Tears of a titan

I eat, work, save, sleep repeat. Eat, work, save, sleep and repeat. The same process 365 days, 52 weeks. I get no breaks, no life and no enjoyment.

As a child I thought having superpowers would be cool. I could be anyone I wanted, and I choose to be a superhero. I would be able to fly wherever I want, save people and everyone would love me, and I would ride a wave of euphoric emotions all day long.

And yet, no one told me just how boring and tame it would get. My powers no longer seem dope or get me as excited as they once did. One reason is due to the fact I am an anomaly and that there is no one in the world with powers. However, the main reason is that having super strength and speed stops me from having any physical human contact. The first and last time I tried any physical contact she was popped like bubble wrap but without the satisfaction this time. So, it makes perfect sense for me to help people. Even that though has lost its shine.

As the days drag on, I find my emotions becoming duller than a sober Scotsman. Dragging my feet out of bed I run through my routine, check for any supervillains. Fingers crossed someone blew up a political leader or is trying to sink the world. Is this really what my time has come to?

“Several rockslides in Bolivia have claimed the lives of hundreds of motorist who make the commute on the Yungas road, or more commonly known as death road.” She is a very pretty lady on the news. “While many services are in the surrounding are, we are all waiting for who we expect to save the day.”

“Is there no end to this. What would they do if wasn’t around? They expect me everyday to clear up mess after mess.” My eyes welling up, lip trembling and tears streaming out of my face like a fountain. If someone saw me, they would compare me to a cartoon character.

“Well we’ve been waiting for 5 minutes and Mr Centuri has not yet arrived. We are told that the services on the scene will not be removing the rubble left by the rock-slide. If Mr Centuri doesn’t arrive then the road will remain closed indefinitely and those trapped under the rubble will remain lost forever.”

“Why, why won’t they just solve their own damn issues. It’s not fair any of it. Maybe I will leave.” But before I decide anything I guess I should get my boots on.

“What a jerk. He allowed the families to suffer.”

“Mr Centuri has gone down in my estimation for what he did today. There are no excuses for not helping the people of Bolivia sooner.”

“Is he a hero anymore? I wouldn’t call him that. He has really let himself down by not helping sooner. I mean in the UK today there have been 12 avoidable deaths and Mr Centuri only stopped 10.”

“Well it seems that the public opinion of Mr Centuri has changed. Many people are infuriated his poor response time to several incidents for today alone. While he did save 10 lives in the UK there were two fatalities which could have been avoided. With many people renouncing him as a hero this reporter has to ask, does Mr Centuri even care?”

Christ! Do these people not know how good they have it with me around to solve their mistakes constantly. It’s even impossible for me to freak out as the slightest pressure and I could break my everything in front of me.

“Can you believe it Pixie? Saves countless people and all anyone does is moan about.” She is a sweet girl with her luscious red hair down to her thick curvaceous waist. She only wore a hint of make up which just barely covered her star shaped birth mark. Surely, she can see my point of view.

“I’m not sure what you mean Noah? No one seems to be moaning about him.”

That stung if you only knew. “Seriously you don’t hear it. Take this morning for instance they wouldn’t do anything to help and just wanted Mr Centuri to do it. Even lambasting him for taking longer than 5 minutes.” There is no way she can deny this. I heard it with my own ears, which are far superior than hers.

“You must have shoved cotton wool in them again.” How can she laugh about this, can she not see my pain. “The news report stated that no work could be done due to the treacherous conditions of the mountains. That’s why they wanted him to secure the area not to do everything”

“But surely waiting for Mr Centuri all the time is not the answer. What abut his life and what he wants.” I’m almost begging for a bit sympathy, compassion from another human being.

This surely isn’t real. I didn’t hear any of this in the morning. Surely, she can’t deny what was just said in the television. “What about just now people complaining that Mr Centuri is not their hero any more or questioning if he cares.”

Her look of incredulity was all that was needed. She is looking at me as if I have taken a stupid pill or something. Perhaps I really am alone in this world destined to be shunned by everyone left to drown in my own despair.

“Is everything okay Noah. You haven’t been yourself lately.” I can see through her concern just like everyone else its fake. “No one said anything negative in the news. Watch it again in fact most people are slightly concerned as his actions and demeanour have changed so drastically.”

I can’t, just can’t do this anymore. My inner voice screaming out in frustration at the injustice of everything. She lies, the public aren’t concerned about me, they are just concerned no one will save them. Great and now more people have chimed in with their two pence about Mr Centuri pretending they care. They are coming over and crowding me telling me that I am wrong, I must be going crazy. Why are they around me crowding me pushing me into a corner.

What’s happening to me it feels like my throat is closing up, I can’t breathe. “Someone help me, please. I can’t breathe” My heart is thumping harder and faster pounding against my chest. It feels like it’s going to burst out spraying my colleague with blood. What’s happening to me? The world is spinning in front of, all I can think of now is standing up and leaving but as I get up my legs give way crashing through half a dozen desks sending them 30ft. Is this what dying feels like? Finally, I am ready for its sweet embrace darkness sweeps over me.

Waking up groggy is a new experience and not one I would want to repeat. It does have the sobering effect of leaving me feeling vulnerable. “Ah you’re awake –.” The sound of a body thundering against the wall with blood and brains splattering everywhere. Super speed and strength is not a good power to have after blacking out, however that is now the least of problems. What to do about the

“I guess he’s dead then. Never mind.” Even seeing this dead body has no effect on me, however it will on the others. Forget this I’m going to get a drink.

“Whiskey over ice and make it a double.” I try not to make it a habit of visiting pubs as I hear everyone speak ill of me. “Rough day partner?”

You don’t know the half of it. “Rough life.” Wow role your eyes much. You have no idea what I’ve been through, you’ve probably just had a bad day at work.

“Cheer up pal, at least you’re not Mr Centuri that guy is a train wreck. It seems everyone hates him at the moment” Seriously this is not going to help me. I’ll just ignore him and hopefully he will go away. “Another drink. Yeah, I don’t blame anyone, he has really dropped the ball lately. Not saving everyone is just pathetic”

I can’t save everyone; I don’t have precognitive ability just speed and strength. “Uh say something buddy? This guy shows himself to the world it’s his duty to use his powers for the public. Without us he would be nothing.”

The sound of the glass being crushed under my fingers was enough to shut him up. “How can you say that about him. He gives up his life to help people and all anyone does is criticize him, constantly. It’s a wonder I haven’t killed myself yet.” My anger is clear and palpable for everyone to see in the bar, there terrified faces enough to spur me on. Everyone has this coming what I will do next.

“That’s right it’s a WONDER I HAVEN’T KILLED MYSELF YET.” Shouting the top of my lungs in case there is someone who hasn’t heard me. “All I do is save you time and time again. For what? To have small fry there to say I am pathetic, a failure. You say I’m no your hero anymore because a few people died. So, what.”

It’s clear that from their faces that to them, I am just a drunken youth spouting nonsense. They are all laughing at me now but not for long as wipe the smile of their face.

“Hey, calm down buddy, I wasn’t saying anything bad about Mr Centuri, I was just commenting that lately he doesn’t seem himself. Everyone has noticed and we just want to help him.”

“Let me show you how much help I need.” These people have had it coming for months. It is a wonder I haven’t snapped before. Launching the bar will be good start. It crashes through the walls to the street instantly killing several people and injury many more hopefully. The screams fill the town square terrified onlookers aren’t sure where to go.

“Any one still want to criticize me. Mr Centuri. Want to tell me I’m not a hero; that I’m doing a bad job.” Now no one is responding, and I just can’t take it anymore. Years of frustration and anger pouring out onto these people. I can’t save lives without being judged. I can’t help without being judged. I can’t even let them sort out their own issues without being judged. I can’t do no wrong. And yet I do it at the cost of my mental health.

No on stops to ask me how I am. At 20 years old I should be entitled to fun and hanging out with my friends and doing stupid things. However, the virus that is the human race just want more and more from me.

I can see them now, all of them. They no longer despise me and my actions. What I see is far worse than being a figure hate. There is fear etched across every face, the screams of the helpless ringing throughout the streets. What have I done? It was just recognition I wanted; being told I had done a good job, told that people loved me. When did my eyes water and the tears start to run down my face, coating me in their pain and sorrow.

You’re alone, now aren’t you?

“Who’s there, get out of my head.”

You wanted the people’s adulation, to be worshipped like a hero.

Why is the voice getting louder I can barely here myself. “No, I just wanted to be appreciated for my effort and the chance to have my own life.”

Look at you now, the bringer of death and destruction. You think they will accept you again. You’re alone. Hahaha.

How do I stop this voice that seems to be getting louder and louder. It’s practically screaming at me drowning all my thoughts. “Just stop please, I beg of you.”

You’re alone forever and ever, no one to love you, hold you, say what a good man you’ve been.

“Noooooooo. I can’t be alone. It’s not true, it’s not true, it’s not true.”

You won’t be alone forever. I’ll be with you as a thought in your head. Never leaving hahahahaha.