Peace After the Storm

As I stood outside the front doors of the drone factory where I'd worked for over twenty years, I stared at the furious black sky threatening any moment to release it's pent up frustration. Should I dare make a run for it without my umbrella? I thought for almost a moment too long, but as the first sprinkles fell, I realized it didn't matter if I was drenched. No one at home would care how I looked when I dragged my exhausted body through that door anyway. Certainly not him, the man I had been married to for twenty two years now. I made a run for it.

I made it to the car just in time. Thank goodness, I thought, at least I'd finally managed to save enough to buy this little Toyota. If I still had to drive that old Ford, I'd be lucky if the windshield wipers even worked. There were way more wrong things with that little Ford than there were right. The stereo had gone out years before I finally put that junker to rest. The only noises I would hear as I drove down the road were the squeaks and rattles from the many things about to fall apart. Thankfully I'd finally managed to get myself into something decent, I thought as I plopped down on the gray leather seat and tossed my purse beside me.

Before I could even start the car, the black sky released its anger on the earth. Thick, heavy rain blocked the view through my windshield. I felt the familiar pang of dread rise from my stomach to my throat. My anxiety about going home was bad enough without having to drive home in this kind of weather. I reached for my purse on the passenger seat and waded through pens, change, receipts and everything else trying to locate the little brown bottle of pills I knew I would need to make this trip home and survive the night in one piece. My thoughts were interrupted when my cell phone rang.

"Hello"

"Mom, when will you be home?" My 14 year old daughter, Kristina, asked.

"The weather is bad out here, its probably going to take me longer than usual."

"Can you pick up food? ... please. Your husband didn't cook again."

"Kris, he's your dad."

"Whatever.... but can you please pick up something? Maybe tacos?"

"It depends on the weather when I get across town. I got to go. You know I can't talk and drive."

Twenty minutes later, I'd finally made the ten minute drive across town without losing my mind. Just as the taco place came into view, the rain slowed to nothing more than a sprinkle. Looks like Kris will get her wish after all, I thought as I pulled into the drive through to order our usual. At least this meal was relatively cheap. Feeding three humans and three dogs on only my income was often an extremely difficult task. As I waited in the drive through line, I dreamed about Darren finally getting off his butt and finding a job. I grabbed my phone and scanned the web for local job openings. I'm sure there were at least ten Darren could do.

"Ma'am, that will be fifteen dollars and sixteen cents."

I looked up at a gray haired woman with tired eyes, "Are you sure? It was twelve dollars and fifty cents last week. I always order the same exact thing."

"Prices went up a couple of days ago. You know this economy is rotten."

I dug around in my purse again. I knew I had stashed away forty dollars the other day. "Hang on. I know it's here somewhere"

The woman took a deep breath and glanced at the line of cars behind me. I dumped the contents of my purse onto the seat. After a minute or two of scrounging through all the junk I kept and didn't really need, I finally gave up and handed her my debit card. Hopefully I hadn't spent so much that it would interfere with paying the bills.

When I pulled into the driveway, Kris came running out to grab the taco bag. "I'm starved."

"Well go ahead and eat honey. I got your usual. I'm sure you're dad is ready to eat too. I'm going to lay down awhile."

"Hard day?" Kris asked as she held the door open for me.

"Yea it was. I was really busy."

I slipped in the house without speaking to Darren. I just couldn't deal with that right now. Hopefully the tacos would make him happy and he'd just go back to watching whatever he'd been watching on tv all day.

I pulled the curtains in the bedroom closed to block out the afternoon sun. After slipping off my shoes, I fell into the mattress and closed my eyes. Within moments, I was in dream world.

"What the hell are you doing?" His angry voice bellowed across the room as he flipped on the overhead light.

"I had a hard day. I'm really tired."

"Tired?" He seethed. "Tired from what? Sitting on your ass at your desk?"

"Please just let me rest a little while." I begged with my eyes squeezed shut to block out the light.

"You're away from us all day long and then come home and want to be left alone. What kind of wife does that?"

"One that works all day...."

"Don't start your shit woman!"

I whispered, "I'm not starting......." but before I could finish I felt the pain as his hand snatched a wad of my hair.

"Get up!"

"Please just leave me alone." I said still whispering as I tried to pull his hand away, not wanting to upset Kris.

"I will when you get your ass up."

"Okay, fine." I said as I tried to scoot toward the edge of the bed while he held his grasp of my hair.

He finally let go and smiled like a completely different man. "Come on, let's go outside and have a smoke."

I quietly followed him. I knew he wouldn't leave me alone until I did. We sat down in plastic lawn chairs on the porch. He lit a cigarette and handed it to me with the same smile. I managed a smile back as I took the smoke. I wondered why he couldn't be like this all the time.

"So, how was your day?"

"It was really busy. How was yours?"

"Nothing special. Just missed you."

"Did you go to the store today?"

"No. What makes you ask that?"

"I thought you might have needed some money for something. I can't find the forty bucks I had in my purse."

"Are you accusing me of taking it?"

"I was just asking...."

"Here we go again. You never stop, do you?"

"What does that mean? I just asked."

"You accused me of stealing."

"No. I never said that. Would you just stop?"

"Stop what? I'm not doing anything, but I can."

"Have you been drinking again?" I asked. The words came out, but I knew I shouldn't have said them.

He jumped from his seat with a force that pushed the chair back and knocked it over on it's back. He grabbed me by the throat. His fingers pressed deep into my skin, I couldn't breathe. I squeezed my eyes shut, I couldn't look at his face anymore. I struggled to get away, but my entire body was frozen from fear and the lack of oxygen. I was sure I was about to die. Then I heard the scream.

"Noooo! Let go of her now!" Kris screamed.

Darren let go. I coughed and gasped for air. I tried to open my eyes to see Kris, but everything was a complete blur.

"I wasn't doing anything!" I heard Darren yell though I couldn't focus enough to see him.

"You're a liar. I hate you." Kris screamed.

"Don't you ever call me a liar again!" Darren's voice had changed to that tone I'd only ever heard him use with me.

"I saw it with my own eyes!"

"You've lost your mind. You're crazy."

I wanted to help her. I wanted to scream, but the words just wouldn't form. I managed to form a breathy whisper, "Leave her alone."

"You shut up." Darren slurred his words as he scowled my way, "Or I'll..."

"Or you'll what?" Kris yelled, "Strangle her again?"

"I already told you...." Darren growled.

Kristina took off running. I could hear her footsteps pattering loud and fast against the concrete.

"Leave her alone!" I pushed out the words through my aching throat.

Darren stormed towards me. I felt helpless. I needed to help my baby. I needed to protect her, but I couldn't even protect myself. A lump formed in my throat, my eyes filled with tears and burned as they streamed down my cheeks. Darren had never laid a hand on Kris, but this time I just didn't know. This time felt different.

Then I felt his hands wrap around my throat again. The smell of alcohol from his heavy breath burned my nose. I tried to kick him as I gasped for air. The last thing I remember were bright flashing lights shining through the trees.

******

"Ma'am, can you hear me?" I opened my eyes. A middle aged man with a trimmed mustache and brown eyes stood over me lightly shaking my arm.

"Yes," I mumbled, "I can. What happened?"

"You're daughter called 911. We have your husband in the back of the patrol car," he said as he pointed towards the street in front of the house. "We need to know if you want to press charges."

"Oh no, I don't...." my voice was drowned out by Kristina's.

"Mom, please....before he kills you."

"I can't..."

"Why can't you?" Kristina asked with tears streaming down her cheeks.

"He will just come back as soon as he gets out. It will be worse."

"Ma'am," the officer interrupted, "We won't let him come back. There are people who can help you. I promise. People who can show you how to protect yourself....and your daughter from him."

"Please Mom! Stop putting us through this!" Kristina pleaded like a child, but in so many ways she was more of an adult than she should have to be at fourteen years old.

I took a deep breath and slowly released it. I was scared to death. I knew if I provoked him, it always got worse. I glanced at the officer then I turned and looked into my daughter's pleading eyes. I looked out at the car with swirling blue lights. Inside it trapped the man I'd been married to for twenty years. A man who could be so sweet and loving then snap in an instant into a raging monster.

"Yes, I'll press charges."

Kristina wrapped her arms around my shaking body and squeezed tight. "Thank you Mom."

I released a deep breath. My entire body relaxed. My mind felt clear. A strong sense of peace came over me that I never remembered feeling before that moment I watched the patrol car drive away. I was sad, not sad that it was over, but sad I'd endured it for so long.

My story isn't a sad one though. It's the story of a girl who fought through the storm she thought would never end.