Silence

“It was time for me to change my life, my dreams and my goals.  When you reach 30 like I recently did, have four children between the ages of 5 and 12, you would stumble upon the same feelings.

So how did I change my life….I decided it was time for me to get a college degree.

Yes, I know what you’re probably thinking ….that’s absolutely crazy, it's hard enough balancing home and work as you’ve been doing for what seems eons.  When are you going to find time to study, attend classes with “kids” just out of high school.

But when I made up my mind to do something, a speeding train couldn’t stop me.  I absolutely loved eighteenth century literature and had already read the great books from Dickens to George Elliot.  So I signed up for a literature class at our local community college and promised my family that I wouldn’t let them down.  

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My first assignment was to read The Count of  Monte Cristo, the story of a sailor who is wrongfully imprisoned for treason by no other than his best friend.  After being imprisoned for 13 years, he escapes and finds an abandoned island, amassed with millions of dollars worth of jewels and pretends to be a count and takes revenge on the men who betrayed him.

Great, I thought to myself as I sat in a large lecture hall.  I can definitely handle this class.  I read the same book when I was in high school.

I soon learned that we not only had to read the book, but we had to compare the story to modern day issues where men and women could be sent to prison for crimes they did not commit.  

When I got home that night, I took out my laptop and got ready for a night of rereading the book and then drawing all the parallels to modern day issues.  

It was only seven o’clock when my two older sons came running into the living room and started wrestling with the TV remote.

“…..I want to watch “The Battle of the Beasts.  It starts in ten minutes.”

“....No shouted my other son, Michael.  Tonight's Monday and I always watch Criminal Minds.

Their bickering went on and on and I finally screamed at them to tuboth leave the room.  Can’t you see that I am studying here.  “Out...both of you.”

I had five minutes of peace and was just about ready to start the assignment when I heard my five year old reaking havoc in the kitchen. I want some cookies. I ate all my dinner and you proemised me I could have cookies. 

Well a promise is a promise and you can have your cookies but you have to eat them right here in the kitchen. And don't make a mess because I just finished cleaning in here and I have homework to do. That seemed to settle it and again I went back to my reading task.

Twenty minutes later my husband came into the room and turned on our stereo. Even with headphones over his ears, the sounds of rock and roll seemed to sweep through the room.

“Why don’t you go down and listen to your music in the basement.  I am trying to get my school work done. “

And the interruptions continued throughout the evening.  

“That’s it.  I need quiet.  I am going to go to the library where at least I know I can get some quiet.  So I left everyone behind to seek the silence that I knew I would find in the local library.  My thoughts went back to my childhood where going to the library meant it was so quiet, you could hear a pin drop.

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I chuckled when I thought of that library.  I remembered Ms. North...the old librarian with the deep frown on her face and her angry eyes glaring at us as soon as we walked through the front entrance.  

She would lift the pen on her desk and point to us….”don’t make a sound” or you will be asked to leave.  

“Yes Ms. North we will be very quiet and then my best friend Debbie and I would hide in the corner and mimicked Ms. North’s stern face and held our noses whenever we approached her...she tended to have terrible breath and ugly stained teeth.

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I approached the long line of book shelves, found a copy of the assigned book and enjoyed the feel of the book in my hands.

Miracles of miracles the library was a place of peace and quiet.  The main library room was furnished with cold wood  tables and matching chairs.  There was a section towards the back of the room where people could use the most up to date computers and a few printers.  I chuckled as I thought to myself that all libraries were designed to be uninviting for its patrons.   Why couldn’t they at least place a few comfortable arm chairs and plants to give it a homey look.

I found an open desk and began to read the first chapter of the book….

“…On the 24th of February, 1815 the watch tower of Notre-Dame de la Garde…..

I kept on reading these words over and over again and before I knew it my eyes slowly started to close.  

It is too quiet in this library for me.  This book is rather boring.  How was I going to finish reading this book….

I must try to stay awake and read,

“.....signalled the arrival of the three-master Pharaon, from Smyrna, Trieste, and Naples….

Suddenly I was jarred by a sound to the left of me.  Apparently I was not alone in the hypnotic silence.  An elderly man had fallen asleep reading his book.  His mouth was slightly ajar and I heard his snores quite clearly.

Then other sounds began to emanate from the whirring of the printers to the clicking of keys on the computers.

Next I observed a parent or teacher drilling a youngster in mathematics. Five times five is twenty five...six times six is thirty six and as the drill went on, the voices became louder and louder.  

Someone’s cell phone started 1chiming; the sound of a train passing through the room -- chooooooooo chooooooooooo!

I picked up my book and went to the checkout counter.  I took a long look around me and thought to myself, so much for quiet.

I finished my assignment and knew it would be a long time before I ever returned to the library.  Instead I learned to accept the solace I found in my noisy family.