All Day and a Night 

“Everyone on the ground!” He waved around a large gun like a maniac. 

I dropped to the floor immediately. I’ve never seen a gun that big in my whole life, and I’d seen my fair share. It looked like it could put a hole in Superman’s chest.

The man in the light blue Elsa mask, whacked the decrepit security guard in the side of the head, knocking him to the floor in a crumpled heap. A small dribble of blood escaped from under the man’s cap. I felt bad for him but I wasn’t going to say shit. I just needed to get out of here alive. I mean, I’m on probation still and I’m not doing anything to end up back in the box and that includes saving old ass men who think they can secure anything. 

Nah, forget that. I’m going to keep my head down and my mouth shut. 

Besides, the dude looked flustered. His hand was shaking so much I thought he was going to accidentally shoot himself. I wasn’t trying to get hit with a stray bullet from a half-ass bank robber who forgot to bring his backbone. I shifted to my left behind this big guy who was sitting up. The robber didn’t even tell him to get down again like he had to some of the others who tried to sit up. It was like he knew this guy would never be able to get up again if he went down. 

The robber walked toward the four shivering tellers. Two of them looked like they were going to shit themselves. The other two looked like they had shit themselves. He aimed his gun at the first teller’s face, her eyes spraying water, her nose leaking snots. 

“Put the money in the bag.” He said as he tossed a brown burlap potato sack to the woman. 

I thought I heard a little wavering in his voice, but I couldn’t be sure. I was thinking, where in the hell did he find a burlap sack in 2020? Like, is this the Wild West or something? Are we getting robbed in a time machine? I was in shock really and caught myself staring for a few minutes in awe. 

Then he barked again, causing me and the teller to refocus: regardless of what he was robbing us with, he was still robbing us. 

The teller straight froze as if  Elsa, who was standing in front of her, wiggled her fingers and cast a magical spell. Stiff as a block of ice. 

The second teller tried to make a move for the button under the desk. I’m not sure what he was thinking, but the skiddish robber was dangerous with that cannon in his shivering hand. And if anyone doubted that, the tellers move soldified it. 

The Elsa robber spun his head around and yelled at the same time. “What the fuck are you doing?!” 

 Maybe his scream shocked himself as much as the rest of us, because with his arm still pointing straight forward, he squeezed the trigger and even he jumped back from the loud crack of the bazooka he was holding. Like it was a surprise to him, too. The first teller was hit square between her breasts and blown back, red mist filled the air as she flew back in agony. She hit the back counter in a heap of bones and skin. Her eyes said she was dead on impact. 

Elsa got real nervous after that.

 “What the fuck did you do that for?!” He screamed at the teller, like it was his fault he was robbing the bank. 

The teller backed up in a pure fear. The other two tellers further down had already stepped back. They were hoping to avoid the wrath of Elsa. 

“Answer me! Did you press it? Did you actually press it?” 

The chubby white man nodded, his second chin jiggled wildly: up and down, left to right with no control. 

“FUCKKKKKK!” He roared. 

I thought Elsa was going to kill all the tellers, but he turned around and looked over the 10 or so patrons in the bank, including me, and I could see in his face that things were not going according to his plan. In all seriousness, I don’t think he wanted to kill anyone. That helped me to relax a bit. Still, I didn’t move from behind the big dude. 

Elsa snapped his head back toward the tellers, “Open all of your drawers, slowly then get over there!” he pointed to the lobby. 

At an awkward speed, the remaining tellers opened all four drawers and stumbled from around the corner. They splayed out on the floor in the middle of the lobby. The second teller had a large wet stain on the front of his pants which was both sad and upsetting. 

In a clumsy jump, Elsa scaled the counter, into the teller side and dug into the open drawers tossing the money into his burlap sack, like a cowboy. 

Sirens echoed in the distance and Elsa and I heard them at the same time. I guess you could call it criminal intuition, like we were waiting for the eventual sound. No one else seemed to notice at first. Elsa had already been sweating, but now he was drenched. The grey crewneck he had on bore huge wet stains under each arm and a ring forming around his neck. Even the light blue Elsa mask was darkening from his sweat. I couldn’t tell yet if this was good or bad for us. 

After cleaning out all the drawers, he moved around the counter and ran to the front door. Then turned around, his eyes the size of dinner plates. 

“They’re here.” He mumbled to himself and began pacing in the lobby. 

He looked distraught but not just because he was about to get caught and do all day and night in jail now that he killed a woman. I’m not sure why I felt the urge, but I rose to my feet slowly. 

Everyone around me was staring like I was crazy. I mean, it was crazy of me to get up. He saw me. 

“What the fuck are you doing?!” He screamed, his voice was shaking almost as badly as the rocket launcher in his hand. 

I threw my hands in the air, showing him that I didn’t have anything. “Whoa! Relax buddy. I’m just trying to help.” 

“Trying to help?” He walked towards me. Even his movements were jerky and filled with terror. 

“Yeah, listen, can I speak to you for a second?” 

I knew if he said ‘yes’ he wasn’t a real criminal. No real bad guy is going to have a conversation with a damn hostage. But he listened. 

“What?” The gun lowered just a bit, enough to give me hope. 

“Ok, first, you mind taking your finger off that trigger? Not trying to end up like Sally over there looking like a human donut.” 

“I didn’t mean to do that!” He swung the gun around wildly and everyone ducked back down with loud cries. 

“Yeah, I know that. Just put your finger on the side. Close, but not hovering over the trigger. That gun is a monster, man. You can’t accidentally hit anything with that. That’s a killer.” 

He looked at his gun then up at me. He shifted his finger and dropped the gun more. 

“Aight. Let’s go near the door so we can talk.” I was careful not to say or do anything crazy but I also needed to be out of earshot of the other patrons because I didn’t need anything I said coming back to me and fucking up my probation. 

We stood at the far end, each on opposite sides of the door, looking out as the police began pulling up in droves. 

“You got no way out, Elsa.” I said to him. 

His face scrunched up, wondering why I called him Elsa.

“The mask, bro,” I added, “most career criminals and bank robbers with a plan have a better mask than that.” 

The man just looked down and around the lobby. Everyone was looking at us trying to figure out what we were talking about. I just ignored them. 

“What’s your plan?” 

“I-I-I-I don’t know. I don’t know.” He stammered.

Shit. I thought to myself. “Look, what the fuck are you doing here?” 

He looked out into the lobby then back at me, then out to the cops. “My daughter is sick. Hodgkin Lymphoma. I got no insurance and I got laid off from the steel factory on 28 when they closed the plant to move it to Mississippi. My wife left us for my best friend four months ago and now I gotta get her to Boston and treatment but I can’t afford it.” His eyes were bursting with tears. “I thought, what else do I have to lose?” 

FUCK! I thought to myself. This guy was killing me. “Dude, you aren’t built for this and what’s your kid going to do now?” 

“If I die or go to jail, she becomes a ward of the state. She gets medical coverage.” 

Actually, not a terrible plan but then she has no parents. I looked at him then the lobby, then the mounting police standing with guns preparing to make first contact. 

I’m not sure what I was thinking, but looking at that man, broken and scared and thinking about his daughter, I just felt for him. I didn’t think he was lying cause he looked terrified. His tears were real and they weren’t scared tears, they were painful tears. There’s a difference. 

“Ok, listen to me.” I whispered, “aim your gun at the people in the lobby and tell them you are going to shoot anyone who moves. Then take me around into the manager's office.” 

“What?” He asked. 

“Just do it.” 

He did it. He yelled at everyone, angrily scaring the hell out of all the patrons. The big guy looked like he was going to have a heart attack. Then we slipped into the manager’s office. I closed the door and began undressing. 

“What are you doing?!” He asked. 

“Quick, change clothes with me.” 

“What?”

“You want to see your kid again?” 

“Of course...”

“Then give me your damn clothes.” 

We both undressed from the waist up. He was a little bigger than me, but my clothes were baggy. I handed him my oversized hoodie and instructed him to pull the hood up. Since we both had on jeans I didn’t bother switching, even though they were different shades of blue.  This guy had skis for feet, so we also kept our shoes because our sizes didn’t match. To be honest, I didn’t want his shitty Wolverine boots anyway. I put on his sweater which was gross because it was nearly soaked through, like putting back on a wet bathing suit. 

He took off his mask. His dirty blonde hair was peppered with white strands jutted out all over the place in wet clumps. His blue eyes were outlined in pink and red from crying. A dusty five o’clock shadow covered his chin. Crow's feet in the corners of his eyes told me he was older, his behavior told me he was too old to begin a life of crime. I estimate he was mid-forties. The masks made the sound wet clothing makes being peeled from skin, plopping into my hand when he gave it to me. I wrung it out like a dishrag. Rivers of sweat splashed onto the ground. 

“That’s nasty, dude.” I scoffed.

“Sorry.” 

“Alright, give me the gun.” 

He looked at it, then at me like he was weighing his options. Reluctant to hand his only protection to a stranger willing to help him escape a bank robbery. Can’t say I blame him. I wouldn’t have done it. 

“You don’t have any other options,” I reminded him. 

He gave me the gun. It was the heaviest gun I ever held. 

“Ok. I’m in control now.” I grabbed him gruffly by the collar and pushed him out the door making sure no one saw his face. 

“If anyone moves, I’ll blow his face off!” I roared, with confidence. 

Keeping him in front of me, bag in his hands, I walked to the front door and pushed him out into the street. The police weren’t expecting us to come out so fast, and scrambled to get the bullhorn. Before they could speak, I made it clear I wasn’t playing, pressing the barrel of the gun firmly into Elsa’s head. 

Keeping my back against the wall I slid slowly around the perimeter not giving them a clear shot. Elsa was nervous. 

“It’s not gonna work.” He kept repeating. 

I had half a mind to just shoot him myself, I needed to concentrate after all I was helping his ass. 

“Shut up.” I said, hiding my head behind his. 

“This is officer Barnes. You understand that this will not end well for you. Let us help you get out of this alive.” 

I just kept moving. I’m not even sure why, maybe the rush, maybe because I’ve only ever been good at shit like this and for the first time in my life, it was kind of a noble cause. Shit, maybe I just wanted the rush. Regardless, I was in up to my neck. 

We rounded the corner to the parking lot. This was a small police force, so I knew they didn’t have snipers or anything like that so we only needed to get to the car. 

We made. I shoved Elsa into the passenger seat and took the wheel. If they decided to kill me, they’d kill a bystander, too. That was my thinking. I peeled off the mask, then spinning the car 180 degrees around I started b-lining toward the interstate. The cops were right behind us but I knew these country bumpkin pigs couldn’t keep up once we were moving. No way they could drive like me. 

“Wh-wh-why are you helping me?” Elsa asked, looking back at the speeding cop cars. 

“Ionno. You looked pathetic in there. Besides, your kid deserves a chance.” 

If I could get to the interstate, we’d have a real chance. My heart was beating and the rush was like a high. Man I miss this shit. I thought to myself. 

Another left and a quick right, and we reached interstate 495. I pressed down on the gas and sped off, leaving those trash police in my dust, weaving in and out of traffic. I thought Elsa was going to pass out, still sweating he put on his seatbelt and squeezed his eyes tightly. 

It looked like we might get him to his daughter, then we heard the helicopters. I tried to maneuver, but didn’t anticipate the barricade the cops had already set up on the highway. I guess I’m going to be doing that all day and a night in prison. 

That’s what I get for trying to help...