Aye--Captain!

The rag-wearing girl nodded her head voraciously when the pirate aboard her amazingly huge pirate ship told her she’d give her doubloons upon doubloons of pirate booty if she serve the pirate captain.       

The pirate commanded the girl to git up ‘ere, ordering the girl to grab a bucket, mop and soap, and start swabbing the deck! The girl obeyed immediately, the pirate captain returned to her quarters, hopping into her hammock net. Swinging herself, the captain sang softly to herself. The door creaked open.

“Captain, I’m done with the—”

“Count the doubloons!”

“Aye!”

The girl had counted the doubloons, reported land to be seen miles down the sea and cleaned the captain’s quarters, the captain taking one big fat look around and hailing the girl one of her crewmates. The girl didn’t dare protest, but deep inside, she detested drinking seawater and eating raw fish every day. Morning, noon and night it was, the girl eventually passing on the fish and starting to wonder as to whether the pirate captain was who she was really. As in, did she really care about her crew, or was this just slavery?

 It was hundreds of hours before the girl was done topping one coin on top of the other. She reported thousands upon thousands of coins, but the pirate captain just laughed in her face. “You’ll never be a pirate captain!”   

The girl continued her daily chores. Weeks went by before the girl’s clothes went from rags to even more ragged as her shirts and pants became stained with salt and brine and dead fish smell. She looked out to sea—would we ever reach land? Was this pirate ship going anywhere important?

“Avast! Thar she blows!”

The sudden yell of the pirate captain awoke the crew, especially the girl, from a deep sleep the next morning. It was dark outside, but the pirate captain’s boots marching on the upper deck of her ship was followed by a swarm of swashbuckling pirates and the girl gathering together to prepare to land.

Finally! The girl thought, yawning. How long’s it been?

After they all raided the land of its pearls, gold, silver, some monkeys, pigs, chickens, goats and parrots, and loaded the animals in crates and stored them underneath the captain’s quarters, the crew lavished themselves with jewelry, boasting about all the gold they’ll wear when they’re pirate captains, showing it off to their own crewmates—

“Mine, fools! You can’t wear them gold and silver necklaces like that. Give ‘er ‘ere!”

“Aye!”

The pirate captain swiped up all the gold bracelets, necklaces, locks, keys and other mouthwateringly envious possessions before the girl could even feel the precious jewelry around her neck. After storing almost all in a treasure chest, the pirate captain put some on, smiling in a way that made it look like she had earned all this gold, and then threw her door open, demanding the crew to train the animals down below. The monkeys would sound the alarm bell, swab the deck and entertain the crew when the pirate captain didn’t feel like ordering around. The parrots would ensure the captain that her crew did their duties and tell the captain of any danger, threats or objects. The pigs would be slaughtered for bacon and the goats’ milk would be used for cheese and butter. 

The girl trained the animals pretty swell. So good in fact she was awarded a doubloon! However, she grew tired of all this trickery—the pirate captain would take the reward right out of her hand, leaving her with nothing but a body of rags to live in. but the girl did as told. The rest of the crew told her brusquely that she’d be lost to sea if she faced another argument with the pirate captain.

The pirate captain prided herself on her accomplishments, sitting at the head of the dining table. Eating the fattest of the foods. Toasting to herself all the time, her jewelry shining brightly in the shining sun coming in through the very narrow wooden floorboards. The cook’s kitchen and dining table were below deck, just like the animals’ cages. But the animals, the girl visited and talked to, didn’t sound so happy or cheery.

“The pirate captain is far from good. She’ll rip your very eyes out, putting them in a jar and showing her crew she’s on top, and they’re forever working for her. Slaving away! Such an evil woman there never has been.”

Some pigs oinked in terror. “She’ll kill us—just like the worthless pigs we are. We’re just butchered—like that.” The pigs stamped their hooves in unison.

 The girl submitted to the pirate captain, her faces one of many horrors one night as she awoke screaming from fright. Laying down again, the girl whimpered, but remembered she didn’t have to stay here. If she had to swim to land thousands of miles away, so be it. But how’d the animals know she was an evil woman? Did they know just by her attitude?

She was just a pirate captain, alright, but the girl got up, going over to the rim of the pirate ship. Hearing the waves crash against the pirate ship and into the water again, the girl looked over and up.

“Yes—I mean, aye, captain?”

“So yer not tired, eh?”

“No—captain. I’m not. I was down by the animals, and—”

“Did you train ‘em, or do I have to send you there?” The pirate looked her right in the eyes. It was like the night had cloaked this woman into mystery and trouble. The girl said that the animals below told her the pirate captain was evil.

A loud laugh soared out of the pirate captain’s mouth. “Them animals don’t know nothing! They be our friends in a while. Meanwhile, you’re taking good care of ‘em, aye?”

“Aye!” Every morning and every night, the girl would come down the stairs, relief washing the animals of their fear of the pirate captain away. Smiles stretched across their face as they danced, their hooves making noise but they didn’t care. Their friend had come back! The girl said with confusion in her eyes whether the pirate queen was really evil. The animals shuddered, some backing into their cages.

“Yes, yes!”

The girl doubted this, but said this all to the pirate queen. She smiled non-sinisterly, a thin pair of lips going upwards. “How do you like this here trip, eh? A blast, I would say!”

The girl looked the pirate queen full in the face. The pirate queen scanned her rag-covered body. “Aye, yer going ter be my rag-covered, gold collecting crewwoman!”

Laughing, the pirate queen returned to her quarters, slamming the door. The girl went back to bed, curling up as best she could. Rubbing her arms as much as possible, she strived to warm herself but it was useless. She sighed and then fell asleep. The next morning, seagulls cried every which way. They squawked and landed, some pirate crew lunging for them to eat for breakfast, plunging their small knives into the heart of these creatures, greedily eating the innards and then upchucking them into the sea, growling for something sustainable. While the crew strived to eat breakfast that wasn’t the stomach of a gull, the girl went below deck. The pigs snorted hello, but the girl’s eyes bulged.

 “Girl, you better be training them animals right!”

“Aye!”

The pirate captain’s voice called out to any pirate crew who would listen to ensure they’re looking for another place of booty. As the crew’s voices all rang out in obedience and reverence, the girl whispered, “I’m sorry, but we must have something to eat—”

The pig’s eyes widened. “Traitor!” It snorted, backing into its cage. The girl tore into a seagull one night, gorging herself on such squirmy flesh and juicy innards. When the girl returned to the animals, they all guarded themselves, steely eyes glaring. The girl pleaded for their friendship, but she was interrupted by the slow marches of the pirate queen’s steps down the wooden stairs.

“We had a deal, no?”

“Yes, pirate queen.” The girl turned around, her eyes on the floorboards. She tucked her hands behind her back. “Please! I’m doing my best—”

“Yer best is doing my bidding, girl!” A blow to the back of the head. The pirate queen made her do double shifts if she didn’t train those animals! Soon, the girl, mad at the animals, just grabbed a parrot, threw it outside and commanded it to fly back with a message in a bottle.

It squawked that land was abroad, but the girl knew it just said that out of fear of its mistress. When she went back, begging the pig to forgive her for wanting to turn it to bacon, the pig sighed. When the parrot landed, the girl told it to go search for a message in a bottle. The parrot took off, squawking that they were all friends still.

Back in the captain’s quarters, the pirate queen planned the best route to take since her bumbling idiots of crewwomen didn’t always get their acts together when it came to directions. The door creaked open slightly, and the pirate queen threw out an order for the girl to go make her dinner.

“Slop, captain! We just have slop!” The pirate queen heard her own stomach growl.

“Then fetch me a pig!”

“But the girl’s friends with these animals. We can’t butcher them—”

“My orders will be carried out!”

“Aye!”

 But the pirate queen was outraged. She whipped back her hand, whacking the girl on the face. The leering animals all uttered angry growls and snorts!

“Stupid girl! Dressed in rags. You’ll die and be buried deep in the sea, where no one will be able to see your corpse again!”

The girl grabbed a nearby bucket. The pirate queen threw it aside, saying the water just represented her and then laughed as the bucket—her also—crashed against the wall.

“Can’t even beat a pirate queen, can you? Stupid—”

The girl dashed away. Soon, the crew was wasting away, and the animals weren’t faring much better. The girl, salivating to the point where she wished her spit became a hamburger, told the pirate captain they couldn’t live on fish and coconut milk forever. The crew’s whining and complaining turned the captain into a brutal woman.  A black metal crowbar beat the back of anyone excusing themselves —

“We need to dethrone her.”

Every crewwoman looked at the girl that night at the table. One spoke up. “Who’s the best pirate we’ve got?”

The girl looked around. “Me?”

Everyone nodded. They vowed they’d never eat each other. Planning to roast the pirate queen over a fire on a spit. Some nodded voraciously, greedily sucking up the conversation. The girl thought to herself. If they overthrew the captain, who’d guide the ship? The animals would have either die or be eaten. The girl’s eyes almost turned teary-eyed when she thought of her only friends. But she needed human friends. She couldn’t just cry over the animals becoming poop.

She returned to the crew. While the crew slept deeply that night, the girl went over to the rim of the ship. A creaking sound was made, but the girl didn’t turn around. “What do you want, pirate queen?” No aye, or yes, ma’am! Or yes, Your Majesty!

“You better address me as ‘captain’ jus’ like the rest o’ my crew!”

“Well, I would if—”

The pirate queen looked right at her. “You want to befriend the crocodiles, too?”

“Yeah, and the alligators and the seagulls. They’ll all be friends with me!” This girl was bold! The pirate crew started waking up, and backed the girl, lanterns and gas lamps all around. The pirate queen let a smile creep up her face.

“You all go ahead and bond. I’ll be in my quarters!”

With the pirate queen soaking up her little so-called victory, the girl returned to the pirate crew, all swearing vengeance on the pirate queen, but the girl said she wasn’t a vengeful person—she just wanted to know what she was doing here as a pirate. The pirate queen showed up again. “Going to bed, nocturnal animal?”

“When I want to, Ms. Greedy--"

The pirate queen spun the girl around. “No one talks to me like that!” Bringing out two swords, the queen and her subject dueled, the girl having a hard time handling the sword given her. Twice she fell, and the other two times she had hit the queen’s sword, she hit it so hard her arms were like jelly when the queen said she wasn’t worth it, and ventured into her quarters, as the girl saw them, to go to sleep until the next night. The girl got up early that morning, telling the pirate queen that she had done her duties, even duties no other pirate had thought of. Hitting land, the girl watched the pirate queen greedily snatch the gold into bags. When she went to the pirate’s quarters one night unannounced, the girl said that the pirate queen wasn’t doing anything but going from one place to the next, robbing. What a stupid life!

The pirate queen smirked, inserting a silver earring into her ear. Another ear received an earring, and she whistled to herself as she returned to her desk, mapping out the direction in which this pirate ship will take me, she said. I know where it will take us, the girl said. Where? The pirate queen demanded.

“To an island amassed with gold—gold everything!”

“Yer right. So’s when we get there, we’ll have everything. So loot it up and we’ll take it away—”

“Captain, how are we going to eat the gold? We’re dying as it is.”

The captain stormed out of her quarters, stopping when she saw all her pirate crew on the floor, stomachs flat or bloated, ribs sticking out. Dead seagulls’ feathers lay all over the deck. The girl looked up at the pirate, and the pirate commanded them to find an island of food.

The pirate crew got up, instantly making arrangements to be ashore on an island.

“Thar she blows!”

Coconuts, lush fruit and vegetables all green and juicy and pungent in smell. Steak and rice and porridge, oatmeal, crackers, grains, beans, milk, oats, dates, figs and sugarcane turned into peppermint sticks all filled the pirates with joy and relief. They ate for weeks, feasting on such delicacies. Puddings and mashed potatoes and lemonade and spring water all—

“Blast this meager food!”

The pirate queen commanded her crew to give her a king’s banquet from some island far off, but no one heeded. Years went by. Coming upon the pirate queen’s quarters, they saw her sucking on a chicken bone and casting it into a bucket overflowing with chicken bones. Loads of food were on the table, wine abounding in some flasks. Starving again, the crew growled their vengeance. But the girl said no.

The eyes of the crew bulged, and then they all turned to the girl. She said that she’d rather—

“Steal for us!”

The pirate queen ignored them, eating greedily, tormenting them with a berry-stained mouth and a full belly. That night, the pirate queen said for the girl to be hanged that very morning. The pirate queen invited the girl into her quarters. “Close the door.”

“Aye.”

“Give me my crew back, traitor. Yer turning them girls against me, eh?”    

“Not until you give your crew some food. You don’t want them to starve.”

The nerve of this girl! The pirate queen said nothing. Weeks passed, and the girl’s crew, who only listened to her, protected the food that once was hers from the pirate queen. The girl had to slaughter some pigs for bacon, and shave some horns off for drinking flasks for the milk, coconut and water. She soon found herself owning some of the parrots. She trained all the animals to give news, fetch things and watch for predators. Wars happened, the crew winning every one of them. Parties abounded, but the pirate queen was ignoring everything. That night, the pirate queen stood with the girl.

She smiled her little smile, her eyes narrowing. “You don’t want nothing to do with me or my crew, is it!” After the pirate queen retreated into her quarters, the girl thought, I’m out of here!

 The girls feasted. The girl, full stomach and cheerful face, stood with the pirate queen the next night. The pirate queen looked at her full in the face, eyes locked onto hers.

“I’ll miss everyone.” She said.

The next morning, she said goodbye to the crew, the pirate queen, swinging in her hammock in her quarters, watched her leave through a window. Soon, she thought of all that gold she stole. That girl came to the queen’s mind every single day.

The girl knew she would make her a second in command. The pirate queen envied this woman. She fed her crew. She fed the animals. She stole. When the girl came back, the crew celebrated. The pirate queen trusted her enough to take them to that island of gold. The pirate queen gloried in her wealth.

“Yer something else, girl.” The pirate queen threw a smelly, dirty hand on her shoulder one night. The girl saluted, thinking the pirate queen’s eye sparkled—

“Get the rigging done. And some breakfast in your stomach, eh!”

Soon, a message in a bottle told the girl had to go home. The crew became depressed. The girl said she’d return.  

 One night, the girl saw her in her quarters. The girl hid, but the pirate queen mumbled that she saw her. The girl entered, seeing a sparkling twinkle in the queen’s eyes. Dashing off to do as she was told, the girl was glad her crew’s stomachs were full.

As full as the ship’s pounds of massive amounts of gold and jewelry filled the ship’s captain’s quarters.