Y: I think we should pretend we’re
coworkers while we’re quarantined.
We’ll have our own offices and we’ll
communicate only through text.
I think it’ll keep us sane and won’t
make us hate each other by the
end of this.
M: Babe, I’m in the next room.
I can hear you typing.
Y: Exactly. We’re coworkers now,
just until the virus goes away.
M: I do have a lot of work to do.
Y: Perfect! So I’ll be in the study and
you can be in the living room.
M: But, wait, I’m hungry.
Y: Ok, let me take a look at my calendar.
Yes, I can squeeze you in this afternoon,
we’ll do lunch.
Y: Can you believe that Nina brought
peanut butter brownies when she
knows that David has a peanut
M: What are you talking about,
Y: I’m creating other coworkers,
like we work in a big office
building with cubicles!
M: Ok, um yeah Nina is the
Y: Well, calm down, she did come
to my bridal shower.
M: Wow, somebody plugged up
the toilet on the first floor
Looks pretty bad, yikes
Y: Honey, that was you
You should probably clean that up
before Richard sees.
M: I thought we were making
up stuff! Having a little back
Y: Well you did not make up that
clogged toilet! Other people
have to use that, homey.
M: We don’t have a janitor in
Y: You know we had to fire Janet.
These budget cuts have been brutal.
M: It’s kind of scary how good
you are at this.
Okay, where’s the plunger?
Y: It’s in the supply closet.
M: Good morning! Has the
coffee hit yet?
Y: We’re getting there but really
there’s never enough caffeine!
M: So true! I’m on my second
You think I could slip in
there and share my
presentation before I give it
to Richard at 10?
Y: I’m actually finishing up this
spreadsheet right now and I have
a meeting with David at 9
But I’m sure it’s great!
M: Really? I can’t come see
Okay, have a good meeting
Y: Article Link: The Virus Is Spreading!
I read this during lunch
It sounds like it’s gonna get
worse before it gets better.
M: Oh god, it’s surpassed
humans as carries and
polluted the air! Did you see
they said we have to close
all the windows and doors?
Did you close all the
windows and doors?
Y: Yeah, I did
I just don’t get how we’re supposed
to know if we have it or not. Like the
people who have it haven’t shown any
symptoms and we can’t leave to get
M: People don’t exactly know
what it looks like for the
infected but we're okay.
Y: Okay, you’re right
But we should get back to work.
M: Yeah, Richard would not
sympathize with this. I
think he’s part robot!
Y: Is my music too loud?
M: No, it’s perfect
I love this song
M: I thought this was weird
when you suggested it but
I think it’s actually worked
Like we’ve been so
focused on work that we
haven’t been stressing
about the virus and we
also haven’t gotten in each
And we just “come home”
at the end of the night
and can just be together
Y: Couldn’t have said it better!
But I have to finish this up before the
deadline and I have a huge headache
Tracey is breathing down my neck!
M: Yeah, Tracey’s really been
on one this week! Like it’s
almost time to clock out,
M: Sorry, I’ll see you for
Y: Maybe we should have had lids
then it wouldn’t just be the two
of us all the time. We could focus
on them instead of our work and
not hating each other while under
M: Babe, I’m actually on a
conference video call
right now for my actual
M: Really thought you wanted
tupperware there. But you
know how long I’ve said I
I just stopped because I
thought I would lose you
if I pushed too hard.
Y: I was just thinking about it. All the
picture frames on my desk are you
and my parents and Abby. Which are
nice but I stopped in to check up on
Nina and her picture frames were full
of all her kids. It was really nice.
M: Are you saying we should
Maybe we should have this
Y: I’ll do you one better
I’m kind of hungry, I could take
an early lunch…
M: I’m starving, let’s go
M: I can’t stop thinking about
this morning, it was like
another side of you
I love you, babe
Y: I love you too but Rebecca’s noticing
and has said she would call HR if you
didn’t ease up a bit.
M: Becky? Come on, she loves me!
I’m always joking with her at
the water cooler!
Y: Well, sometimes it’s just uncomfortable
for some people.
M: Babe? Some people?
Y: Let's not do this. I have a headache.
I’ll see you later, I’m making soup
M: Article Link: It’s Getting
I’m getting worried, it’s
turning people and all
without a trace.
Y: All we can do is stay inside though.
And we have each other.
M: I just wish these people
didn’t have to die.
Y: But they’re not dying, hun. They’re
M: I don’t think this is a good
time for your hippie hocus-pocus
crap. The number is justcgetting
Y: Maybe we shouldn’t look at the news
for a while? Take a break?
M: All we seem to be doing is
taking a break. Can’t we just
work in the same room or talk
in person for a bit?
It’s just a lot right now.
Y: I have so many emails to answer right
now. But maybe I’ll meet you by the
water cooler later?
M: We don’t actually have a water
cooler. Would that be the
Y: I’m sorry to do this over text.
M: Oh no, am I being fired?
Y: Honey, I’m so sorry but I’m leaving
you. I’ve fallen in love with David and
we’re running away together.
M: Wow, someone’s dramatic.
Haha, okay you got me.
Y: I’m serious. Being in the next cubicle
over has made us very close.
M: Babe, what are you talking
about? This isn’t a good joke.
Y: He’s asked me to marry him and I’ve said
yes. Of course, you and I will need to get
a divorce. I’ve emailed you the forms.
M: I checked my email - you
actually sent me divorce
papers! What’s going on??
Y: Don’t make this harder than it already is.
I loved you but now that love’s in the past
M: You’re not in the study and the
window’s open. Where are
We’re still under quarantine!
The virus is only getting worse!
M: I’m not leaving to go find you.
But I will wait for you here.
M: How could you just leave like
that? And during a pandemic?
And for a made-up man named
David with a peanut allergy??
M: The news is saying the virus
has a drug-like effect on
people. Thoughts and acts of
grandeur. But it pitters out and
attacks their lungs then their
M: I can help your heart. Come
home. Richard is asking where