, “but it is what Lily would have wanted. She wouldn’t want us to feel miserable and tonight is for Lily – not just a Halloween party, because without Lily it’s not the same and this will be the last one, but just to bring family and friends together doing something fun that she loved. I feel compelled to use the decorations that she painstakingly made for tonight and all the unusual recipes she looked up and meticulously wrote down. Let’s try and make it ‘for Lily’. He came over and put his arms around his mum and hugged her tight. Lily felt the tears rolling down her cheeks.

He left the kitchen without a word. Lily thought about how much he must be missing her and also how true that she did want everyone who knew and loved her to still have fun.

It wasn’t long before the friends and family began to arrive at the house. The front door was left open and they all just let themselves in.

There were lots of hugs and misty eyes and everyone knew that even though this was a party, it was far from the frivolous, fun times that they usually were.

Lily’s Dad had changed out of his work suit into casual clothes. Sitting in one of the lounge chairs, he reflected on how he was feeling. It was such a short time ago that he lost his only daughter. It had hit him hard and in his private time he still wept for her. Tonight though he was determined to enjoy her memory, the fun and happy-go-lucky side of Lily that shone through in the colours and creations dotted around the room.

She walked around the room and was privy to the conversations that mostly involved her.

“I don’t know how Joanne can go ahead with this party. I admire her completely – I’m not sure if I could do it if I lost my daughter. It’s only a few weeks after all”.

“But isn’t it better to celebrate something she would have wanted everyone to come to, and have fun. Gee she could make you smile, that girl, and that laugh of hers, once that got going!”

“How are you feeling David?” his Uncle enquired, knowing how close they were as brother and sister. “You’re showing your strength David and that’s what Lily would have wanted”. As the Uncle walked off, David headed for the study and shut the door. Sitting on a wide leather chair he began to cry. Lily was standing next to him, watching. She touched his face and looked at his wet blue eyes. Then she held his hand, tight. She knew he couldn’t feel it, but she wanted to feel his hand once again, as she did when they were young children, running together through the long grass, tumbling down, laughing uncontrollably and then getting up to do it again. It felt strong, as it always had. It was the hand that belonged to the brother who looked after her, all through her life.

After David had wiped his face with a tissue, he composed himself and walked out with a smile on his face.

Lily’s mum was handing around food and filling up glasses as if it was a true celebration. She busied herself to forget the sorrow she constantly felt. Tonight when everyone had gone and the house was once again quiet, that’s when her mind would let her think of the emptiness and loss. So many helpful friends had told her that ‘Time heals everything. You never forget and it never leaves you, but the4 edges of sorrow get softer’…so she would wait for that time.

The evening wore on and it got late. The music had gotten louder each hour, thanks mainly to Lily’s younger cousins. Food had been eaten and drinks consumed. The party would be spoken of as a success.

It was time for whoever wanted to, to say a ‘few words’. And many people did. Threading it’s way through each speech was the ribbon of the love everyone felt for Lily.

She listened, perched on a stool and watched their expressions, realising how truly blessed she had been with her family and friends while on earth. Their love would never die – she knew that. Of course memories fade but what’s felt in the heart is there for good.

Grateful that she had been made to come tonight, she now looked forward to the next celebration. The truly best part to her was when her mum, dad and brother said that she could feel Lily’s presence all night, and that it had given her great comfort.