A Sweet Tooth

A Sweet Tooth

“Now I know why people hate me!”

“Why do people hate you, Cathy?”

“Because I don’t have a sweet tooth and I like savoury food.”

“So what has sweet and savoury food got to do with hate, for goodness sake?”

“If you eat sweet food like you do, Maria, you have a sweet disposition, and then people love you. If you eat savoury/ spicy food like me, you are: judgemental, manipulative, unhelpful, insensitive, anti-social and bordering on the psychopathic, the list grows.”

“Where did you find all that out, about your qualities?”

“On the foodology website. I mean, someone said to me recently, in the office, ‘What’s not to like about chocolate?’ This was because I declined the offer of a chocolate at the coffee dispenser, saying, ‘ thank you but I don’t eat chocolates.’ That set me off, doing some research.

“What are you going to do about yourself then?”

“Maybe I should eat some Fugu, it is supposed to be more deadly than cyanide. Then I won’t be worrying about why Joseph doesn’t like me. He does not like me, Maria, I know it and I don’t know how to change this, because I know he is the one for me!”

“Eating Fugu won’t help you, you have to make another plan, to live and make love! Think up a way for Joseph to sit up and take notice of you! Do you know if he has any hobbies, or special interests?”

“I heard him tell Fred the other day that he watches the ‘Great British Bake Off’ and that he often bakes at home.”

“Cathy, I’ve got a good idea, we can arrange a ‘ Cookie Exchange’ party and invite Joseph along with other people from the office. It ‘s holiday time soon and they will all appreciate having a load of cookies in their kitchen cupboards, ready for the festive season.”

“Then I will be baking stuff I don’t like to eat myself. Give me a samosa instead of a cookie, any day. Having a cookie party is a bit manipulative don’t you think?”

“Come on let’s do it! It’ll give you a chance to see Joseph up close.”

The paper invitations went out, to ten of their colleagues and every one of them accepted . It was a good way to start celebrating the traditional Christmas and New year festivities.

“Hey! Good idea having a Cookie Exchange Cathy, and the themes of Christmas and New Year combined, gives us a lot of scope.”

Getting noticed by Joseph already! Cathy winked across the table at Maria. They were drinking coffee in the office canteen.

They put up Christmas decorations all over the veranda and hall way. They strung lights across the garden fence and made garlands of dried flowers to hang up on the front door.

“I’ve got lots of artificial mistletoe, you can catch Joseph under a sprig or two.”

“Maria, I’ve been thinking of adding something to the equation. I have my grandmother’s recipe for a love potion. I will put some of it in a few cookies and see what happens. I can experiment on Joseph and see if it works.”

Cathy found the recipe amongst some papers in an old file of recipes and mixing it up added it to part of the biscuit mix. She marked the twelve cookies with a special icing pattern, keeping them to one side, apart from the plain ones.

Serving the punch in tall glasses , she handed out plates of cookies .

“Take the one in the centre, Joseph, I made it myself with the decoration of red berries and leaves. It is a special recipe handed down from my grandmother” (nothing if not honest!).Passing the plate to Joseph she was taken aback when she saw a hand flash across the plate grabbing the biscuit meant for Joseph. The hand popped the biscuit whole into a mouth. It was Mavis. Oh! what was going to happen now? She watched with amazement as Mavis drew Joseph towards her, kissing him on the lips, laughing and pointing up to the mistletoe hanging from the door post. Tucking her hand into his elbow, Mavis pulled him over to the sofa, sitting down next to him, as close as she could get.

Just then, she watched with horror as Mandy walked out of the kitchen carrying the cookie jar with the other doctored cookies, that she had hidden on the top shelf.

“ Hey guys look what I found in the kitchen, Cathy was hiding some of her stuff away and they look so delicious. 

“ Have one,” she said, offering the jar to Fred on whose arm hung his longstanding girlfriend, Lee Anne. Fred looked at Mandy and started stroking her bare arm. Lee Anne frowned and pushed his hand away with a slap.

Someone grabbed the jar and passed it around.

Next, Elizabeth latched on to Paul, hanging around his neck and looking at him with goofy eyes. It really turned Cathy’s stomach to see it, because only last week, Elizabeth had called Paul a nerd, to his face. Behind his back she had said worse things about him. She saw Maria disappear into the kitchen and followed her. She found her next to the fridge, doubled up with laughter.

“Not funny Maria, it has all gone wrong! Do you think it will wear off? This has turned into a kissing party, like ‘Postman’s Knock’ but everyone is kissing the wrong person. Have you seen what Tayler and Monica are up to?

Lee Anne is furious with Fred. Fred is furious with Lee Anne because he sees her as spoiling his fun.

The only happy couple seems to be Elizabeth and Paul with Mavis and Joseph running a close second. I am going to do something!”

Cathy reverted to the party. Holding up a hand she said,

“ I have an announcement. We are going to give half of our cookies to an NGO in Claremont that looks after homeless people. The base in Claremont says the residents will be thrilled to have a visit from us and will enjoy getting a Christmas present of any kind but especially a parcel of 300 cookies.

I don’t want to hear any objections from any of you. See you all on the 19^th at 10am at 48 Rose Street , Claremont.

“I will drive you there on Saturday, Cathy and help you deliver. I can also add a few extra dozen cookies for the Home.”

Cathy looked with surprise at Joseph who had disentangled himself from Mavis.

“Thanks Joseph . Very kind of you. She felt her pulse quicken as he looked into her eyes. There was a hint of amusement lurking in his.

“ You are quite manipulative, you know Cathy, first in hosting the party and then organizing for half of the cookies to be given away.”

“Yes I know it. The reason is because I do not have a sweet tooth. I cannot help it. I’m sorry!”

“What? I don’t understand what you are talking about. As for being sorry, I actually like manipulative people. They are far more fascinating than the other kind . And this is my own decision-making, I didn’t eat one of your special cookies!”

Was he suspicious do you think?