Not Enough Time

Not Enough Time

By LaShawn Baker

It’s the day before nothing, nothing to do, nowhere to go, just nothing that can be more pressing than that nothing. Unless it’s something, something that requires time, energy, and nothing is no longer a factor, its time spent on others and not on self. In fact, throughout history life is never about the mother, the mom, the mommy, all terms used to move, control, and coax a mother to be, the savior. I am considered the finder of lost objects, the fixer of broken toys, and the earthly being that maintains the life of her family. In this life I find myself the mother of lost time. Time I cannot retrieve and reset. Only if I could stop time long enough to do everything my life requires of me.

My name is Jilla, but I am seldom called Jilla, it’s usually some endearment and I use that term loosely that beacons me to move from arresting state-of-mind of reaction to action.

Today was no exception to the rule. Before I could pour my second cup of coffee the phone rang and Edward/honey appeared, I knew my day was going to result in my doing more than I intended to. All though Edward’s name was hardly ever used, unless in anger he was affectionately she called him daddy or honey but lately I wanted to change it to scam likely.

Now fuming over my new to do list, I sat drumming the pen on the dining room table trying desperately to find out which task I could cross off until another day. I couldn’t help but swear a very expletive word. Jilla made a mental note to put a five-dollar bill in the swear jar because the words weren’t going to stop coming today. On second thought maybe a ten-dollar bill would be a better choice since her husband called requesting her to make a very extravagant meal for his boss and colleagues, of course it was already seven am and she still had to get the kids dressed, fed, and to school. However, in her mind time had already run out and 6 pm was already crashing down on her. The food was overcooked and scam likely was having a meltdown of epic portions.

Jilla morning started with preteen drama, when the eleven-year-old identical triblets decided it would be fun to dress in the same pink sweaters, white jeans, and white sneakers to play jokes on their friends. Not having the energy to fight them on they won round one because five-year-old Elaine decided she wanted to wear a tutu and cowboy boots and seven-year-old EJ (Edward jr.) refused to get up.

After packing lunches for the smaller children and she gave them their signature lunch bag Elaine got her pink mermaid with peanut butter, and jelly to prevent a melt day in her kindergarten class EJ of course had spiderman and the twins each claimed their multicolored brat back packs once claiming they were too big to carry a lunch bag and choose to purchase their lunch.

Jilla glanced at the clock and started hurrying them out the door. Elaine was first then EJ. The twins’ school was a preparatory fine arts school that offered the triplets everything for the gifted and talented.

Before she could kiss Elaine and EJ good- bye. Ema reminded her she had a parent teacher conference with their principal and math teacher because they switched places, so Ema could take her math test. That was at 830 am. Sighing heavily, she met her daughters’ eyes and whispered with tight lips “you’re both grounded for the next month. Turning up her radio to drown out their protests of how unfair she was being to them and why didn’t Ella every get in trouble? Before she could comment. Ella interjected well I am older by four minutes, which makes me the smartest and besides I don’t do things that would cost me my freedom by getting me grounded.” That comment was enough to cause an outbreak of voices bickering about everything and past and present. Snitching on who broke the crystal vase, who dug up the rose bushes to experimenting a new growth serum.

Jill shook her head and swore another curse word under and breath and told everyone hush before she decided to ground everyone but Cammy, who was more interested in her pink and yellow tutu than anything going around her. Jalen was on the other side of the world watching his iPad. *

Jill thoughts went through her list mentally, checking off everything she completed by noon. She still needed to go shopping and clean the clutter. Laundry would have to wait. She sat in her car waiting at the drop point for the triplets, upon seeing the principal she swore under her breath and parked her van in the visitors parking lot. The meeting took a little over an hour.

The principal and Math teacher gave Ema and Elizabeth detention for cheating, and she added another month to their restriction mentally adding cleaning chores, phones restriction, tv, and friends after learning the girls made it a habit of trading places during school time. Her anger was controlled, but her mind was screaming words her mother would have washed her mouth out with soap. She decided to increase her swear donations because this day wasn’t getting any better.

She started to feel overwhelmed with everything that was going on in her daily life and as she pulled up to the store her clock read 10:30 am. The open spot she wanted was swooped up by an old woman barely missing her of course she cursed mentally adding another ten to the swear jar. She started to lean on her horn when she realized that the woman should not be driving at all. Pulling off searching the parking lot for another spot. Unfortunately, the parking spot she found was further from the store. Grabbing her purse and she searched her purse for the shopping list. She quickly realized it was still on the countertop with her phone.

The dam broke and everything she had been holding in for the last few months rose to the service Her eyes filled with tears as she punched the screaming at the top of her lungs. She didn’t notice or care about the judging eyes of other patrons. LIFE her life was to much and she rested her head on the steering wheel and let the tears run free.

She screamed at the top of her lungs. “I am so over everything right now, I can’t take one more thing!

Jilla sat with her music blaring and the tears flowing. Singing, a made-up tune to Michael Jackson’s “Beat It” Life is totally not far. I think I had a nervous breakdown. Make the madness stop, give me more time, more time is all I need. Reaching for a napkin in her glove box she wiped the tears and mascara from her face. She whispered to the universe, “please can you let me have something go right.”

Once more Jilla closed her eyes and made a wish for time to just stop so she could just have everything done and she could rest. Oddly enough, she was still finding humor in her mental break down.

Laughing at her silly behavior she picked up her purse and opened her door to go into the store. Still making mental notes and adding to her swear donation she promised herself a “Mom Spa Day a whole state away.”

Jilla noticed a shiny coin just a few feet in front of her. Reaching down chanting please be lucky, chanting find a coin pick it up in her head, she accidently bumped into a couple holding hands. Still looking closely at the odd-looking two-sided coin. “Oh, Excuse me” she said to the couple standing so still gazing into each other’s eyes. Snorting under her breath young love adding but no need to be so rude. Still distracted, she made a quick list of the items she would need to get and then calculated the forty-five minutes it would take to prep the food and the hour for it to cook. So, if everything went according to her plan, she would be able to have the food prep done before picking up the kids. the house tidied up and that damn black suit would be hanging in the closet (Dang is not a curse word she said to herself}.

Jilla took a moment to place the coin and her purse and slowly took notice of the scene around her. Dropping her keys, water bottle and her purse she screamed in freight. Not one person, car, bird, dog or bug was moving. She couldn’t help herself she waved her hands in front of an elderly couple. Nothing, not even a blink, she took a risk and put her hand on her chest, “whew” he’s alive.

Jilla entered the store to encounter the same eerie scene where no one was moving. She glanced at the digital clock above the Customer Service desk that read 10:05 am.

Looking for her phone to check the time she remembered it was on the counter, but she was sure it too would read 10:05 am. What in the hell, {hell in the bible so it wasn’t a curse word}, her mind searched for an answer when she remembered her earlier outburst.

O..M..G this is my moment! Time has stopped the universe heard her and she jumped like her five-year-old. Tears quickly took over as she grabbed a shopping cart. She could not stop saying, “Thank you, oh thank you.” Gathering everything she needed she scanned every item surprised that it worked even with time frozen. Paying for her items she skipped again like a five-year-old to her car.

Placing everything in the back of the car amoungest triplets forgotten sports equipment. Mental note three thousand and forty hundred while fastening her seatbelt. She glanced at the time on the dashboard and smiled 10:05 am.

Driving through the still town she made it home in record time. OMG I can’t believe this! Lord, I don’t know why but thank you, thank you, I will use this time wisely.

Unloading the car of everything but the sports equipment.

Entering into her well lived in house, her name for her family clutter.

Seeing the forgotten phone she licked out her tongue, saying loudly I didn’t need you anyway. Putting away the items she purchased. Then without ceremony her ponytail went into a bun which meant it was time to get down and dirty literally.

Time ticked by in Jilla’s head, not sure when time would start again, she kept looking at her watch to make sure time was indeed frozen and it was, she smiled and again saying thank you.

By the time she finished she said, Better Homes and Garden take that. She kept watch on the still clock and continued to complete her huge mother do tasks. The triplet’s room was a mess of craziness she could not tell what- was -what and who it belonged to. Sorting their clothes she washed, dried, and replaced them in the closet.

Each task was completed with care and detail. She once again checked her watch and 10:05 am was still frozen.

Alexa, played Earth Wind and Fire 21st day of September followed by “This is how we do it” she danced around the kitchen completing the food preparation. Surprised, it went so smoothly not having to stop to referee, she was able to complete a weeks’ worth of meals, her dinner party meal and even her famous spaghetti casserole with meat balls for the kids.

Slipping into a hot bubble bath she washed, plucked, shaved, and soaked off all the stress she had been feeling. She was able to do a Mani Pedi and lay out her favorite little black dress {a size 18} she always laughs at the term little. Throwing on her yoga pants and long sleeve Prince t-shirt humming "When Doves Cry"

Picking up her car keys, purse, and making sure her phone was placed inside, she spotted the odd coin. Pulling it out she noticed writing on the coin. Pass me on when your day is done.

She read the words out loud and dropped it like it was red hot watching it roll to the garage door. Easing up on the coin like it was an extremely large bug she watched the words change.

"Drop me in the path of someone who needs a little more time. "

Smiling, the whispered her thank you for giving me more time. Picking the coin up and walked out the door heading to the dry cleaners.

Once again, the traffic was stopped, and she was able to make it there without any fuss. As she walked in, she saw a young mother, with three kids, all stair-steppers. Recognizing the young army wife she carefully placed the coin in front of her and hoped it would do for her what it did for her.

As soon as she released the coin time slowly began again but not at a rapid snapping motion it was like an old record being played at the slowest speed.

Her watch time now reads 10:45 am. By the time she picked up the black suit, thankful they had self-service. She was so relaxed she was happy that she was no longer the same person weeping in her car at 10:05 am.

Glancing once again at her watch she found time had moved faster and it was now 2:30 pm and she saw the cars moving at a normal pace she eased back into traffic to pick up Ellaine and EJ and

the triplets.

The End