Lonely In Montgomery County

Submitted into Contest #288 in response to: Set your story during — or just before — a storm.... view prompt

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Fiction Horror Thriller

A flash of light brightened the window, and a rumble of thunder shook the panes of glass in the windows. The storm was getting closer. Lena peered out from the closet, lightning illuminating the room. The area outside the closet had a bed in it, and underneath the covers someone tossed and turned. Lena just watched, for the moment.

Another crack outside, and a rumble rattled the glass again in the window. A street light cast long shadows in the bedroom, the legs of the bed connecting with the hope chest, a continuous length of inky dark. She slid along that darkness as it met the Kimberly bay louver door, up to the bed. A mess of blonde curls lay on the pillow, the face buried in softness.

Lena reached out, caressing the curls with her right hand. She always wanted hair like that, but her straight hair was always done up with ribbon. At least this stranger was blonde. The last one was a redhead. The redhead’s parents had left a large pink gas can in her bedroom. It didn’t belong, but she had played with Lena’s toy doll without breaking it. Lance had come upstairs to remove the pink trash, after a bearded stranger complained about it, saying words like explosive and dangerous.

This blonde girl hadn’t. Lena distinctively heard a crack when this blonde girl conducted a tea party with several dolls. Instead of telling an adult, she hid Lena’s doll, so Lena didn’t know how damaged it was. In a moment of fury, Lena yanked on her hair. The little tramp turned over, a nasty little smile on her lips. She didn’t wake up, and Lena stared at her, scrunching her nose. Another flash of lightning illuminated the room for a moment. That BITCH! She was holding her toy doll, the girl’s thieving fingers wrapped around what was hers! Oh, she would pay, that she would.

A strange knock downstairs snapped Lena back from planning her vengeance. She leaned towards the door, straining to hear something. She heard a dull thud, then another, then another. Probably just one of the eight others, strangers in her friend’s house. Mrs. Moore hadn’t been the one who let them in. She had always been kind to Lena, and never had turned her away. The last time Mrs. Moore invited her over, Herman had smiled his goofy smile at her. None of these people had goofy smiles.

Lena heard three more thwacks from downstairs. One of the people was up. What could they be doing? She moved to the hope chest, then the door. It was open a crack, and she stared through it. Lena saw a wet footprint right in the middle of the floorboards. She tilted her head. Why would someone go outside in the rain?

The floorboards creaked as someone moved all over downstairs. They moved towards the stairs and Lena could hear something scrape across the floor along with the footsteps. Each stair creaked as whomever it was slowly walked up the narrow passageway. Lena ducked back into the room, and moved around to the opposite side of the hope chest.

She pressed her ear against the rough wood of the chest. She heard the footsteps pause at the door, then move down the hall, and climb the second stair. Two of the strangers were staying up there, a pair of older kids. An older girl with long, beautiful brown hair and curves Lena was jealous of, and a strange girl, with purple hair and an unfortunate bit of fuzz on her lip that her mother should have shown her how to remove. Lena was glad that didn’t happen to her.

The floorboards continued to creak as they walked across the floor above. The creaking stopped, and then Lena heard a thwack, then another, and another. A strange but familiar sound. She thought hard, but couldn’t place it. She didn’t want to go upstairs right now. Lena turned her gaze back to the girl in her bed.

Rain began to strike the glass as the storm reached the house. Lena remembered when Mr. Moore planted that tree outside the window, and now its branches rubbed the house as the wind whipped through them. Shadows moved with the trees, dancing across the bed. Lena watched them, imagining skipping across the sheets herself, with her sister Ina and Mary Katherine Moore. Those were joyful days, so long ago.

It had been so long since anyone had played with her. Most didn’t bother, or even notice her. Others did, but they were too little. Boys like Herman brought a smile to her face, but they ignored her. She went between hating them and loving them, and switched when a new fresh face appeared out in the lawn below.

They only would stay for a night, maybe two or three. Then they would be gone. It should hurt to be this lonely, but Lena didn’t hurt. She wanted someone to stay longer. Even this toy thief would be some fun. There were other toys in the house. Together they could play with them all. Maybe even look at cute boys together.

The creaking floorboard started moving again, the sound heading back to the stairs. Lena could hear them descend, and head toward Mr. and Mrs. Moore’s room. She moved back to the door, one eye observing the hall. The door to their room was closed. She heard a thud. Then another. Then another.

It was a most peculiar sound. Then Lena saw it. She balled her fists, and felt heat in her face. One of the legs of her doll was laying in the hall floor.

Lena was furious.

This blonde strumpet not only broke Lena’s doll, but didn’t even pick up the aftermath of her destruction. She had no respect. THUD. THUD. THUD.

Lena went back to the bedside, glaring at the girl clutching her mutilated doll like it was hers to destroy. She so wanted to punch her hard, but girls don’t do that. She remembered her mother telling her that girls don’t hit. They were supposed to be ladies. If she thought she would get away with it, she would spit at this strumpet.

Lena heard footsteps in the hall. She spun around, and slid against the hope chest. Lena tried to make herself as small as she could. She wasn’t supposed to be awake past bedtime. If she got caught, there would be trouble.

The door creaked, cutting the silence between thunderclaps. Lena heard shuffling at the door, but didn’t want to take a peek. She closed her eyes, willing herself to be invisible.

She opened them when the footsteps entered into the room. They went past the hope chest, and towards the bed. Lena watched them. It was that strange girl, making those footsteps. Another flash of lightning, and Lena could see that she was soaked, her purple hair matted down, and red paint covering her face.

Then she saw it. The girl had an axe. Lena pressed herself against the wall. She suddenly found herself in the bed that Mrs. Moore let her use. She saw a dark man, holding an axe above her. She put her hands in the air, trying to stop him from bringing the blade down on her. She felt the axe bite into her arm, and the man grabbed her left arm, trying to hold it against her chest. She tried to scream, but cold fear clenched her throat. Only a squeak came out.

Lena couldn’t move her arm, no matter what. His fingers dug into her wrist, and she couldn’t pull it free. She tried to kick him, but her covers held her legs down, and he didn’t notice. His breath stank of tobacco, and a rotting tooth. He managed to put his knee over her arm, freeing his other hand. He choked up on the axe, and gripped it with both hands.

He pulled the back end of the axe down at Lena’s face. It hit, and she was back in the room with the strange girl. They stood at the foot of the bed, waiting for something. Another flash of lightning, and Lena saw a snarl on the girls face. That man had the same snarl.

Lena turned to call for Mrs. Moore. She felt the words in her mouth, but stopped. Why should she? This girl has broken her toy. She deserved to be punished.

But even more than that, Lena didn’t want to be alone. People came and went, sleeping in her bed. Nobody stayed, nobody played with her. For a while after the man came, Ina stayed, and even Herman kissed her on the cheek. But as that tree grew taller, they went outside to play, and didn’t come back.

The strange girl raised the axe, and brought it down. THUD. Raised in again. THUD. Raised it once more. THUD. Lena smiled. Now someone would be staying with her. It wouldn’t be so lonely anymore.

February 01, 2025 01:49

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4 comments

Shaba. A
02:43 Feb 22, 2025

Hello Victor! I just wanted to reach out and tell you how truly impressed I am with this write-up . I love every bit of the storyline. Keep up the good work mate! Are you a published writer?

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C. M. H.
16:27 Feb 08, 2025

This was so well-done! I loved the way it unfolded, the flashbacks and Lena’s POV on everything unfolding in the house. The twist is very well-executed. Excellent work!

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Victor Amoroso
19:45 Feb 08, 2025

Thank you so very much! FYI, Lena, Mrs. Moore, Herman (Moore), Ina and Mary Katherine were all real people, victims of the first mass murder in the house. This is the story of a copy cat, and the house is a real place, that I have visited. You can as well, as it is in Montgomery County, IA and in the town of Villisca. In 1912, they (and the rest of the Moore's not mentioned) were murdered in the event now know as the Villisca Axe Murders, still unsolved until this day. I hope this adds to your enjoyment of it all.

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C. M. H.
23:47 Feb 08, 2025

I didn’t even connect it earlier but I’ve heard a podcast about the Villisca Axe Murders!! That’s even more brilliant then!!

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