Top Ten Moments That Lead to This One

Ten: When you met Dad

Thanksgiving the year your parents had that business trip, remember? Even though we were sixteen, they still thought you were too young to be alone, Claire's dorm didn't have enough room for three, and you had nowhere else to go. Dad had just married Isa and gained two stepkids, and was only there because deep down, he knew he still loved me. Mom was drunk fifteen minutes in (a personal record: normally it would have been five) and rambling about all the men hanging off her arms. You just squeezed my hand under the table and we made the best of it. And at the end of the night, Dad called you charming and well mannered, shook your hand, and told you to look out for me. You promised you would, eyes sparkling, and that's when I knew I loved you.

Nine: My bat mitzvah

Mom uprooted my life and dragged me to Queen City around six months after the divorce with Dad was finalized. In the midst of the turmoil, I had been studying and working and planning with Mom so this one thing could go right (this was before she developed her drinking problem--though I do recall her sneaking sips of a flask after the ceremony). Except it didn't go right. I invited everyone in homeroom, excited for the party, excited to share my culture, excited to make friends. But when the big day came, you were the only one who showed up. You came up to me after the ceremony and held out a small present wrapped in purple paper (even then, you knew my favorite color), smiled, and said, "You were really cool up there! Thanks for inviting me." I thanked you and opened it. There was a bracelet with our names spelled out in beads. You pulled back your sleeve to reveal a matching one. You hugged me after I put the bracelet on, grinning, and we held our wrists next to each others. We spent the rest of the party laughing and eating knishes and rugelach as my world slowly stopped crumbling around me.

Eight: Moving to Cleveland

There are so many good things about this memory, I don't know where to begin. That moment we first entered our little studio? The road trip from Queen City to Cleveland, where you sang to the radio in your angelic voice as we made our escape? Curling up around each other in the back seat of that ugly old Saturn while we rested in the McDonald's parking lot? You setting down your guitar and immediately exploring the two rooms in our apartment? Or the way you picked me up and kissed me when you were finished and whispered, "This is home, Talia," then set me down and went to unpack?

Seven: Our first kiss

I'll be the first to admit it was a cliche. It was pouring out, and we'd both forgotten our umbrellas. Your parents were on another business trip (surprise, surprise), meaning I could escape Drunk Mom and Faceless Drunk Asshat #100 or so. So, we ran, hand in hand, to your house, laughing all the way. We stepped inside, soaking wet, hung up our coats, and left our shoes by the door. You led me up to your room and gave me some clothes to borrow until I had to go home. We sat on your bed together and did homework, and when we were finished, we talked about school and how dumb our parents are while you plucked riffs from Girl in Red songs. From time to time, I'd sing a few lines with you, and we'd smile like we were keeping the best secret in the world. At 4:30, I packed up my stuff because, while Mom wouldn't care if I was gone till midnight, her laissez-faire styled parenting meant that if I wasn't home in time to cook, I wouldn't eat. You gave me an umbrella and waved goodbye as I walked out the door. I reached the corner that would lead to the next street before I heard you screaming to wait. I watched as you caught up to me. "You forgot something," you gasped, trying to catch your breath. I opened my mouth to ask what it was, but you were already under the umbrella, arms around my waist. You tilted your head down to kiss, me, but our noses bumped into each other. We laughed softly and you tried again. This time, your lips met mine, and for a moment, everything was perfect. You pulled away, smiling, told me you'd see me tomorrow, and started running back home. I swear to God, even with your hair and clothes dark and plastered to your skin, you were the most beautiful girl I had ever seen.

Six: My 18th birthday

Even though your parents had only kicked you out a month ago. Even though you still called them every night because you couldn't fathom how the two people who were supposed to love you more than anything could cast you aside. You still managed to push through all the sadness and give me the best birthday gift ever. I couldn't have asked for a better night than sitting on the roof of our car, sipping slushies, munching on cupcakes, and staring at the stars.

Five: Our song

It had been a long day at work. Every day was long, of course, with Cassidy talking down to me and rude customers being rude customers. But, that day, I'd been fired because I'd been caught snapping at Cassidy that day, though no one ever seemed to hear the slew of slurs and misogynistic comments he threw my way. I'd eased open the door, searching for a way to break the news to you gently. You were sitting on our bed, preparing to record a song. You waved to your viewers, smiling. "Hey, y'all. This is for my girlfriend, Talia. Love you, baby." You began to strum your guitar, smiling softly at it. Then you sang and sang, and even though you were recording it, it felt like you were singing to me and me alone. When you finished and said goodbye to your viewers, I began to clap for you. You jumped, laughed, and came over to give me a kiss. The day's events melted away, and I felt like the luckiest woman in the world.

Four: Your sister's wedding

Your parents were there, of course. But we'd thought about it and talked to Claire, and she promised to deal with them if they harassed us during our trip. So, we packed our bags and drove back to Queen City two days before Claire's wedding. The ceremony was beautiful. They held it in the park by Mom's house and you could tell that Claire and her husband were in love. Afterwards, we made our way back to your parent's house. All Claire's friends, along with the two of us, filed into the back yard, where Claire turned and tossed her bouquet over her shoulder. You caught it and turned to me, smiling, and I knew we'd be together for the rest of our lives.

Three: That day in December, right after I got my new job waitressing at the diner a block away

When I got home, you were fast asleep, probably from staying up all night songwriting. You look so beautiful in the glow of the lamplight, chewing your pencil as you write and erase and smile slightly at your notebook. You really shouldn't do that very often, though. Anyway, I climbed under the covers beside you and continued reading the latest treasure I'd found at the library. You rolled over in your sleep and rested your head in my lap. I put my arm around you, and we stayed like that for hours.

Two: The year we went to look at Christmas lights for the first time

We don't really celebrate Christmas. I'm Jewish, and the holiday reminds you of your parents too much. But, the year after we moved here, we decided to walk around and look at Christmas displays. Why? Even we don't know. So, we trudged through our part of the city, hand in hand, noses buried in our scarves, to admire the warm, bright lights and blow up Santas. After we looked at storefronts for a bit, we got hot chocolate from Starbucks and walked into the candy store across the street to grab some treats for our Tim Burton marathon. It had been so much fun, we made it a tradition. In fact, I'm standing outside that same candy store, reading this.

One: The day we met

I was ten when my parents separated, almost twelve when the divorce was finalized, and twelve and a half when Mom uprooted my life and dragged me from Dallas to Queen City. I was angry and confused, and I wanted nothing more than to make it through my first day at this new school without speaking to anyone. So, naturally, Mrs. Anderson decided to have me introduce myself in front of the class. Every kid's worst nightmare. My legs were shaking as I stood to go to the whiteboard. I wiped my hands on my skirt a few times and started telling myself a story to calm my racing heart. Then, I turned to face the class, and I saw you sitting in the middle of the room. You were the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen. You smiled and gave me a thumbs up, and all my nerves melted away. My life was still crumbling around me, but I'd found something to look forward to. A life spent by your side.

These moments all led up to where we are today. I don't know what I'd ever do without you. So, Olivia, light of my life for twelve years, will you marry me?