Patience

Liya, after dried tears wrung together her cheek's membrane, sits on her bed and prepares to sing from her songbook. Yesterday’s incident pumped fresh revulsion at Alex into her nerves immediately she wakes up. She should yank him by his neck and hauled him to the middle of the International human hunting festival held by lions in the African forest and listen to his heart bangs like the African drum. She should relax in Los Angeles in her bedroom singing, while his brother's roar for aid from Africa soothes her.

Earth defects of not being a fantasy to allow such insanity as talking to animals or animals holding a celebration and the knowledge that she will never hurt a self makes her cease her atrocious thoughts on her brother.

For the moment, she decided, she will create a distance between her and Alex until she is responsible enough to dent him off.

Singing ‘Stronger’ by Kelly Clarkson, she heard a knock on the door. There is her mother, emitting a dominant aura as always.

“Your father needs you in the living room,” she asserted curtly. Liya felt the savagery deep in her soul and her eyes waters as an effect. Alex’s claws have preyed on everyone she knows except her dad.

She recalled when she goes to her brother’s classroom last December to submit a post request to their school's head senior. Little did she know he was one of her brother’s close friends. She walked up to him and smiled, hoping he will realize how she is such an angel. Beautiful and sweet. She does not have a crush on him, but she won't mind pretty words direct to her from the head senior of their school.

He squinted his eyes as if he knows who she is and then he says; “Liya, right?”

“Yes.” She says.

“You look so much like your brother. I’d recognize you anywhere.”

“Oh, okay.” She’s blushed. His brother is, unfortunately, handsome.

“I wanted to submit my request for your position.”

“Aww, proposition starts tomorrow.”

“Okay, thanks for your time,” she walked off smiling until her heart sunk when she heard him warn his friend, “She has a pretty face but trusts me, no one likes a viper. I’m friends with her brother, so I know she pretends a lot.”

She scampered to the bathroom, clenching her eyes and gritting her teeth to halts the salty drops. She never steps into any of her brother's classrooms ever again.

Memories like this threaten to erupt her eye volcano. She quickly composes herself before going to the living room. She didn’t want to face her family with tearful eyes and add to the existing 101 proof that she is a pretender.

She spots her dad on the armchair. “Hi, dad.”

“Darling, how was your night?” he asked, smiling.

“It was fine.” She advanced to take water from the kitchen, which also houses the dining area.

“We are that disgusting to you. You don’t even want to sit with us.” Her mom said shaking her head.

The emotions she’d buried down rushed from her vulnerable heart and mind, blocked her tiny throat, and blurred her vision. She struggles with all her strength to quell the emotions.

“I only want a cup of water,” she replied without turning.

“You should have let her sit before challenging her. Liya is a clever girl.” Her brother said while she was drinking.

In her mind, she chants, ‘whatever to Alex. Ignore him, your highness. The strongest of creatures. He’s just another insignificant creature who wants to show himself to you.’ she recites this to paralyze the surging storm in her body.

There’s an armchair beside her ever understanding father’s chair, but she chose the sofa her mom and Alex share and sits between them.

She regrets her decision when they play with dates. They tossed it back and forth between each other while she fidgets with her robe, the dates flashing sequentially before her eyes. They invited her to the game, but she refused. She’s not yet ready to cover her wounds and forgive them.

“You all need to change your ways in my house.” Her dad began.

“Liya, my dear, don’t take things too personally. Learn how to hold yourself.” If only he realized the extent to which she’s clutching herself together right now.

 “We can settle dispute without impairing no one. Listen to me, Liya, life must not bring you down.” she is not accountable for any destructive acts. Her mom misreads while her brother is a dumb sadist, she retorts inwardly.

“David.” her mom interjected. “What do you mean? Oh, Alex is a liar and we don’t know what we see? Honey, Liya is a deceiver, and if we don’t stop this unpleasant act now, trust me, she will get worse.” She narrated, hissing.

“Don't talk to a child that way. You only want to make her feel worse.”

“Don’t tell me how to treat my daughter...” then an argument flared up. 

Alex and Liya wear similar expressions. An ‘everything happening now is your fault’ expression.

“I'm not a child, dad and I’m not a pretender, mom.” she glared at her mom.

“The Lord knows my mind. He knows I know nothing of what you are discussing last night. I won’t force anyone of you to believe me.” She declared. “And I’m done here.”

“Oh, my baby is not a pretender,” her mom taunted.

“You’re both bullies. Ignore them, baby.” Her dad says as she enters her room.

Of course, ignore them. She’s been doing that before she knew what the word, ignore means. Now they will expect her to forget everything and move on. To forget that she's been burned by her family, impossible, she thought.

Occasionally, she asks her friends at school questions like; ‘Am I a pretender? Do I deceive people? Am I a bad person?.’ Of course, they laughed and shrug it off. One said she has an innocent face, but it’s all a facade. The innocent ones are the evilest.

But is it her fault she has an innocent look? She continues to ask these questions, hoping one day, she will earn answers.

Yesterday, they were all eating dinner discussing beauty and style. She said she’s both beautiful and stylish and her dad said, “everyone knows you’re beautiful as they also know you’re a far cry from being stylish.” After they all laughed it up, she dropped the conversation and enters her imaginative world.

After a while, she looked up to three sets of eyes on her. Her mom’s nose and mouth is raised up and her eyelids are turning around, her dad, well, he's tired, and her brother's stupid face with the, ‘I told you so,’ look.

“What’s going on?” She begged.

“Told you she’d deny it,” Alex said.

“Deny what?” she cried out.

“So you would pretend you don’t know what we’ve been disputing?” her mom questioned.

“I don’t. What were you talking about?” She tried to play it cool.

“Is it about me?” she asked with jest. Little did she know.

“Oh, lord. Liya, you will never change.” Coming from her brother.

Her mouth sunk while her brain did not believe what it processes. They were discussing her. Anyone that looks at her face now won’t call her gorgeous. Her face distorts from the tiredness of getting accused of the same thing constantly.

“Maybe her mind is not here.”

Before she could reply to her dad, her mom countered.

“Of course her mind is not here. We have chastised her after all. She’s scrunched up her face like a spoilt little brat.” There’s nothing funny about that, but Alex chuckled.

She said nothing. If she utters one word, the mighty oceans from her eyes will gush out. She got up from the chair and walked to her bedroom.

Her mom uttered, “she has mastered the art of pretending.”

Her dad replied, “just leave her alone, okay.”

Now that statement hurts Liya in every cell that made her up. She inferred it as ‘just leave her alone to her problems.’

That night, she’s determined to cut not only her brother but her parents as well. Alex made them believed she is a pretender, her mom chose Alex’s side and her dad act like it doesn’t matter if she pretends, he will always love her unconditionally.

The morning, however, she launched an ultimate solution that can only get fulfilled when she's matured. If she eliminates the roots of her problems, Alex, most things would be pretty for her. She could not end ties with Alex since she’s only fifteen and creating a distance would do now. It’d be delightful when she someday has her parents as her only family. Patience is all that matters, she thought to herself, and with her eyes set, her face rigid, she writes patience in capital letters on her songbook.