MAJOR TOM

MAJOR TOM

  “Ground Control to Major Tom”

  “If you want to live through this journey Philip you will stop singing that song. You haven’t let up since we blasted off. It may have been funny then and had some sort of relativity, however after five days it does reek of overkill.”

  “Oh chill out Major, lighten up. Everyone at Ground Control sees the funny side of a real life Major Tom actually being on a journey through space. You must realise at some stage they will make that call.”

  “That song, A Space Odyssey, if you can call it a song, was banned before the first Apollo flight in 1969 and it should have stayed that way. Do you have any understanding of what Bowie was saying?”

 “Jesus Tom, it is a song connected to a historical event, the first men on the Moon. It is a classic.”

  “You weren’t even born in 1969. You have no concept of how disturbed the song made everyone feel. particularly those  connected with the flight  People watching on TV World-wide also became emotionally invested.”

 “That’s ridiculous. Nothing went wrong, what was everyone worried about?”

 “Get real Philip. That is easy to say after the event. This was a first. Three men heading for the Moon had metamorphorised from something only considered science fiction into the first true TV reality show. Had something gone wrong there wasn’t a precedent for decisions to overcome any problem they encountered.. The lift off, weightlessness in space, not in a simulated situation in a man-made chamber, meteors damaging the spaceship, the possibility of alien life greeting them, poison gases on the surface, these were only some of the dangers. It really was one giant step for man.”

  “OK I get all that. What was Bowie saying that had people getting their knickers in a knot?”

  “The interpretation of some of the lyrics. Remember this was 1969, the World was changing rapidly. To put it in perspective it was at the time the Beatles were recording their first album. The Rolling Stones were playing to record crowds. This was the permissive 60’s which is why the ban on the song was lifted. Drug references, loneliness, depression all became accepted lyrics, which did not please everyone. Bowie later admitted he was ‘out of his tree’ when he wrote the song. Look can we get on with what we have to do to keep this spaceship operational and on course?”

  “Sure, I have the day five check list in front of me. There is one thing we need to evaluate. Look at the top right hand corner of the screen showing vision of the galaxy ahead. It is showing a new comet has appeared since yesterday.  I am only assuming it is a comet.”

  “Never assume. Why did you wait until now to mention it? Why a comet? I think it is moving too slowly for a comet. It is maintaining the distance between us so it must be traveling at the same speed we are. What is the time frame from when it first appeared on the screen to now?”

  “That would suggest this object is moving far too slowly to be a comet. You are correct. Based on distance from the Sun it should be moving at around 25,000 miles per hour. This is nowhere near that speed. As you said the distance between it and us is not changing, it is mimicking our speed, 17,000 mph. Calculating its position indicates it must have traveled at over 40000 miles per hour to get to that position on our screen in the elapsed time, yet it has slowed to 17000. That is a controlled act, it must be manned.”

  “How far away is it?”

  “Using our laser probe indicates 6.7 miles. Jesus, did you see that? When I activated the probe it sent a return probe. Whatever it is, it is definitely manned.”

  “Being that close we are obviously on the same orbit. Ground Control must be seeing this, why haven’t they made contact?”

  “Whatever it is only looks like a large piece of space junk, certainly nothing like a spaceship. Perhaps Ground Control leave it to us to make contact if we feel it is creating a problem.”

  “Jesus wept. An unidentified object is 6 miles away in the same orbit and is mimicking us speed wise and using a return probe to evaluate distance apart and you do not see a problem? Contact Ground Control, do it now Philip.”

  “What can they do? They are light years away, we are within 6 miles. I think we should try and make contact with the object, whatever it is.”

  “What language would you suggest?”

  “Well we know the Chinese and the Russians have launched space probes, some manned.”

  “And which of those languages are you proficient in Philip? Just assume they understand English for Christ’s sake and make the call.”

  “It has gone, there one minute, disappeared the next, off the screen. It would have accelerated to 50000mph in the blink of a second to do that.”

  “There is another possibility. A screen which hides anything behind it has been activated. We have fighter planes that use that tactic. Fire another laser probe.”

  “There isn’t anything there to bounce the laser off. Tom, on the screen, it is behind you.”

   “This is not the time for Punch and Judy jokes Philip.”

   “I am telling you it is right behind us and moving closer. It is increasing in size. Increase our speed, put some distance between us or it will crash into us.”

  “The ship is not responding to my commands. Call Ground Control.”

  “Houston, we have a problem.”

  “Idiot, you can’t even get that right. It’s Houston we’ve had a problem.”

  “Look behind us, the thing is about to swallow our spaceship, we are going inside the thing. Saying we have a problem is an appropriate understatement.”

  “Ground Control to Major Tom……. Major Tom, ……Major Tom.”

  “Wake up Tom. Tom, give me strength, Ground Control to Major Tom, wake up. You are having another nightmare. Who is Philip? I knew this would happen when you played that Bowie song tonight. From now on it is banned in this house. Play it and it will not be Houston who has a problem. Go back to sleep, and take Philip with you.”