Fool me once

The alarm clock rang, I don’t want even to look at the time. It’s April 1^st. No! I want to skip this day. Can I get drunk and just sleep through the day? I feel woozy, maybe I’ve drunk too much with my friend last night.

Just think about it. Do we have to celebrate a lie when the world is full of corruption and mischievous people? I don’t know what makes this day so special. Every day seems like a lie to me.

And here I am, trying to get dressed to go to work. I am a man of my word, and I hate all the office typical jokesters. Yay, look at me! I have all the fun in the world! I ironically said to the mirror, after filling my skin with aftershave.

- Very funny! - My wife made breakfast, a toast with a smile, and a dark coffee.

She was already gone since her shift had already started. My case was ready to go but I didn’t want to. I bet Oscar had some plans for today. He loved this holiday and he was really into it. All the tricks and lies that come with it. I just hate his personality when this day comes.

Don’t get me wrong, we are friends since I’ve entered the company. The only guy that you can have a nice conversation with and don’t be overwhelmed with his ego. But the first of April makes this man become the Devil.

The trip to the office was so fast that here I am, entering the sliding doors.

- Hello there, buddy! – I almost panicked at Oscar’s voice.

- Good morning.

- You don’t seem so good, Daniel. Need some coffee? – Why doesn’t he just shut up? I want to leave so badly.

- No. I’m good. Already had breakfast. – I’ve controlled my voice to sound like nothing affected me. Can’t we just skip this day?

- There is no too much coffee for me. We can always have another.

- I’m good. No coffee for me. – I hope he takes the lead to leave me alone.

- Well, I’ve tried. Coffee just for me then. Want to join?

- No. I have to get done with some work. You know, the deadlines kill me. – I could almost see a deviant gaze in his eyes. He was up to something, I could tell.

- Yeah, you got it! – I don’t even know if he's trying to cheer me up or whether he knows I'm trying to get away from him.

As soon as I reached my desk, some people came to talk to me and it seemed like ages! I’ve checked everything that could be a prank or a lie at office chats. Inspecting the seat, the pen, the mouse, the keyboard. Every email was checked twice for clues, any detail given was thoroughly analyzed. Even going to the bathroom was like a show. Last year someone changed the soap with glue on men’s bathroom. Maybe they glued the door or the toilet seat. I am sick and tired of this.

The day was so long that I was almost finished before lunch. I wanted a quiet one. Of course, Oscar wouldn’t let me.

- Any plans for lunch?

- No. – As much as I wanted to get rid of him, I would never lie, not even in April’s fool.

- I was thinking, we could try the new restaurant that opened in the street below. It seems that they have the most amazing Francesinha in our city. – Was that even true? I don’t know what that dish is.

- Francesinha? What’s that? – I asked. Even if it was a prank.

- A Portuguese restaurant.

- Have you had any Portuguese food at all? – I was a Portuguese emigrant, so one more motive for him to joke with the imaginary restaurant.

- Well, just the one that I’ve eaten at your house.

- It was nothing near a Francesinha.

- All the drinking and fun made me crave something new. And when I found out about this new restaurant, I wanted to check it out with you.

- I can’t today. Not in the mood. – And that is the truth, my friend. I don’t want you to play with me.

- Fine. Don’t worry. I will let alone. – He said, with his hands up.

- Thanks. That means a lot.

- Sure. – And he was gone, at least for now. But I was aware of his movements today. Always.

After lunch, that I ate alone, the meeting was on zoom and some people keep asking me if I needed a time out. I don’t know why. Had someone said something to them? Another prank? It must be. The clock was ticking slow. The work was being done but the hours seemed frozen. After some ages ago, it was time to go home.

How to not being pranked? Waiting to everyone to go first and change your route. One hour after the end of the shift, I started to get home. I wanted to relax and just sleep. It was a big day. Much was avoided. No more pranks for me. My wife usually don’t do silly things. I was safe as soon as I reached the door lock.

- Hey, baby! – She smiled at me and hugged me, as soon as I have entered the door. – How was your day?

- It was a crazy April Fool’s! – I answered.

- How come? – I let my body fill the couch. I had it done, no tricks. Maybe next year I could do the same.

- You know Oscar.

- The one friend at your office? Did he pull a prank? – She seemed somewhat strange too.

- No, and I don’t understand. – I was thinking about all the opportunities that he missed. Didn’t seem like him. – He never missed a day for five years and now he just stayed quiet and cheerful.

- It does not seem like him.

- Yes, not at all. I don’t know what happened. Yesterday we were drinking after work and he said that this was the best day of the year. I was thinking he had a great plan but, no. It was normal and so strange.

- Tell me about it. – She smirked. – You don’t have a clue, do you?

- What happened? – I was clueless.

- You slept it.

- Slept?

- Yes, baby. April fool was yesterday and you were a fool to get a drink with him.

- I don’t understand. – I am so confused. – Yesterday we were in March, right?

- No baby. You were asleep. Every hour of the first day of the month. He drugged you. It was a prank.o

- It was a WHAT? – I screamed, running through the living room and reached the calendar in the fridge’s door. It was April 2^nd there. – Are you pranking me?

- What? – She appeared at the kitchen’s door. – You haven’t looked at your phone? Your computer? He did put a good prank on you, that’s certain. – She was amused. I was not. I’ve checked. She is right. The second day of April. - I've called a sick leave for you yesterday. You were blacked out. I was even worried that I've called a doctor to check on you.

What a douchebag! This was the worst prank ever. He can wait for mine, next year. He will never recover from this one. I bet.