The Sad, Hard, Truth

Everything was perfect. I had the perfect life. My two daughters, my wife, and everything in between. Elle, my oldest daughter. She was such a gem to the family. She always made me smile with her quick-witted and charming personality. For being only four, she was my own personal little princess. My youngest daughter, McKenzie, was such a sweetheart. She would give the world just to see someone happy. For being a little three year old, she made every day more memorable. And my wife. My beautiful, sweet, and supportive wife. Catherine would be there for me, even in the darkest days. She would stay by my side from day one. We always loved, rarely fought. And that’s how it was in my house. When I passed, Catherine didn’t know what to do. The girls cried and cried, and Catherine tried her best to make sure that they could live normal lives. It really was a shock to everyone. But not me. I’ve seen it before. I knew I was going to die soon, as I tried telling people. Nobody would listen.

It all started when I met Catherine. I was young, only seventeen when I fell in love with her. I knew she was the one when she made me laugh, smile, and cry by the snap of a finger. She has been my number one supporter since day one. Once we’ve dated for three years, I proposed to her. It was as fancy as I could make it. She said yes, of course, and then we started our family. First we had Elle Rose, then McKenzie Lynn. Those beautiful girls are absolutely my everything. I would never be the same person without them.

6 months before----

“Good morning daddy!” Elle yelled, running into my bedroom. I grabbed her in for a hug. Elle rolled around in my bed, and I tickled her stomach. Catherine turned around, gave me a smile, and hugged Elle. “Elle, why don’t you go downstairs. We’ll be up in a minute.” Catherine said. Elle nodded and trotted out of the room. “Good morning.” Catherine said, giving me a hug. “Good morning.” I said back. “Hey, um, can I tell you something?” I asked her. She looked me in the eyes. “Yeah, sure. What is it?” She asked me. “I had a dream. Not just any dream. A dream that I was in the hospital. And I was dying.” I said. Catherine kissed my forehead and held my hand. “Bad dream, huh? Nothing to worry about. Okay?” She asked me. I squeezed her hand. “Okay.” I said.

“Dada, can we go out for breakfast?” McKenzie asked me. “Sure, why not?” I replied. Catherine took the girls upstairs to get them dressed. I took this to recuperate my thoughts. Was that all a dream? I thought. It was really getting to me, but I knew I had to shake it off and be the father I vowed to be. “Ready?” Catherine asked me. “Of course, darling.” I said, holding the door open for her and the girls. “Thanks, Dada!” McKenzie said to me in her cute, innocent voice. I picked her up and tickled her stomach as she laughed. Catherine held Elle’s hand to the car.

4 months before----

“It’s alright sir, we can fix you up in no time!” The doctor told me. I looked over at Catherine who smiled at me. “Told you.” She lipped. I laughed a little. “Alright. I have medication waiting for you at the pharmacy. That’ll be all for today!” The doctor said. “Thank you very much!” Catherine said, shaking the doctor's hand. When we got to the parking lot, Catherine hugged me tight and looked at me. “See, you can stop being paranoid.” I smiled and held her tight.

“Dada!” Elle said, laughing at me as I walked into her room wearing a tutu. “What?! It’s your birthday, so I thought we could wear matching tutus!” I said. I was trying to be the best father I could be, knowing that my paranoid days were over. “Happy birthday baby! How do you like Daddy’s new outfit?” Catherine said with a laugh. “Ew, no!” Elle yelled. We all laughed as we held Elle.

Her party was everything she could ever want. She had a bouncy house, a ball pit, and so much more! More importantly, all of our closest friends and family were there. It was one of the most beautiful days I’ve ever had with Elle. McKenzie was so excited to give Elle her big birthday gift. When Elle opened her new bike, she ran around the yard, screaming with excitement. Everyone at the party laughed. It was really a special day. Now my princess is five.

3 months before---

“Come here, honey. I need to show you something!” Catherine said to me as I walked in the house after work. “Woah, woah. What’s going on?” I asked her. Elle laughed as she hugged McKenzie. “Shhh.” Catherine told her as they laughed. I smiled as I followed Catherine upstairs.

 “Okay, sit here and close your eyes. Elle has to go get a gift she wants to give you.” Catherine said. I sat down. I felt Catherine grab my hand. “What do you think it is?” She whispered. “I honestly don’t know.” I said as we laughed. 

“Good, good. Elle, give Dada your present.” Catherine said. I felt something be sat down in my hand. “Open.” Catherine said. It was a box. “Aw, did you make something for me Elle?” I asked. “No.” Elle said laughing. Catherine laughed and picked her up. I was so confused as I opened the box. There was a note that said, “Congratulations, it’s a boy.” I looked at Catherine to see her crying. I got up and hugged her. I was having my first son.

2 months before---

“So, do you guys have a name yet?” Catherine’s parents asked. Catherine smiled. “Austin.” She said. We smiled and they hugged us. “We can’t wait to be grandparents to a grandson.” Her mother said. 

“Hurry, we are gonna be late!” I joked to Elle as we crossed the busy streets of LA. I was going to find out today whether or not I officially made it to professional basketball. I brought Elle, my good luck charm, as we walked into the training center. 

The secretary gave me the papers as Elle and I sat down. Elle looked at me and said, “I hope you make it Dada.” She never failed to melt my heart. “Me too princess.” I said as I gave her a kiss. I opened the paper. “Look baby! They want me to play for them in a few months at the next big LA game!” I said. Elle jumped up and down. She was so supportive of me when she barely knew what exactly this meant.

When I got home and told Catherine and McKenzie the news, they were ecstatic. To celebrate, I took the family out for ice cream.

1 month before----

Today is the day of the baby shower. Usually, you only have a baby shower for your first kid, but we do it for every kid. All of our friends and family came, and it was a blast. We got a lot of helpful items for the baby boy, and Catherine had a chance to talk with all her old friends. 

“Dada! Are you okay?” Elle asked me as I lay there on the floor. “Yes, sweetheart. Hurry for me and get Momma.” I said. Elle rushed out of the bedroom and ran to get Catherine. “Honey! Honey! Come on, answer me!” She screamed. Elle started to cry, and I used the last bit of my energy to grab Elle, McKenzie, and Catherine’s hands and bring them to my chest.

“Momma, look! It’s Dada!” Elle said, staring at me from about five inches away from my face. I sat up and Catherine ran over and hugged me. I gave her a kiss as I grabbed Elle and McKenzie and sat them in my hospital bed. “Are you okay? Can we go home?” Elle asked. I frowned as Catherine grew tears in her eyes. “We were all worried.” She said as I hugged her.

3 minutes before---

Catherine knew. I knew. My friends knew. My family knew. We all knew I was going to pass. All besides my two princesses. I was alone with my daughters as I was about to head into a life-threatening surgery. “Good luck Dada!” Elle said, giving me a tight hug. I was teared up, because I knew that this could be the last hug I ever give my princess. “Elle Rose, I want you to know how much Dada loves you. You are my princess, no matter how far apart we may be, do you understand?” I asked her. She nodded. “I love you too Dada.” She said. I smiled and hugged her. 

“McKenzie Lynn, you listen to me. Dada loves you so much. I will be with you for the rest of your life. I will love you and watch over you.” I said. She gave me a kiss. “Good luck Dada! See you soon.” I smiled, even though I knew I would never see her again.

“Catherine, I have loved you since the day I met you. I knew that there could never be another woman that could even amount to a fraction of the love that I have for you. I met you when I was young, not thinking we would last long, only hoping. The time that I got with you has been more than I could ever imagine. You have truly changed me as a person, and I will watch over you and love you for eternity.” I told her. Then I rubbed her stomach and talked to my son. “Austin, you were such a shock to me. Please keep Momma happy, and when she is sad, remind her of me.” I said. Catherine just held onto me, crying and muttering things like, “I love you.” Or, “Don’t go.” I just held her hand, not wanting to accept the fact that I was going.

1 minute before---

“I’m-I’m sorry. We will give you your last minute with your wife.” The doctors said. I heard Catherine run in, but I was so drugged up I couldn’t talk. “I love you! You are the only man I will ever love! Please don’t go! Please!” She cried. I held her. My last words to her were, “I love you, baby. I love you.” And just like that, I was gone.

10 years later----

“See these pictures? Look, Elle. That was you and Dada in matching tutus on your fifth birthday.” Catherine said, wiping her tears away. Elle rubbed her fingers against the picture. “I remember this day. The day when Dada invited the whole town to my birthday party!” She said with a laugh, wiping away her tears. “Look, Kenzie. Remember when Dada took you to your dance recital?” Catherine asked her. “Aw, yeah! Those pictures are so special.” McKenzie said. Elle was now fifteen and McKenzie was thirteen. 

“Momma, do you have any pictures of me and Dada?” Austin asked. “Austin, Dada died before you were born, but oh, if only you could know how much he loved you.” Catherine said. “What about baby shower pictures?” Elle asked. “Oh, yes! Thank you princess.” Catherine said. Austin looked at the picture. “I wish I got to meet Dada.” Austin said. Catherine hugged him and wiped tears. “Trust me, he was the best father anyone could ever ask for.” Elle said. “Yeah, and he loved you so so much, you have no idea.” McKenzie said. Being nine now, Austin had no actual memory of me.

I love my family more than anything I could have ever loved. Elle made me laugh, and so much more by just being Dada’s little princess. McKenzie made me so happy by cheering me up everyday. Catherine, oh Catherine. She was the best wife anyone could possibly imagine. I am so thankful for every moment I got to spend with her. She has taught me so much, and I am so glad that she can teach our children her ways. And Austin. He grew up to be such an amazing kid, and Catherine put him into basketball. I have no doubt that Austin will carry on my legacy. I am so glad that I can watch over my beautiful family. 

Elle, Austin, Catherine, McKenzie, and the rest of my family will be watched over very carefully. I will put all my effort into answering their prayers, and for being the Dada that isn’t actually visible, but that is there mentally. Trust me, if I could be there again I would. But for now, I’ll just live by memory.