Ma Godavari

Close to the city of Paithan, in a small village called Sauviragram, which lay along the banks of the great river Godavari, lived a woman named Ilaa. Being cotton farmers, her family was well to do, but not among the richest in their area. It was the harvest season, and cotton had to be picked from the plants.

The wholesalers and traders from Paithan would be arriving in just a few weeks, carrying gold and goods for barter. They would exchange what they carried for the cotton that the farmers grew. The bales of cotton had to be ready in time! Work was at its peak!

But Ilaa was not to be found in the fields. She wasn't working. Instead, she was sitting by the banks of the great river Godavari.

'I am sick of this!' she grunted loudly.

“What should I do? You tell me ma, am I wrong?”

She was talking to river Godavari which she considered as her mother.

Ilaa had lost her mother when she was a young girl of three. She had the faint memories of her when she would accompany her to the banks of the Godavari to fill water. This was the most vivid memories she had in her mind. This was the daily early morning routine, even before the sunlight was visible at the horizon.

Her mother would call once “Ilaa, wake up. It is time to go.”

Second call was never required as she would jump out of bed in first call. “I am ready ma”, she would say, “Let’s go.”

This was her playing time too. This experience had connected her to the great river Godavari so much that she had started to call her ‘ma’. The day her mother died she was taken to her aunt’s house located at the end of the village. She could never know about her loss till the day she woke up early in the morning but could not find her mother. Without asking anyone she ran towards the banks of Godavari believing that her mother had left her and went alone to fetch water. But, she was not there. For two hours the little Ilaa kept searching for her mother till she fell on the ground, tired.

She started to believe that her mother had gone into the river and now she lives in it. The three years old Ilaa dragged herself towards the point where her mother would fill the earthen pitcher with water and tried to peek through the glowing flowing water of the river. Her face was barely visible in it due to the consistent flow of water, but it was enough to give her the belief that she has seen the face of her mother in water.

“Ma, you are there,” Little Ilaa shouted, “I can see you. Why did you leave me alone at home? I came alone all the way and then searched you. I am tired now, I want to sleep. Please come out of water, I want to sit on your lap.”

She kept requesting her reflection in water but no one came out. She slept there, later her father and uncles found the three year old Ilaa in unconscious state near Godavari. Since that day the river was her mother.

Ilaa was the only daughter of her father, who never married again, even though many proposals of marriage came for his remarriage. Nobody knew the real reason for it but many believed that the love for his daughter was forcing him to remain alone.

His friends would suggest him, “You should get married. One day Ilaa would leave this house after her marriage. She is the part of someone else’s family.”

But, Ilaa’s father was firm in his commitment towards his daughter. He was sure that any step-mother of Ilaa would not be able to love her as much as her real mother.

“I cannot do this injustice to my little daughter.”

This small family of two was full of love and affection. Ilaa’s father had not kept any restrictions on her playing, studies and movements as he wanted his daughter to live life to fullest. He also never cared about the poor suggestions coming from the villagers against the freedom given to Ilaa.

“You need to teach Ilaa to behave like a girl,” The so-called well-wishers of the family would suggest, “Otherwise, it would be difficult for you to get her married. She is also becoming a wrong example to other daughters of the village.”

Everything was great for Ilaa till the age of thirteen but after that something happened to her father that he started to behave in a weird way.

She would complain to river Godavari “Ma, what has happened to father, he is not the same person anymore. His behavior towards me has changed drastically. Never before he restricted me to do anything but now he wants me to ‘behave like a girl’. What is the meaning of this? I am a girl and I behave like a girl. Other day he was teaching me that I have become a big girl and now it is necessary that I reduce ‘my acting like a boy’. I just go out, meet you, go to fields and have fun. What is wrong with that? You tell me.”

Godavari was Ilaa’s mother and now best friend too. She would share all moments and experiences of her life with the river. She had many friends of her age in the village but now most of them were busy ‘behaving like a girl’. All of her girl-friends were reluctant to come of their houses and play with her.

Almost all of them had the same opinion “Our behavior should be as per the society norms, which dictate that the females belong to their houses. We are responsible for the home and males have responsibilities outside the house. It must be followed otherwise our lives would be spoiled.”

Ilaa had complete different opinions about the role of women in the society.

Ilaa was very fond of reading and learning. The village did not have good schools and all of them were male dominated. She struggled hard to study till the age of ten after which she was not able to get admission in any school.

Whenever her father tried to get her admitted to any village school, it was a common question “How can a girl get admission in school? This is not for her?”

Ilaa had also heard this view once but was unable to understand it at that time. Now, when her father behavior had changed, she was realizing the difference between males and females in the society.

This understanding had not stopped her from studying, instead she multiplied her efforts to get knowledge. She was able to get the access to a small library at the house of the village Pandit whose daughter was Ilaa’s friend. She would give Ilaa one book for reading which would be exchanged for the next book after its completion. Without her knowledge she was learning and growing her mind at much faster pace than the kids of her age. This growth of mind was leading her to question the status-quo of the society and its unwritten rules.

“Why young girls do not have freedom like boys and men? Why can’t we work on fields, study in schools and take part in social work?”

The year was 1638 and she had turned 13 three months back but the changes in behavior of her father were clearly visible. He did not want her to have friends, go out for playing and ‘behave like a boy’. She knew well that he loved her more than anything in his life but somehow was succumbing to the social pressures. Maybe, he had accepted that Ilaa is not the part of his family, instead she is the family member of the house where she would get married. He was sad and did not want to suffocate his little daughter, but he was helpless. He did not had courage to go against the rules of the society.

Harvesting period was a festive season for the village and especially for Ilaa. This was full of life, people and functions. All villagers were busy but happy as this was the time when the fruits of their labor were realized. This was also the time of shopping, home renovation and food. The buyers and visitors to the village brought interesting and useful stuff for barter with their fresh cotton. Ilaa’s family was in the above average economic category of the social scale and never had any financial problems but this whole month was especially waited by Ilaa due to its energy. This time harvesting season was bit different for Ilaa.

At the start of the harvesting period Ilaa’s father had instructed her strictly, “This time you will not come to the cotton fields and market.”

“Why?” Ilaa asked in shock, “You know I wait for this month for the whole year.”

“I know that.” Ilaa’s father replied, “But now you are a mature girl and that is the reason that you are not allowed to do the things which you did before.”

“Why can’t I do when all the boys of my age would be there?”

Ilaa’s father tried to explain her, “This is not what I want but we need to follow the society in which we live.”

“I do not understand it. If it is about me being a girl then there are many ladies who would be out there helping men.”

“They all are married. Once you would get married then your in-laws can give you the permission for it, till then you need to be inside the house and learn to become a good wife and a mother.”

Ilaa was frustrated as she was almost running towards Godavari to have interaction with her ma.

“I am sick of this!” She grunted loudly, “What should I do? You tell me ma, am I wrong?”

She closed her eyes trying to listen to her mother. No one believed her when she told people that she was able to interact with her dead mother, but that was the truth with which she was living. Whenever she closed her eyes she felt her mother sitting near and talking to her. Still she believed that the image in the running water of Godavari is of her mother, looking through the water.

Ilaa was complaining to her ma, “What has happened to all of us, this society? We were never like this before. I have read about the time when women were treated at par with men. Females are in no way less than males but they are not getting any opportunities, just like me. Ma, in this struggle I am alone, even father is not with me. It looks that he loves society more than me. Help me ma.”

Ilaa closed her eyes to connect with her mother and get her suggestions. Her face was being reflected in the running water of river Godavari. As always she heard the voice of her mother in her mind, she was talking to her. A shining smile appeared on the face of Ilaa.

Her mother suggested, “I know it my daughter. I have seen it all in my days and I was always afraid about you. Now you are facing the same problems. I am so sorry that I am not physically present with you, when you need me most, but I am always there in your heart. Your father is a good man and loves you very much.”

Ilaa interrupted “No ma, he does not. He cares about other people more than us.” Her mother was able to understand the pain which her daughter was experiencing.

She said “You should not worry, everything would be fine. You only need to do something I suggest.”

Then, she whispered something in the ears of her daughter.

Next morning, Ilaa woke up as usual and engaged herself in the household work. Her father was getting ready for work to go for cotton harvesting. He was waiting to listen to her daughter’s daily insistence to allow her to work like men. But, today Ilaa was quite, she was not speaking a single word. This was definitely not normal for Ilaa who was a very lively and energetic girl.

“Ilaa, are you fine?” Her father asked with concern on his face, “Are you not going to fight with me on the topic of equality of women with men.”

Ilaa did not speak anything even while serving him breakfast. Her father got restless, he was not able to eat anything.

He followed his daughter inside the kitchen and asked with tears in his eyes, “What has happened to you? You do not look my Ilaa.”

She slowly looked in her father’s eyes and answered after some time, “This is what you want from me. You do not want that I should live and breathe freely. You are concerned about your reputation in society and I am concerned about you. I will do exactly the way other girls behave in our village.”

Tears were rolling on her cheeks while she was speaking these words. Her father was able to feel the extreme pain of his daughter.

“You have told me that I am not the part of this family, but for me you are my first and most important family. This fact no one is going to change, not even you. I think that being a girl is a curse that means I am a curse for you, I am so sorry to take birth in this house.”

Her father was unable to control himself now, he sat on the floor and started to cry by covering his face with both of his palms. His whole body was shivering and he was sweating heavily. Ilaa also sat down trying to hold her father while crying with him.

Soon, Ilaa’s father was not only in control of his emotions but in control of everything in his mind and life. He was transformed with the pain of his only daughter.

He said “Ilaa, I was wrong. I should have never forced you to suppress your talent and make you like other girls of the village. I am so fortunate that you are born in my house. You are my daughter, my pride, this is your house and it will always remain this way and you are free to do anything you want. It is my promise that no one can stop you to do anything.”

Ilaa was extremely happy as she hugged her father tightly. She said while raising her head “I have to meet ma.”

Her father said “She also came in my dream last night and we discussed everything about you.”

Ilaa jumped in excitement as she was right that her mother was with her. At the banks of Godavari she narrated everything to her mother.

Before leaving she said, “Ma, I am going to the cotton fields, I have work to do with father. It is festive season.”

She saw her reflection in water, which she always assumed as her mother and ran back towards her home.

The image visible in the running water of Godavari was still present there with a smile on face.