American Fantasy Funny

"It's a bad season." Mike had a wet towel on his shoulder, sweat already soaking through his vest, and though he was already sweating profusely, he stood there like a stake, and he looked again at the poster on the wall: it was an advertisement for the sale of fruit. 

Apples, bananas, watermelons, these very common fruits have never appeared in Mike's 42 years, and he remembers a foreigner who once came to the town to promote his products: "I invented a new fruit juicer. Just one apple can squeeze out two glasses of apple juice! "What a big joke, there are no more than two people here, down to 1-year-olds, up to 80-year-olds, who have seen apples and apple juices. Therefore, it is conceivable that the foreigner finally had to leave the town in a gray and slippery way. 

Suddenly, the bar door was slammed open and a man walked in, cursing, "This damn Hunter, fuck it, damn Hunter!" He's just a bastard! He should go to hell now! ”

"Mark, if you kick the door so hard, congratulations, you'll be the first customer to be banned from this bar for life." 

This looks exactly like the elderly version of Sean. Connery's man, whose name was Mark, was one of mike's few trustworthy men in town. 

Mark continued to swear: "He's a robber, a womanless thing!" Use that disgusting trick to squeeze out those of us who have lived here all our lives, he wants us to die, well, I'm not going to lie in the coffin myself and let people fish! ”

Mark staggered to one of the most remote corners inside, which had just escaped the sunlight, and sitting there would feel not so hot. 

Yet the floor was still hot and hot, and Mark took off his shoes and put his feet on the table, revealing a pair of old and ugly feet, the blood vessels on which were clearly visible. 

"It's going to be a little bit better." Mark wiped a handful of sweat from his head. 

"Want a glass of water?" Mike asked. 

"You're kidding, aren't you?" 

"What do you think?" Mike sneered. 

"Unless you've dug up the treasure, how can you afford Hunter's water?" 

"Maybe one day." Mike opened the only bucket in the bar, the bucket was wooden, opened the lid, emitted a sour and musty smell, there was not a drop of water in it, but there were two cockroaches, only to see two cockroaches playing in the bucket, it was a chic scene. 

"Shut it up, you lunatic!" Mark couldn't stand the smell. 

Mike couldn't stand it either, and closed the lid while coughing. 

How sad it is that a bar does not even have a drop of water, and even more sad that in this town, a glass of drinking water is a luxury. 

There was no way, in this town built on an endless desert, there was only one well, which had been owned by the government many years ago. 

Until one day, a man named Donald. Hunter's foreigners came to the town, and the first thing Hunter did when he came to the town was to visit the mayor's house. 

Hunter then made a condition to the mayor that he could not refuse. 

After only two weeks, the mayor actually left the town, but in fact, this did not bring any sensation, because here, most people think that the mayor is actually a mental illness, and even many people do not know what the mayor is. 

At this time, Hunter took out a property ownership certificate, proving that the only well in town was now his property! 

What is a Property Ownership Certificate? The people in the town didn't know what it was. But when they knew they could no longer use the well at will, they immediately became dissatisfied, and anger surged into their hearts, and they took up their weapons and prepared to force Hunter to leave the town. Hunter, however, was not afraid, and he took out a weapon called the "gun" and killed a cow in just two seconds. Seeing this scene, people retreated one after another, and some people proposed to pick out fifty people to rush up together, even if the gun was powerful, it was impossible to kill fifty at the same time, people expressed great approval, but no one was willing to sacrifice themselves, and finally the matter had to be solved. 

"We had to pay the guy $30 a week because it was allowed to use that well, and I put up with it, but it cost fucking $50 to hit a bucket of water!" What the fuck is the difference between this and robbery. ”

"You'd better talk less..." 

Mark looked like an old man who was dying, the skin on his face was almost cracked, his mouth was very uncomfortable now, the ghost weather almost drained his water, and now he could only relieve the pain by constantly swallowing the saliva. 

Just as the two were talking, the door to the bar door was opened again and a man walked in. 

The next second, however, both Mike and Mark showed the same look of astonishment. Then they all came to the conclusion that this man must be a foreigner. 

This can be seen in the man's skin. 

Because of environmental problems, the skin of the men in the town was mostly dry, wrinkled and dry, and who would have thought that a twenty-year-old young man would look like a person in his forties and fifties. Even the flamboyant woman looked lifeless. 

And the man in front of him, the skin is better than the people in the town. 

Mike looked at the foreigner in front of him: he looked to be in his thirties, about one meter and eight meters tall, but he had Alan. Delon's figure and a face that resembled that of Clint Eastwood. 

The man went straight up to Mike, "Listen to people, you're the only hotel in town." 

Mark, who was standing nearby, suddenly said, "This is a bar, not a hotel!" 

The man ignored Mark's words and asked Mike again, "But you have rooms for rent here, right?" 

"Not bad, but I'm not going to rent the room to a stranger." 

"I don't know what your rent here is, but I'm going to rent it for a month." 

With that, the man took out a wad of money from his pocket, all in denominations of $50! Then take out three sheets and put them on the bar. 

"You can take me to see the room." 

Mark on the side was stunned, his salary a week was only $80! Mike naturally could not refuse such a condition. 

The man stayed at Mike's bar. 

When night falls and the town loses its morning heat, people are willing to go out, and Mike's bar is a frequent place for people. 

Even a big name like Hunter would come to Mike's bar. He would often play poker here with his businessmen friends. 

That night, Hunter arrives at the bar with his two businessmen friends (Tony selling hats and Rooney selling boots) as usual. 

"Hey, Mike, we haven't seen each other in a week, have we?" 

"I never remember that, sir." 

Hunter leaned back against the bar and looked at everything around him with his deep eyes, everything in this bar. 

"What a beautiful place, are you right?" 

"Oh? Is it? Sir, I never felt that way, on the contrary, I felt that the place was like a coffin. ”

"Sigh, Mike, your metaphor is so inappropriate, of course, if you look at the whole world, then your bar is a rat, but in this town, your bar is as sacred as the church." 」 

"If that's the case, then I won't sell this place to you, sir." 

"That's because you haven't seen my 'sincerity' yet"

Hunter pulled out a $10 bill and slapped it on the bar, and every time Hunter came here to play poker, he would give Mike $10 "rent." 


"Hey, Tony, it's your turn!" 

"Damn, I chose not to follow." 

Hunter opened his hole card, a 7 of spades. 

", Hunter, I'm fooling you again!" I thought your cards were straight! ”

Tony's card was right, but he chose to give up! 

Tony stood up angrily, Hunter had a bad smile on his face, and Rooney, who had long been out, unconvincedly said that he would play another round. 

The sound of one person's footsteps interrupted the conversation of several people. 

"Who is he?" Tony asked in a whisper. 

"A foreigner!" Rooney saw the man's face. 

Hunter didn't care, because he was a foreigner, so he urged the two: "Let's continue!" 

The man, with a package in his hand, came to another table and sat down. 

At first, no one cared what was in the package of this foreigner, but when the man opened the package, everyone could not sit still! 

"Did I read that right, so, that, that's a bottle of wine?" 


"What the hell is he, how could he have wine?" 

Hunter put down the playing card in his hand and came to the man, who actually began to introduce himself: "Hello, sir, my name is Hunter, and you have heard of me in front of others." 

The man did not look at Hunter, but opened the bottle and said, "I don't know who you are, but I can tell you my name, my name is Zheng Pi." 

The moment the man took the cap off, everyone took two steps closer to the man, and even Mike couldn't resist the temptation. 

"I heard that your town is the driest place on earth." 

"That's a joke." Tony said. 

"You can understand it that way." Mike said. 

Zheng Pi poured a glass of wine, and instead of drinking it, he asked a question: "How much is this glass of wine worth in your place?" 

No one can answer that question. 

Zheng Pi smiled contemptuously, as if he already knew the answer. 

"I have plenty of water here." 

Then he left the wine behind and returned to the room alone. 

The next morning, the sun shone on the land again, and after a gunshot, a tree fell, and the land became even drier!

August 27, 2022 13:08

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