Intro:
By the time I stepped outside, the leaves were on fire. Burnished gold, ember red, delicate brown and just a speck of green. My favourite tree, an enormous silky oak has surprised me again. I stand with a kind of reverence, as I go down memory lane. Whatever our problems, the oak tree is a constant reminder of strength and beauty. All my troubles seem to melt when I see her. She is back to her old ‘mother hen’ tricks, and I respond as of old, with adoration.
I had grown up with that tree. In those early days, the garden was sparse, but the oak in the back yard was my favourite. One of Dad’s patients gave him a small oak branch in a pot, an offshoot of his own tree. It looked as fragile as Dad felt, for at the time, in the ‘sixties there was an outbreak of measles running rampant, and Dad as the local GP, in the days where there were no set hours in practice was hardly ever home. Mum knew he loved it and tended to the tree with almost as much love and devotion as she gave to Dad and later to us. I was three when Jane arrived; a little sister when what I wanted was a brother. The family was complete, but I ran outside to the tree, the trunk was steady and strong enough for me to hug it, shedding tears of disappointment. She, the tree, was also good at keeping secrets. As we both grew, I would sit for hours under her protection talking to her and imagining answers. I had an imagination that writers make a living from, but I was a lonely little boy at times; I still am in some ways.
Over the years we had our share of family troubles, most of them, were simply stepping stones of strength: disappointments, disciplines, heartache and growth intertwined with the rewards of tenacity and patience. I fancied in those situations that the oak tree was brooding over us much like a mother hen. She was strong sturdy, almost majestic, provided there were not too many children myself among them, climbing her branches and hanging somewhat reminiscent of Christmas decorations in various shades of dirt and noise. Such was school holiday adventures in the days when life was simple, roads were rough and you learned to take that rough with the smooth.
One night there was an electrical storm, the garden took a battering. My sister was quite frightened and for the first time, I played the role of the protective elder brother finding that Jane was not that bad after all. We watched the storm from the bedroom window, the oak tree swaying. She looked a sorry sight and much of her foliage was ripped off in the wind. Jane who was only three was agitated seeing the ghostly spectacle as a threat. Finally, with a hint of the reality check I would notice later in life she said
“Paul, I’m scared.”
I heard myself say
“Well, you had better come into bed with me then.”
Before you get the wrong idea, Dad looked in on us a little while later and carried the sleeping Jane back to her own bed. Just as well, she wriggled like a worm, but we became better friends because of the storm, and I fancy Jane loved the tree as much as I.
Over the years we saw the tree grow, towering over the other trees nearby. Her mood changed with the seasons sometimes regal, sometimes a real Prima Dona, always the focal point of the garden especially on family occasions. We all took her for granted I suspect.
Last year was in many respects a very difficult year culminating in a drought of rather epic proportions. Of course, we city slickers do not have it as rough as our country kin. They see their crops and livelihood taking a battering, we complain of water restrictions and the price of fruit and vegetables because it could not possibly be scarce in this land of plenty. It was a hot summer; we had to use buckets instead of hoses to water the garden. Many of Mum’s plants shrivelled and the oak tree looked like a tired old lady. It was decided that whatever else died we would look after the Oak, digging a trench around her to water her via the bucket. She was doing well until…
One night just as we were thinking of going to bed, I smelt smoke. Looking out the window I saw that the side fence had caught alight. Earlier that evening we smelt the rich aromas of barbequed meat, we suspected the barbeque had not been turned off properly. I rushed out in old clothes, Jane’s husband following me, Jane watched from a distance, tears running down her cheeks but determined to be there. Turning at the wrong moment I saw that the leaves were on fire; her branches almost melting in the heat rather than igniting from the flames. Heedless of my own safety I ran with buckets to try to quell the flames. The wind worsened. My attempts to save my tree seemed futile; I succeeded only in burning my flesh. Jim valiantly continued to minister to the tree. It sounds as though he was preaching, instead, he was talking gently to the scorched trunk promising to take care of her. I fancied my brother in law and mate loved the tree as much as we did. It was clear to Jane I needed an ambulance, and so I reluctantly left the oak in Jim's care.
It was a trying time for all of us. Through weeks of treatment, getting used to my scorched skin and other sundry adjustments, I pictured the oak tree: discovering she did survive though like I, was a little battle-scarred. In one of their visits to the hospital, Jane and Jim brought a snapshot of the tree. It included a new green shoot, just a speck of green, as though to say “I’m not dead yet Paul, which means you don’t give up either.”
One of the nurses, Maggie, looked in on me. We had struck up a conversation on her previous shift so she was eager to see the photo.
“Paul, what does this photograph tell you?” she asked
“Not to give up too easily,” I replied.
“Make that not to give up.” her correction was gentle yet swift., much like the friendship that developed.
Home at last. It is autumn, chilly yet beautiful. So, when I stepped outside onto the veranda, the leaves of my oak tree were on fire. The riot of autumn colours soothes my inner being. Life is not without its seasons. Autumn, the last hurrah before the age of winter. Winter lets us hibernate and get over the moans. Spring regrowth and rain. Summer sometimes treacherous oft times beautiful. Are you surprised that the speck of green I am imagining now is in the shape of an emerald ring for Maggie, the love of my life?
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I agree with Suzi. You described what happened really well. And I liked using the emerald ring as a symbol of that speck of green. I wonder if this means that Paul (the narrator) plans to marry Maggie when Spring rolls around (an idea for a sequel). After all, Spring is a time of rebirth, the start of something new, an explosion of colors that far outshines even Autumn's beauty.
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Thank you, Philip. Your encouraging comments cheered me, as I have been a wee bit down this week. Sequel Now there is an idea! How much do you charge for planting sequel seeds?
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You're welcome.
I too find that encouragement is quite the motivator (emotionally and creatively). I don't think you're ever too old to stop needing encouragement, especially if your self-confidence and self-esteem aren't exactly in the healthy range most of the time (if you think a 6-foot-tall very plump guy can't feel like a coward sometimes and cry, then you've never known a guy like me). That's why, when my creativity and mood are up, I try to do all that I can, because I know they'll come back down again, and I don't know how long it'll be until the next upswing happens. The shrink I used to go to said I had "manic depression with a small d". Which probably explains why there are times I feel like can write stories and poems like crazy ... and other times, I feel tired and that everything I write is junk and how in the world anyone could possibly think I'm any good. I've definitely encountered my own examples of "Imposter Syndrome" (as Neil Gaiman calls it) or "Fraud Police" (as his wife Amanda Palmer calls it). When I feel that I can't possibly be the person people think I am. And if they knew what I was really like, they just wouldn't believe it. Or as someone I worked with once said, "But you don't *sound* like the person who played that music." Almost as if "Hyde" does all the creative stuff, and "Jeckyll" is the one that people see in real life. If only I could be "Hyde" most of the time.
Sequel seeds are free of charge (since they aren't ions; grin) ... just provided that eventually a story (or stories) grows from them. The story doesn't have to be like the beanstalk in "Jack and the Beanstalk". It just has to be the kind of story that *you* think is any good. Chances are, if *you* like it, I probably will, too (though. of course, our tastes won't always overlap) and so will other people. Just give it your best. As my late father told me once a long time ago, "If you've done your best - *your* best, not anyone else's - then that's good enough." He never asked for perfection (he wasn't stupid). He just asked for my best. And sometimes my best surprised him. Though he also told me that it seems that I tend to prefer the difficult way to the top of a mountain, rather than taking the easy way. I guess I don't feel like I've done much (or any good) if I take the easy way. I want to know that I've actually worked for what I earned, rather than getting it on a silver platter.
Happy writing!
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Your Dad was so right. I understand a little of what' giants" need I'm married to one of six-foot, his son is 6'2" and his little brother is 6'4", All his sisters are tall as is his daughter and at this stage, the shortest is his grandaughter but I suspect she will be taller than her step Nan by the time she is ten. I wonder if this month is an opportunity to expand on Paul I don't know yet Thanks again, Philip
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You're welcome.
Btw, my late father was 6' 2 1/2" tall. The tallest in my family, and the tallest on either his side or my mom's side. I think my twin nephews are at least 6' tall, but not sure if they're as tall as my father was. When I was growing up, I was so tired of being shorter than everyone else. But puberty (among other things) had the last laugh. I was still 5'4" at the start of 10th grade, but 9 months later, I was 5'8", and grew still another 4" or so by the time I graduated from high school. Not everyone grows height-wise at the same rate (even if you come from a mostly tall family on your father's side and not quite as tall on your mother's side; my maternal grandfather was about 5'10", but my maternal grandmother never got taller than 5' and my mother's sister is 5'1"; my mother is 5'6"; ironically, my mother's hands and feet are the same size as mine and I'm about 6" taller). But I've found that if you're a typist, short fingers are a benefit, not a liability. My foot size (compared to my height) still makes no sense (size 7 EEEEE), but that's what I'm stuck with. At least I don't have size 14 or 16 feet like two of my high school friends had. And they weren't even basketball players or football players.
I wouldn't want to be 6'4" or taller. I remember two people in high school (one in 9th grade, one in 10th grade) who were 6'4". I had a classmate in 7th grade who was 5'11" and then 6'2" in 8th grade (the school made him join the basketball team; he wasn't good at it; he was happier in Art class). But the guy in 9th grade had to duck his head every time he went into or out of the boy's bathroom. It made me feel sorry for him. And sorry for the girl in 10th grade, because (outside of the basketball team) there just weren't that many guys that tall. I have no idea if she ever found dates for school dances, much less dated anyone tall enough outside of school.
One disadvantage of being tall (besides doorways not being tall enough) is you discover that the lower shelves in stores are harder to reach. But, on the flip side, you can help people shorter than you by reaching for items on the top shelves that they can't reach (I used to do that for my maternal grandmother once I finally grew taller than she was).
So height isn't everything (just like age is only a number). Though, if your ego is small and weak (as I think mine is), it does effect how you see yourself. Unless, of course, you decide that you just don't care how tall or short you are, and you're going to be happy just as you are. That's how I wish I *could* deal with it. But I got picked on in grade school for all sorts of reasons. One of the dumbest ones was when I was in junior high school and one kid asked me why I was wearing shorts. I said because I wanted to. They said (and I'm not kidding): "You can't wear shorts if you're a guy; your legs aren't hairy enough." Well, they're somewhat hairier now (though, thankfully not as hairy as my middle brother's legs are). Or someone complains that you look fat in corduroy pants. That happened to me in 10th grade (the complainer was my maternal grandmother, actually) and I've never worn them since. I've worn jeans and dress pants, though, and no one's ever said I look fat in those. A health self-image isn't easy to come by. At least not where I'm concerned.
I've heard that growing up as a girl isn't easy. Rest assured, it's also not easy growing up as a boy; I'm proof of it. I hope that you grew up happy being just the way you are. It sounds like you did.
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Like your descriptive words in this. Thanks for liking my story too.
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