An Extremely Successful Dinner Where Nothing Bad Happens

When I imagined dinner with a colony of water spirits, this is not what I imagined. I had sculpted in my mind a gorgeous, moonlit river filled with lily pads, lotus flowers and sparkling blue water. I would ride out in a beautiful raft with my mother, being guided towards a beautiful, lantern lit river city. The spirits would braid my hair, feed me grilled rainbow fish and take me for a midnight swim in the calm waters. Not so. Instead, we were cloistered inside the stuffy castle, glancing uncomfortably at each other while our guests glared around at the sparkling walls as if they wanted to tear all of the decorations off and burn them.

At least the spirits looked as beautiful as imagined. They each had long white hair with iridescent streaks, big black eyes, multicolored scales on their necks, hands and faces, and small pointy fangs lining their mouths. The small spirits, most likely children, looked suspiciously at the multicolored pitchers of drinks that were placed on the table. The bigger kids slowly drank the various juices, but the small children looked to their parents for permission. But the adults accompanying them didn’t even look at their glasses. Many were only interested in the giant water wall filled with multi-colored fish behind my father and mother’s thrones. We clearly didn’t prepare for our waterside guests properly. My father, King Theodore, cleared his throat as he addressed the table.

“As you know, we have gathered here tonight to discuss the Treaty between the Kingdom of Eladell and the Riverside Tribes. The... incident has been going on for the last six months, and we have drafted a treaty that we think would be reasonable..” The head of the Tribe, Lady Raiko, lazily spun her fingers in her water glass.

“Yes yes, we know why you’ve dragged us all from our home to your charming little castle. Let’s just get on with it.” I saw my mother, Queen Margaret, glaring hard at the woman. She set her wine glass down with more force than necessary.

“You dare to disrespect us in our own house?” Lady Raiko puts her hand to her scaled chest in mock innocence.

“Oh no, I mean no disrespect Your Majesty. But my family needs to get back home soon. There’s corpses to tally up, soldiers to attend to, refugees to take care of. You know, typical things for a royal to preside over.” The rest of her family tensed up as the fish tank bubbled behind us. My father pursed his lips.

“There have been many casualties on our side as well. Many soldiers have been killed and families have been torn apart. That is why this meeting is happening in the first place.” My older brother Fredrick nodded in agreement, clenching his fork in his hand.

“If it weren’t for you, we wouldn’t have this mess in the first place!”

“Fredrick, that’s enough!” Father shouted.

“No! They didn’t have to attack! What happened at their shrine was a misunderstanding and we would’ve been happy to help fix it.” He jabbed a finger in Lady Raiko’s direction. “But what would we expect from a bunch of savages like you? You always respond with violence, no matter the situation!” The water spirit next to Raiko, probably one of her sons, flashed his fangs at Fredrick.

“Don’t you dare insult my mother or my people, you had no right to intrude on our sacred space! Do you know how many people’s graves I helped dig because of your people rampaging through my home, taking whatever you wanted?” A small boy on Raiko’s other side snorted with annoyance.

“Of course they don’t know, they’re only concerned with whatever’s going on in their own little bubble.” The boy picked his cup of grape juice and pompously sipped it, “As long as they keep disrespecting our lands, we’ll never stop killing each other.” 

“And that’s why we’re having this meeting.” I jumped in quickly, “As my Father said, we’re here to try to make peace with each other. We’ve both made mistakes in dealing with this war, and in general with ruling our kingdoms.” Lady Raiko gave me a little smile as her sons glared warily at me. I smoothed my dress down and continued, “I’m not very familiar with the way the world works, and I can only offer what I dream the world will be in the future. But can we try to get closer to peace without any fighting...Please?” There was another silence. I twisted my hands in my skirts as I waited for their reaction. Lady Raiko finally broke the tension, smiling at her sons.

“Come now Phineas, Dealamigos, you heard the girl.” she said in a motherly tone, “The sooner we hear out this Treaty, the sooner we can leave.” The older son, Dealamigos, slowly sat back down in his chair, still glaring daggers at Fredrick. Phineas flushed slightly, his scales turning slightly pinker as he drank his juice. 

Mother took up a small bell at her side and rang it a few times. The kitchen door opened and out poured the servants. In perfect formation, they came forward and placed vast trays of food on the large wooden table. My mouth watered as I smelled buttery lobster, circles of shrimp, roasted chicken, and expertly grilled fish. Accompanying  them were colorful tossed salads, baked fruit drizzled with sauces, roasted vegetables, little tea cakes with miniature sugar sculptures on top.

Father gestured to all of the food. “Please, help yourself. I’m sure you’re familiar with some of the food.” The spirits looked down at the food curiously. Phineas rolled his eyes.

“All of this food is from the ocean.” he said annoyed, “We’re River spirits. So no, we don’t know what any of this food is.” The rest of Lady Raiko’s entourage snorted with laughter while my servants flushed. The rest of us just picked up the trays and served ourselves. I was just scooping another helping of baked fruit on my plate when I glanced at the older son. He appeared to be looking down at the table, but I saw his dark eyes looking curiously at the plate of bright orange shrimp. I subtly pushed the platter over to him with an encouraging nod. He raised his eyebrows as I set down the fruit bowl and pushed that over to him as well.

“Why thank you, Princess.” he said sarcastically.

“You’re most welcome, Elder Son.” I responded with a little smirk. He huffed out a little laugh before scooping shrimp and fruit onto his plate. Father snapped his fingers at a servant who was carrying a final tray. 

“Please present the treaty to Lady Raiko.” The servant took the rolled paper from underneath the tray and shakily handed it to her.

“This Treaty, drafted by King Theodore, details the obligations that both the Riverside Tribes and the Kingdom of Eladell must follow completel. If any one of these conditions are broken, then the wronged side is free to resume conflict with the opposing kingdom. The first condition is that the…” Lady Raiko trailed off, her eyes narrowing as she read the rest of the Treaty. Some of the guards leaned in to read as well, adopting the same facial expressions as their queen. I swallowed my fruit nervously.

“Oh Father, what did you do?” I whispered to myself. Lady Raiko threw down the Treaty on her plate and glared at my father. 

“Absolutely not, I will never agree to that.”

“What’s wrong with it?” Frederick growled. Raiko glared at him.

“The problem with your treaty, boy, is that it’s completely unreasonable. You expect my people to be okay with this?” She picked the Treaty up and read it again, “The Riverside Tribes must pay reparations to the families of fallen soldiers. Rates will start at five thousand amethyst for each household, and will increase if the death toll increases.” I gasped and dropped my water glass onto the table.

“Father how could you?” I asked vehemently, “You told me you wouldn’t write that into the Treaty! Why did you lie to me?” Mother frantically shook her head at me.

“Eva, compose yourself!”

“No Mother, why did Father lie? You know it’ll take centuries for them to pay that, the tribe will be absolutely destroyed!” Father slammed his fist on the table, silencing me immediately.

“I knew I shouldn’t have let you in this meeting. You’re too damned soft for politics, you’d never be able to rule alongside anyone!” He snapped his fingers to the guards near the doors. “Guards, escort Princess Eva to the hall until dinner is over. She’s not fit for these meetings.” I snatched my arm away from the guard, my voice getting louder and louder. 

“This is why the Tribes are so angry with us! Like they said, we keep taking and taking and never give them a chance to try and fix things with us! This is why we’re always at war!” The guards succeeded in dragging me away from the table and tossed me out in the hall. One of the guards handed me my plate and closed the door behind him. The guards down the hall watched me closely as I continued to eat my food. My sad dinner was punctuated with the yelling and furious snarls of my parents and very unhappy dinner guests. I sighed as I heard a small smashing sound in the room. Yep, it was safe to say that this meeting was a complete failure. 

A few moments later, Dealamigos walked through the doors and plopped down on the floor across from me. He growled softly as he attacked a piece of coconut cake, his claws half out and his eyes looking furious.

“I’m guessing you were kicked out, Elder Son Dealamigos?” I asked quietly.

“How could you tell, Dear Princess Eva?” He said. We both said nothing, just breathing frustratedly and stuffing food into our mouths. “By the way, your older brother might have a few more scratches on him.” I glared up at Dealamigos.

“Are you serious?”

“Hey, he’s the one who cut himself on the glass. I just happened to gently toss it his way.” He gestured to a small cut on his face, “And your brother decided to attack me too. I just call what I did karma.” I groaned and buried my face in my hands.

“Why does this always happen? Every time we meet up with someone, everyone wants to fight each other! We can never just talk to one another and try to sort out our problems, it’s just more yelling and fighting and shouting!” Another chorus of yells from the dining hall cemented my point. Dealamigos sighed as well.

“My mother doesn't know what she’s doing either. She was forced into being our Queen when my grandfather died, and that was when she was still a child! She just wanted a peaceful life where she could get married, have babies and just be a mom. Now she’s a queen, a mom, and a diplomat…” He took another bite of coconut cake, wiping the shredded coconut off his cheek. “And when she’s all done with work, she has to deal with me and Phineas. And I’m pretty sure you can tell that Phineas isn’t an easy child.” I adopted a mock thinking expression.

“Hmm, I think I could tell. Him insulting my family gave me a pretty good indicator.” He huffed out a laugh. But the happiness soon slipped from his face.

“I just wish I could be King. I have so many plans about what to do and how to rule, but… I’m not old enough to join the meetings, and I definitely can’t become King yet.” Silence fell. The dining hall was finally quiet, so they either all killed each other or came to an agreement. I picked up my last two shrimp and offered it to the prince.

“Well talking to you now, I think you’ll be a great King for your people. You seem protective, smart and a lot more level-headed than the others. You’ll be a wonderful ruler.” Dealamigos’s eyes widened, but he gave me a little smile as he took my gift. He gently tore his piece of cake in half and handed it to me as well.

“I also look forward to seeing you on the throne as Queen in the future. You’re gonna be the peacemaker to end all peacemakers.” I took the cake, but didn’t put it on my plate yet.

“Cheers to being not-enemies, and being the best rulers of our Kingdoms.” Dealamigos tapped his shrimp against my cake.

“To being not-enemies and to be successful.” We both ate our peace offerings, reveling in the peaceful bond that was forged by wonderfully cooked shrimp and decadent coconut cake. 

The door suddenly burst open, along with another wave of screaming and shouting. The guards from the door immediately got into position in front of me, blocking my view of the river spirits leaving the hall. I adjusted my position just in time to see Lady Raiko’s guards carrying Phineas, who was screaming and writhing in their tight grip.

“You’ll pay for this Fredrick!” he screamed over the guard’s shoulder, “We’re gonna tear down this castle brick by brick if we need to! And your castle’s ugly anyway, so no one will care if we destroy it!” Frederick stormed forward, his hands covered in small cuts and his hair standing on end. He was also held back by the guards, but still managed to shout his insults.

“At least we have a castle! We’re not splashing in dirty water and worshipping trees like you backwater hicks!”

“What the hell did you say?!” Phineas beat on the guards back, screaming insults and incoherent curses until they finally turned the corner and faded from sight. Lady Raiko ran her hands wearily through her iridescent hair and turned back to my parents with a rueful smile.

“Well, I thank you for inviting us to your lovely home. But obviously, we will not sign the Treaty and we will not be coming back. Goodbye.” She snapped her fingers at her son. “Dealamigos, come. We’re not associating with these people anymore.” Dealamigos left his plate and stood to follow his mother. I gave him a wink from behind the guards, which he returned with a tiny smirk. But when he looked behind me towards the dining room, his eyes widened and he stifled a laugh. I turned around to see the dining room turned into a warzone. Food was all over the floor, there was shattered glass and thrown cutlery on the table and the servants were gingerly moving through the space, trying to clean up. My father was still standing in the doorway next to Fredrick, his face red and his eyes blazing with rage. Mother picked a few shards of glass from his beard and leaned against his shoulder, watching the Riverside Tribe loudly arguing as they exited the castle.

“So my King, it’s safe to say that our meeting wasn’t very successful.” All we could do was watch the Tribe leave, the prospect of more war, blood, death and suffering looming in the back of our minds and casting shadows on all our thoughts.