The Spy Who Birthed Me

“...and that is how I managed to infiltrate the Department of Justice’s system just long enough to delete the criminal records of the Black men in jail for marijuana charges, but I think I found something, but I could only download a partial file before my security system was breached, so it’s only a matter of time before they’re knocking on our-”

Three sharp knocks on the door interrupted me. 

My mother continued to stare at me with her mouth slightly agape. 

Three more knocks came, followed by a gruff voice on the other side.

“Ms. Mullein, we’d like to talk to your daughter, Lillian. It won’t take but a moment of your time”, the voice echoed.

“We both know they’re lying. It’s going to take all of our foreseeable time”, I said, plainly.

“Lillian Grace Mullein, I will deal with you later. Go to your room, right now.”

Her eyes bore into mine sending a shiver down my spine. Her voice was steady while she hurried me down the hall and turned to answer the door.

“Coming!” she called, “Go!” she mouthed at me and shooed.

I closed my bedroom door as the front opened. My mother greeted our guests; I was unsure of how many there were, though a few different sets of feet stomped around our living room, followed by mumbled words as I hurried to stash a couple things in my backpack. 

I can’t believe I came that close to telling her, I thought to myself as I put my encrypted laptop inside the zip pocket of my bag.

As of right now, mom was of little consequence to them. She knew practically nothing and if I was going to keep her safe, I’d have to keep it that way. They’ll never admit this to a civilian willingly. 

I heard my mother say something insinuating I was at my dad’s for the weekend, which I was supposed to be. 

Dad would have sold me out right away.

Mom’s voice began to raise and protest as the heavy footsteps continued down the hall towards me. I finished throwing supplies in my bag and opened up the window to my first-story bedroom. As the door began to open, I braced myself in the frame of the window long enough to turn back and lock eyes with my mom, who was already handcuffed in the middle of five suited goons.

“Lillian Mullein, cease and desist!”, the goon pack leader said forcefully.

“Did you say, ‘leap and resist’?” I snarked before my shoes made contact with our lawn.

“She never was a great listener”, I heard my mom joke before I took off down the street, not entirely sure where I was headed, but with a slight inkling of where to begin.

✿✿✿

I dialed her number from a payphone roughly six blocks away. Ducking between alleyways through downtown was the only way to lose the path of the flunkies who’d never stepped foot in the south side of Adalas.

We hadn’t spoken in at least four months, but on the way over, I tried counting how many options I had, coming up with only the one. She had a habit of ignoring the calls of the names on Caller ID she didn’t know.

This was my only shot; a voicemail was not an option.

The pauses in between appeared longer with each of the six passing rings.

“I’ve already got your location: give me one good reason not to send the cops to you, sleazeball. I told you, I’ll get you the money when-”

“Di, it’s me”, I interrupted.

A longer pause.

“Prove it”, she said, her voice lowered.

“This is an emergency, don’t make me-”

“Suite yourself. The cops will be on their-”

“Her name was Lola-”, I began begrudgingly soft, “-she was a showgirl…”

Diane stifled herself on the other line.

“I’m sorry, you need to speak up.”

I glanced at the dark silence surrounding me.

“I could blow my cover.”

“Three...two…”

“...with yellow feathers in her hair and a dress cut down to there”, I said a little louder, “she would merengue- okay, enough. We need to talk, but can’t meet.”

“It’s been four months since I gave a rats wire about what you said I needed. Cut the crap and tell me what you need.”

“I need my mom and I to be erased.”

“Erased? As in…?”

“Completely.”

“How many questions do I get? I vote twenty.”

“Di, I don’t have time for this. Tell me your price so we can get on with it.”

“Two complete erasures? You’re askin’ quite a bit of me here…”

“What are you doin’; keeping me on the line? Name it, I gotta get going”, the rate of my racing heart dictating the level of impatience in my tone.

“Alright, alright. I’ll get started. When do you need it done?” 

“Twenty minutes?”

“Cheese and rice, you’re askin’ a lot. Let’s just say you owe me one”, she settled.

“Alright, I owe you one.”

“Hey- a big one”, she emphasized before the dial tone rang in my ear. 

I put the phone back on the receiver. Before my hand could leave it, it rang again.

“Hello?” I answered.

“It’s me”, Di said urgently, “L, your mom has already been erased. I can’t find traces of her anywhere on the-”

The phone cut briefly to static before I could hear a sigh on the other line. 

“Meet us now, Lillian, and you and your mother will be out of harm’s way. If not, I will ensure that Royce Richter’s hands are the ones that put you there”, the voice was the same as the one from earlier.

“Should I have heard of this guy?” I asked, “Or does Royce make a habit of referring to himself in the third person?”

“If you don’t come home in one hour, your mother will be erased physically, the way she was digitally.”

The dial tone echoed in my ear alongside my mom’s quip as I leapt from my bedroom window. I hung up the phone, opened the door to the booth and slowly drew in a cool, deep breath; I had to accept that returning home became my new, only, option.

✤✤✤

From across the street, the windows to my house remained dark, curtains drawn like mom kept them. Searching for signs of the men in suits, there appeared to be none.

They’re there, I said to myself.

“I know”, I responded aloud.

It was getting late. I glanced at the watch on my wrist and then from left, to right, to left again before half-running across the street. My heart pounded as I got closer to the front stoop while my mind raced with possibilities of what they’d do to me...or what they had already done to mom.

I raised my hand to knock, but the door opened and Head Honcho himself towered above me.

“Welcome back,” he stated, dryly, “you made quick with that trip. My boss will appreciate that.”

“Not like you gave me much of a choice,” I replied, “I didn’t do it for your boss.”

The man folded his hands together in front of himself and nodded to the two goons flanking me, cracking a sly smile on the right side of his mouth.

“Now that was a funny joke”, he sighed happily.

The goons stepped towards me and he held up a hand.

“Be nice”, he warned, “Snitches might get stitches, but that’s better than what she’d do to ya.”

“Yeah”, I chimed in, “you hear him? I’ll mess you-”

“Not you, pipsqueak.”

“He means me, honey”, mom entered the living room from down the hall. She walked without restraints and none of the goons seemed worried she’d attempt to escape.

“Mom?”

“Don’t worry, baby, you’re safe now.”