Home for Christmas

I smile to myself softly as Quentin loudly sings into the karaoke machine. This party has become something I look forward to every year. There’s something about celebrating the holidays with coworkers that makes me feel closer to them. 

I think about what will be there when I get home tonight. An apartment without a tree, with no presents. I’ve never been a huge fan of Christmas, but this party makes me want to be. 

I zone out, thinking about the Christmases of my childhood. My dad was always really into Christmas, setting up the lights and getting the gifts and everything that came with it. Christmas hasn’t been the same since he died. I consider calling my mom, but push off the thought. Why would she want to hear from me now when she hasn’t heard from me in years?

“Alyssa,” I hear from next to me.

I turn to see Morgan looking at me with concern. Her black hair is pulled back neatly into a bun, but I think this is the first time I’ve seen her in sweatpants. 

“Sorry, what?”

“I was asking if you wanted to do karaoke with me but you were a million miles away. Is everything alright?”

“Oh. Yeah, I’m fine. Sure, let’s do karaoke.”

We pick “All I Want For Christmas Is You” and sing it together. Morgan is my best friend from the workplace and also my not so secret crush. Well, not so secret to everyone but her. I’ve been flirting with her for years to no avail. 

She meets my eyes during the song and I can’t look away. An electricity runs through the air, one I can feel in my veins. 

“Santa Claus will make me happy with a toy on Christmas day,” I sing.

I start inching my way closer to her until our faces are only a breath apart. The music ends abruptly and I pull away, blushing.

After the song, I rush off to the bathroom. I put my hands on the counter and breathe. Did Morgan want to kiss me as bad as I did her?

As I leave the bathroom, I see Quentin.

“Yo, Alyssa, what the fuck was that?”

“I don’t know. I think…I think we were going to kiss.”

“Why can’t you tell her you like her again?” He looks at me frustratedly.

“Because it will ruin our friendship. Plus, if we break up, we’re still going to have to see each other every fucking day.”

“So what? I’ve dated coworkers. Megan and I are fine.”

“You and Megan are not fine. You haven’t been able to work on a case together in years.” I work at a law firm, which is pretty intense.

“True. But there’s no way for you to know that things will turn out badly with Morgan.”

“I just know, okay?” I snap, and he goes quiet.

“Yikes, okay. Forget I said anything.”

Tears well up in my eyes. Maybe Quentin is right. Maybe I should try with Morgan.

I leave the party and start looking for her. She’s over talking to Rashid. She meets my eyes and waves.

“Hey, what’s wrong? You look like you’ve been crying.”

“Can we talk?”

“Yeah, what’s up?”

I look at Rashid awkwardly. “Um, in private.”

“Oh, yeah, sure.”

I grab her hand and lead her to the bathroom.

“The thing is–” I start and then she’s kissing me. Her lips are soft and taste faintly of wine. I put my hand into her hair, which is just as soft as I’ve imagined all these years.

When she pulls away, there’s a grin on my face.

“I’ve been wanting to do that for years,” she tells me. 

I giggle. “Me too.”

“What are you doing for Christmas?” She asks me softly.

“I…I’m not going home this year.”

She frowns now, the happiness ruined. “Alyssa, you know you should call your mom.”

“What am I supposed to say to her? She’s never made an effort to reach out since Dad died.”

“I know but…she probably misses him just as much as you do. It’s your decision, but you should.”

I nod. “Okay, I’ll call her. Speaking of, what are you doing for Christmas?”

“I’m going home just like you should.”

I nod. “I’ll call her. Just…give me a second.” I pull up my mom’s number and dial. 

She answers on the first ring. “Alyssa?”

“Yeah, hi, Mom, it’s me.”

“Oh honey, it’s so good to hear your voice. How are you?”

“I’m...actually really good, Mom. I was just thinking…it’s not too late for me to come home for Christmas, is it?”

“Of course not, honey. Oh, your sisters will be so happy to see you, and so will I.”

“Okay, Mom. I’ll see you in a few days. Bye, love you.” I hang up and smile to myself.

When I leave the bathroom, I find Quentin.

“You will never believe what just happened.”

“You made out with Morgan in the bathroom,” he says and I blush.

“Is it that obvious?”

“You have her lipstick smeared on your lips.”

I laugh. “It gets better. I called my mom. I’m going home for Christmas.”

He hugs me. “That’s wonderful!”

I smile and look around me, feeling the Christmas spirit for the first time since my dad died.

I find Morgan and kiss her lightly on the lips, earning a few cheers from others.

We find a corner to hang out in and I tell her about my conversation with my mom.

“So you’re going home for Christmas?” She asks.

I nod. “Yeah. I’m going home for Christmas.”

“That’s amazing, Alyssa. I’m so happy for you.”

I squeeze her hand. “I couldn’t have done it without you.”

She kisses me softly, and I lean into the kiss.

I smile and turn to Alyssa. “This is so embarrassing, but I kind of got you something.”

“Really? You didn’t have to do that.”

I find the present in my purse. “It’s a picture of us.”

She smiles, tears welling up in her eyes. “It’s perfect.”