Eden in the Rearview Mirror

Jarod plopped the bag of food down on the desk and likewise plopped himself in a chair. The afternoon sun had creeped in through the windows, showing off angular shapes and making the shadows appear denser, solid. Sounds from outside the room were muted. No one, it seemed, wanted to further fracture a day that had already been horribly shattered.

“Thanks, bro,” Fenny opened the bag and poured the contents out. Two Filet-O-Fish sandwiches and a double cheeseburger.

“Lot of cops out there, Fenny.”

Fenny took a large bite out of the first fish sandwich and gave a soft moan of pleasure. She stood and went to a window, taking another large bite out of the sandwich as she viewed the scene. Police cars lined the quiet suburban street, all lit up with flashing red and blue lights. A multitude of blue-clad men were watching the house; some had their pistols out, aimed at the abode. After a couple of minutes, Fenny turned away.

“So, no chance of a daring escape.” Fenny tossed the wrapper on the coffee table and started eating the double cheeseburger, washing it down with a hard seltzer. Jarod eyed her with a mixture of pity and puzzlement. She didn’t appear to be affected by what she had just done. She ate the double cheeseburger quickly, as was her fashion, and sipped the hard seltzer in between bites.

“Where…uh…where did you get the gun?”

Fenny finished the double cheeseburger and unwrapped the last sandwich.

“Dear Roger bought it last year. To protect us in case some evildoers wanted to come in and do evil things. Watched too many episodes of ‘Criminal Minds,’ I think.”

“And…uh…where…”

“In the bedroom. You don’t want to go in there, Jarod. It’s a mess.”

Jarod shuddered at the thought of what he would see in the bedroom. He put it off for the moment.

“Fenny, you have to let me help you.”

Jarod’s sharp words and forceful tone caused Fenny to stop eating. She gazed at her brother impassively before returning to her final sandwich.

Fenny’s phone chose this moment to buzz; she tossed it into a vase of flowers. A few bubbles rose from the water, and the buzzing soon stopped. Jarod’s phone also buzzed. He stared at the caller’s identity for a few seconds before answering it.

“No. Yes. Talking. No, no, everything’s fine. In her hand. I’m not sure. Listen, I gotta go. I’ll call you back later.”

Fenny smiled at her brother.

“Cops?”

“Yes. They want a progress report.”

Fenny barked out a laugh, piercing the pillowed softness of the air in the room. She lit a cigarette and curled her legs underneath her as she sat on a sofa, hunching over an ashtray that was filled with cigarette butts.

“Wanna beer? I think Roger has some Guinness in the fridge. There’s wine in the pantry. We have some whiskey…”

“Fen!” Jarod stood up and paced the room. He lit a cigarette but didn’t smoke it. It went out, so he lit it again, puffed, and inhaled. Immediately he began coughing and sputtering.

“That’s what happens when you don’t smoke,” Fenny said, laughing. Jarod glared at her.

“This shit’s serious, Fen. You killed two people and threatened to kill yourself unless I came in to talk to you. Those cops out there,” Jarod waved at the windows, “won’t wait forever.”

“They’ll wait long enough.”

“Long enough for what?”

“Long enough for me to explain it to you.”

**************

Jarod stood at the bedroom door, surveying the scene and trying not to puke. He had seen plenty of photographs of dead bodies in his profession, but he had never seen one in person. Now he saw two.

He rushed to the bathroom and threw up in the sink. His legs trembled and he felt dizzy. After a few moments, he washed his face with cold water and made a phone call.

“Yes, definitely Roger Callaghan and Alicia Stephens. What? Yes, I’m positive. Yes, she still has the gun. What? No! I’m not even gonna try to take it away from her. Dammit, someone could get hurt! No, I’ll get her to come out. I don’t know, fifteen minutes, a couple of hours, who the hell knows. Ok. Ok. Yes, right.”

Jarod put his phone away and returned downstairs.

**************

“Ok. Explain it to me, sis.”

“You saw them?”

“Yes. The cops wanted to know.”

“Did you tell them?

“Yes.”

The afternoon sun dipped below the trees in the neighborhood, covering everything with long-fingered shadows but allowing tendrils of sunlight to play amongst the greenery. A whisper of a breeze cooled the law enforcement personnel and the onlookers. A news helicopter hovered above the area, the muffled thump-thump of its blades adding an aura of surrealism to the scene.

“I shot them three times each.”

Jarod’s horrified expression brought a smile to Fenny’s face.

“Well, I had to make sure, didn’t I?”

Jarod slumped into a chair and stared at the wall opposite him. He couldn’t look at his sister.

“It wasn’t just the affair. I knew about that months ago.”

“But…but didn’t…”

“Yes. But Roger pulled the usual dick moves of your gender. Said it was all in my head, and that I was the one having an affair because I was always gone on book signings and promotions.”

“Ok. I’m a little offended, but ok.”

“I was a week away from leaving him. Made a new will and took half the money from our joint account. So, I came home a day early from my last tour. My last promotion was cancelled due to some political brouhaha. And there they were. In my bed.”

Jarod stood and closed the curtains. The approaching night would make it easier to see inside, and he didn’t want that. Fenny needed time to say what she needed to say.

“So, if it wasn’t the affair, then…well…why?”

Fenny plucked a book from one of the bookshelves in the living area and handed it to Jarod. The bookshelf had a dozen similar copies of the same book.

“Ok. Your first book,” Jarod said, looking at his sister quizzically.

“My only book. ‘Eden in the Rearview Mirror.’ New York Times bestseller and shortlisted for the Pulitzer.”

“Now you’re bragging.”

Fenny sighed and shook her head. A sadness that was deeper than the soul invaded her eyes.

“It’s my curse. But that comes later. First, there is Roger and Alicia, humping in my bed.”

“Ok, they were screwing.”

“They had finished, I think. I could hear them talking.”

“Really?”

“Well, yes. I crept upstairs and stood by the door.”

“Hmm.”

“They were talking about me. And about my book. Roger said I had deplorably slender hips, like a boy’s hips. Alicia made a snide comment about my small boobs.”

“That did it? You had to kill them for that?”

“No. It pissed me off, but I do have slender hips and small boobs. But it hurt a little, you know? I used to love Roger and now I was thrown over for one of your paralegals.”

Jarod shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

“Hey, I’m sorry about that, sis. I didn’t know Roger was screwing Alicia. I would’ve fired her if I knew.”

“Sweet, but it wouldn’t have solved anything. Roger was…Roger. Or…well…he became a different Roger after being married to me for ten years. And they were simply rationalizing their affair.”

“I don’t get it. I’ve worked side by side with Roger for a decade and I never knew he was cheating on you. He was very slick, I suppose.”

Fenny laughed lightly.

“You’re very easy to fool, bro. You think the best of people you work with, and of me. Sure, you’re a proficient defense attorney because you know how to delve into the minds of jurors, but you’re shit at understanding the people closest to you.”

“I think that’s a little unfair, Fen. Why do…”

“Did you ever see me as a killer? Did you ever see Roger and Alicia as adulterers?”

“No, but…”

“Ok then. Maybe in another life, I wouldn’t have killed them, and you would understand me better, and I would write more bestsellers, and I would have bigger boobs, and…well…life would be different. But that isn’t where we’re at.”

Streetlights started to glow and then illuminate the night. The circled pools of light showed that the law enforcement types were still holding their ground, and news trucks added to the population outside of Fenny’s house. The helicopter had moved on, leaving the area awash in radio squawks and slamming car doors.

“It was when they started talking about my writing that kind of pushed me over the edge.”

“Kind of?”

Fenny held out her hands and shrugged.

“Yeah. Fair cop. I went crazy.”

“You won’t get off on a temporary insanity plea, Fen. Second-degree murder. Maybe third-degree murder, with a good attorney.”

“You’re a good defense attorney,” Fen said, gazing at her brother.

“I can’t defend you. Not a good idea, anyway. Besides, I know better defense attorneys than me.”

“I bow to your expertise.”

Jarod decided to pour himself a whiskey. He further decided to pour a glass full of whiskey so he wouldn’t have to get up and refill his glass.

“So, what about your writing? You’re very successful, according to sales and reviews and all that. What could they possibly say to make you kill them?”

“First, it wasn’t just the way they talked about my career. It was everything. Roger becoming distant and cold. The affair. My writing.

“But it was the way they talked about ‘Eden in the Rearview Mirror’ that caused me to pull the trigger.”

“Six times, Fen.”

“Six times.”

Jarod’s phone buzzed again, and he quickly got up and went into the kitchen.

“Uh huh. Hard to say. Yeah, she seems calm. Not yet, no. I don’t know…soon enough. You can’t rush these things, you know. Just hold off. Trust me…I know, I know. Uh huh.”

“Cops again?”

“Yeah. They want blood.”

“I hope that’s figurative, Jarod.”

“Yes, not real blood. Just you being led away in handcuffs.”

“They’ll get me, in due time.”

Jarod shuddered. It was nightmarish stuff for him, his only sister and best friend being led away to face the rest of her life in prison.

“But not yet, Fen.”

“No, not yet. I still have to tell you the important part.”

**************

“Eden in the Rearview Mirror” sold 300,000 hardback copies, and twice that many in paperbacks. The audio book release pushed sales over one million; Fenchurch “Fenny” Callaghan became an American literary giant, seemingly overnight, and a millionaire to boot.

**************

“The important part is in your hands.”

Jarod looked at the cover of the book. It was simple: a close shot of the interior of a car, showing the rearview mirror and a sunglassed face reflected in the mirror. Polished nails showed on the steering wheel. The horizon appeared to be desert and barbed wire.

“I really don’t get it.”

Jarod eyed his sister with fondness and irritation. This was nothing new; Fenchurch had a distinct talent for bringing out both emotions in Jarod.

“Did you read the book?”

“Yes, of course.”

“Did you understand it?”

“Well…yes. I think so.”

Fenny shook her head and smiled.

“You didn’t. You’re like Roger. Neither of you understand literature.”

“Ok, I plead guilty. But I read it. Isn’t it about a woman who had the perfect life until her divorce, and then she had to make it on her own?”

“Sort of.”

“Well, that’s the gist of it.”

“Subtext. Themes. Sub-themes. Allegory. Allusion. All that stuff told the real tale.”

“I don’t understand hardly any of that, Fen.”

“I think the Garden of Eden story is an allegory.”

“Hmm. Sure, I can see that. But…”

“But I modified that, made it very secular. When we look back on the so-called good old days, we remember them fondly, in general. The truth is that the good old days are no better than the present. We think we lived in a paradise of sorts. Jessie, my main character, realizes this as she struggles to make a new life for herself. Her money is gone, her house is gone, her security is gone. Paradise lost.”

“Doesn’t she die at the end?”

“Yes. But that was her triumph. She died, but she found her personal paradise.”

“Didn’t a snake bite her? In the desert?”

Fenny nodded.

“Yes. With an Apple computer in her lap, under a tree. Get it?”

“No.”

Fenny scoffed.

“Symbolism. Serpent. Apple. Tree. Death.”

Jarod’s eyes opened wide; he saw what Fenny had been trying to tell him all these years.

“Ah! Damn, Fenny. Damn damn damn.”

“But that’s not the important part.”

Jarod sighed. He thought that had to have been the important part.

“Is the important part coming any time soon?”

“Sure. Call the cops back and tell them we’re coming out in fifteen minutes.”

Jarod eyed his sister suspiciously.

“You sure?”

“Yeah. It’s time to get to the east of Eden.”

**************

Jarod put his phone away and waited. Fenny was lighting another cigarette and swallowing whiskey at an impressive and disturbing rate. Jarod didn’t say anything about this. He would have done the same thing had he been in her position.

“I’ve become Harper Lee,” Fenny said. Her voice had softened, taken on the tone of butterscotch clouds.

“Don’t know him.”

“Her.”

“Don’t know her.”

“You should. You had to read her book sophomore year in high school.”

“Ok, remind me.”

“’To Kill a Mockingbird.’”

“Oh! Yeah. I saw the movie instead of reading it.”

“The important part isn’t the book. It’s the author.”

“Her.”

“Yes. She wrote ‘Mockingbird,’ and it was amazing. Instant classic. Won the Pulitzer.”

“Ok.”

“And that was it. Harper Lee never published another book.”

“I hear what you’re saying, but how is this the important part? You say you’ve become her. I don’t see that.”

“Roger saw that. He made a very uncouth comment about my career. Said that I blew my wad with ‘Eden,’ and that I was finished as an author.”

“Yeah? What does he know?”

Fenny refilled her glass with a different whiskey. An Irish whiskey, aged fourteen years. Roger, she felt, never appreciated the good stuff.

“He was right. That’s what sent me into a rage. He knew, and I suspect he knew that I knew. It’s been seven years since I wrote ‘Eden.’ I can’t seem to write anything of value now. Not since ‘Eden.’ I try and try and try, but nothing works.”

“Give it time, sis. You have talent.”

“Do I? I think I’m a one-hit wonder that got lucky with an idea. It’s been preying on my mind for years. Seriously. This gun? Roger’s gun? You don’t know how many times I’ve stuck it in my mouth and wanted to pull the trigger.”

Jarod gasped and paled. He suddenly felt cold and weak.

“Fen! No! Not my little…”

“It’s the truth. ‘Eden in the Rearview Mirror’ is in the rearview mirror. Nothing ahead for me but desert. And that’s ok, bro. Prison will be ok.”

Jarod felt his chest constrict and his breathing become shallow. He forced himself to take deep gulps of air to try to steady himself. The revelations from Fenny had his head spinning on an uneven axis, his thoughts tumbling on unsteady ground. Her words made sense, but they were words that exploded, destroying a part of him.

“Prison will suck, Fen.”

“That’s ok, too. It’s all ok.”

“I...I just…I don’t…”

“I can’t live in this world any longer, Jarod. I can’t see myself being whole, not after ‘Eden.’ Not after killing Roger and Alicia. God was right. One can never return to Eden.”

“Dammit, Fen! And damn Eden!”

Jarod was stumbling towards his sister, wanting to hug her. She pushed him away.

“Time to give the cops their reward. Let’s go,” Fenny said, putting the gun down and opening the front door. She went out with her hands raised, dropping to her knees at the bottom of the steps.

Jarod watched the events unfold as if from a distance. He couldn’t feel anything.

Fenny looked back at him before being put in a squad car.

“The desert can be beautiful, too. Don’t forget that.”

The long night ended, and the neighborhood returned to normal in a few hours. Jarod went home and wept. Fenny sat in her cell, demanding pencil and paper.

She had a story to write.