The Last Laugh

Gladys frowned as she made yet another correction. Her typing skills weren't bad, but her eyesight had diminished with the years and at only 65, she struggled to see small print. She needed to get this done, however. It was her Last Will and Testament- a very important document. This piece of paper would determine the legacy she left to the names on her list. The names of her closest family members. Close- HA! Like they even bothered to come and see her. Not a single one of them knew of her secret, her nest egg. She had saved every dime she could for decades and even invested some of it well. Her kids and grand-kids thought she was just an old woman to be forgotten. Ha! She would get the last laugh. She wouldn't leave them out, no, that would be too much. She dearly loved her progeny, she just didn't want them to forget to grieve for her in the excitement of all that money to spend. She had to write this very carefully.....

Two months later..

“You have got to be kidding me! Mom was loaded? Since when?” Daphne was flabbergasted. Her mom had never talked about having any real wealth, but now that she was gone, the Executor of her Will, their mom's best friend Tabitha, was saying that Gladys had been worth over two million dollars. Excitement filled her and she began making plans for her share while she waited for everyone to arrive to the reading of the Will. Her brother, Jackson, was slouched in the corner, heading hanging nearly to his chin. He was obviously hung over- again. Tabitha wasn't giving much else away, however, and they continued to wait for the final party listed in Gladys's last wishes- her ex-husband and father of her children, Richard. Richard had spent years cheating on, berating, and otherwise humiliating their mother, and while none of them had blamed her for divorcing him, they didn't exactly like it either.

Richard strolled in thirty minutes later and the impatient group finally settled down to listen. Each thought of the money and hoped to get the biggest chunk. Daphne had two kids of her own; surely her mother would leave her enough to spend on them, too? Not that sharing was really in her plans, but who would know that?

Richard was baffled at being included but had shown up more for greed and curiosity than respect. He had never really loved Gladys. He had gotten her pregnant at a time when you got married if you knocked a girl up. He had only stayed as long as he had because he didn't want to pay child support, but that had wound up happening anyway. He should have left years sooner.

Jackson's head was pounding. He wanted the money so he could get a few bills paid and maybe get a drink or two. Or maybe just get the drinks. He glared at Tabitha, wishing she would get on with it so he could go do just that.

Tabitha finally cleared her throat and began to read:

My dearest loved ones, (Richard grunted)

I am so sorry to be leaving you this way, and so soon. (65 is pretty old, not so soon, thought Daphne)

I wanted to make sure I got this completely right, and I want you to know I carefully considered each gift I have bestowed upon you. (Yeah, get to the good stuff, thought Jackson)

Tabitha was so good to agree to do this for me and I know you will treat her, and my wishes, with respect. (Depends... thought everybody)

The first gift I have to give is to my lovely daughter, Daphne. (YAY! Daphne cheered mentally) For most of your childhood, I allowed you to have and do as you liked. You always were an animal lover, bringing home stray dogs and cats and wanting to keep them. I let you do this because I thought it would teach you compassion and love. I don't know where I went wrong, but you have very little of either in your heart, baby. I'm sorry that I didn't teach you better. (Daphne flushed and the rest of the group snickered) This is what I have for you. Because of my loneliness, I always kept a little dog or two. Nobody came to visit so I needed the company. My two dogs, Castille and Brutus, are being lodged at a local kennel. Tabitha has arranged this and they are being well cared for but they need a home. My last wish for them is that they have a home with you. You see, for all those years I let you bring home pets, but when you tired of them, I was left with their care. I fed them, bathed them, and walked them. I know now that this is where I failed you. YOU need to be the one facing up to your own choices and responsibilities. YOU now get to do for me what I did for you for so many years. I know you will love them; they are good dogs.

Daphne sat in stunned silence. There was two million dollars at stake and she had gotten two dogs??? She would take them of course; she still liked pets, but what about all that money? Maybe Tabitha wasn't finished, she thought. She slumped in her chair when Tabitha moved on to the next benefactor.

My dearest boy, Jackson. (Jackson perked up) I have failed you, too. At some point, I didn't teach you to face life's difficulties and pain and you turned down a road of addiction and sorrow. I have blamed myself for your troubles for years, thinking it was my divorcing your father that started you down this road. I no longer think that. You see, for years I allowed your father to degrade and disrespect me. He shamed me and- in a way- shamed you as well. I never thought about what it would do to a boy to see his father stooping so low. You needed a role model you could look up to, someone to admire. I gave you Richard. I should have made better choices in life, and when I saw I had made a mistake, I should have tried harder to fix it. I thought it was best to not break up our home, but I failed to see that your dad had done that already. Broken homes aren't always divorced homes. Sometimes, they're just broken. For you I have a very special gift. Tabitha has set up a rehab appointment and it will be paid for completely by my estate. It will include counseling to help you figure out how to get your life back under your control. You have it in you to be a very good man, Jackson. Find that man. Live that life. You are not the sum of your parent's accomplishments and failures. You are you, and you are wonderful. (Jackson sat utterly still, tears silently coursing down his thin cheeks)

And finally- you Richard- you also get a gift today. You were the man of my dreams. I know why you really married me- you told me often enough. I want you to know that I would have married you and loved you with my whole heart, even if I had not been in a delicate condition, as they used to say. You were my one and only love. The knowledge of my disappointment and my heartbreak are my gifts to you. To know that you could have had a much different life. You never remarried, and do you want to know why? You don't know how to be happy! If you had just looked at me (at us!) just a little differently, we could have had the whole world. I always tried to be a good wife to you. You were cared for and loved, and I'm sorry it wasn't enough for you. You may ask yourself, “How is disappointment and heartbreak a gift?” Well, it isn't much of one, I'll admit. BUT, It may show you that there is more to life if you will just enjoy what you have instead of constantly reaching out for something else. Knowing I loved you may someday matter to you. I'm here now, on my deathbed, looking back at my life. Someday, unless you die very suddenly, you will have time to reflect, too. Remember that you were loved by a good woman, for however long it lasted. Maybe that will comfort you.

(Richard reached down into his pocket, where he still carried his wedding band. He had never really understood his need to keep it nearby. Now he thought he did.)

Now! I am sure you are all waiting, somewhat impatiently- I can just see you squirming in your seats, haha- to hear about my money. And, my dears, it is MY money. I can't take it with me, I know, nor do I love it enough to want to. What I DO want to do with it is this. I want you to have a family meeting. I want you, as a group, to choose where the money should go. It can be to a non-profit charity, to a church, or, if it really means so much to you, to you, but there's a catch! Not one of you has any more say than the other. There can be no disagreement and no fighting. You can choose to split it equally, of course, but that means you have to be willing to give up feeling that you got the biggest piece of the pie. Yes! I know you and I know that is exactly what you were all thinking when you walked into the room! You bicker and argue and resent one another, and as that needs to be corrected as well, you will do this as a FAMILY and you will show love to one another. Jackson- you only get yours once you at least TRY to free yourself of your addiction but I am no longer there to hold your hand and tell you what is best for you so it is YOUR responsibility. Not mine. Daphne- share with your kids. They are the greatest gift- more so than you can imagine! And Richard- I don't feel I owe you much, but I do owe you for the children. They were my joy. I could have had kids with another man but I had them with you. Take care of them for me. Man up and be a father. Do it for yourself as well. Now. I've said my piece and I've given you all I have. I loved you the best that I could and you know what? I'll put a good word in for you. Kisses!

MOM