New Years Resignation

It didn’t strike me what day it was until I flipped on the news. How could I have forgotten? Christmas was only a few days ago. New Years, looming over me like the ball that would drop at midnight later today. Normally I wouldn’t care, it was an excuse to stay at home and lounge about, but this year I’d made a list. One that I’d resolved to take care of over the course of the whole year, except now my year had been condensed into a day. Not even that, checking the clock, it was already 1 PM! I’d slept in! Only eleven hours to sort everything out.

I scrambled back to my room, throwing open my bedside drawer and sifting through it all, pulling out a crumpled up piece of notebook paper. I’d been saving it for when I had some more time. Straightening out the paper and pressing down on any wrinkles, I retreated to the living room, placing it down on the coffee table and heading for the kitchen. Some food and a drink would give me the energy I need to blaze through the workload. I threw together a sandwich and grabbed the first drink I could get my hands on, slumping down onto the couch as I took a breath. My eyes glanced up at the clock. 1:15 PM. I’d already burned fifteen minutes!

No more stalling, I was going to destroy this list with time to spare tonight. First up on my list; visit Nana more often. Faster than I’d ever moved before, I already had on my shoes and jacket as I reached the door. I turned the doorknob when suddenly I remembered. Nana didn’t live nearby. She lived in Oregon, I lived in New York. I mean, I could certainly try my best to run it, but it’d definitely be next year by the time I made it. I don’t think taxis or trains could take me halfway either, so I’m back to square one. I returned to the couch, defeated as I munched on my sandwich. The bread was stale, rubbing it in more.

Just as I was content to give up, an idea came to mind. Visit doesn’t necessarily mean I need to be there in person, just that I’ve been there in some way. I could send her a picture for the time being. She’d be more than happy with that. I grabbed my phone and took a quick picture of myself with a grin. Certainly I could just send a text, but I don’t think it counts unless the picture is physically in her hands. I’ll just mail it to her directly then. I set the photo to print in my office and went over to check it, picking the largest size I had for Nana to enjoy. My printer must’ve been on the fritz though, because after waiting for five and then ten minutes, only a small portion had been printed. With no time to waste I’d just check on it later, I returned to the living room.

Next on my list was simple, I wrote down a list of movies and TV shows I had wanted to watch from the previous year. The only problem was the list was a lot longer than I originally thought, I’m surprised I could fit so many on the page. I definitely could get through a few movies and episodes, but I’ve only got like ten hours now. I needed to be more creative. Judging the size of the room and the amount of things I needed to get through, the answer was obvious. I needed more TVs and screens to watch all these things. Fortunately, I had one in my bedroom already, and another old TV screen in the closet. My laptop could have a movie on it, and my old box computer can probably run something. To top things off, my phone could handle the last of the workload. It took some time and more effort than I expected, but I managed to drag everything into the living room and set them up all around the couch with some extension cords. Each screen had a different movie or show on it, and at this rate I’ll be able to watch six times as many things.

Sitting back down on the couch I checked the clock again. My ten hours had dropped down to nine and a half. No big deal, just needed to keep the pace up. I ate the rest of my sandwich and started chugging from the bottle I’d grabbed earlier. That hit the spot and gave me the energy I needed to tackle the next task. Third on the list, “try and drink less.” Suddenly my drink sat like a chunk of metal in my stomach. Oops. With a heavy heart, I took the bottle to the kitchen and dumped the rest of it out. These really do get harder and harder.

After that trial it was time for the next. Try out a new look. I rolled up my sleeves. Okay, next on the list. Get outside more often. Not a good time for that right now, next. Go for a run. Later. I need to start doing more at a time if I’m ever going to get through these all. Guess I’ll try out a lightning round of sorts and we’ll see what happens. Drink more water, keep a journal, compliment someone once a day, and try exercising.

I fetched a journal from my office and a water bottle from the kitchen, popping the cap off

 as I paced about the living room. Scribbling down what I’d done for today was easy in concept, but it was harder to do when chugging water and doing lunges around all the tv screens in the room. Despite that I managed to do a full lap of the room, sucking the bottle empty of water and air, and stopping in front of a mirror to compliment someone.

“You’re doing great,” I told myself, “keep it up.”

All four were crossed off the list right away. Directly under “try exercising” was “stop multitasking so much.” Noted and marked. This next one was going to be tough, I could tell. “Try baking a fancy cake.” I’d never baked anything before, I was only really proficient with the microwave, but I couldn’t stop now. Everything on the counter was thrown and pushed aside, some of it falling to the floor.  Flour and dough and sugar and eggs, and so many other things came together as I slammed the tray into the oven and cranked the temperature up. All I could do now was wait. Following this resolution was an easy one, finally, “relax more often.” I happily slumped back into my spot on the couch and watched between my six movies and shows.. This was more like it.

I didn’t even realize how comfy I was until a terrible odor assaulted my nostrils. Something sugary and smoky. The cake! I’d fallen asleep! I rolled off the couch and scrambled into the kitchen, swinging the oven open as a plume of smoke filled the room, only beginning to disappear as I opened a window and turned on the ceiling fan. The cake was a lot harder than it started off, smaller too. But it was technically cooked, and I’m sure decorating it would make it less horrible. It would also cross off the next thing on my list, which was to be more artistic. After pushing the mess on the counter aside I brushed and sprayed the shriveled up cake with some whipped cream and sprinkles I had laying around, making it the prettiest bit of charcoal I possibly could. Needless to say, it was awful, but in an artsy kind of way. That’s another one off the list. The last one was to try and be less messy.

With a sigh I tidied up, cleaning the counters till they shined and reorganizing the cupboards while I was at it. Nana would be proud of a kitchen like this. She’ll be even more proud once I send that picture to her. I felt more than sure of myself now as I gazed up at the clock, only to choke on my expectations. It was 11:45! Fifteen minutes left to do the ones I’d skipped! There was no time to waste, I ran to the printer to get my photo, but it was still printing. I watched it like a hawk eyeing a mouse, looming over the device for every agonizing second as the last pixels of the photo came out one after the other. 

The second it was done I yanked the photo from the machine and grabbed a pen and paper, starting to fold it up into the shape of an envelope with some tape to keep it together. It was 11:55 now, and I needed to get to the post office. It was a few blocks away. Barging out the door, I took off sprinting down the sidewalk, trying to write down her address as I did. Now that I think about it, this covers the other two resolutions I had, I just needed to post this!

My legs were burning now, and my phone showed that it was 11:59, but the post office was just across the road. With a final burst of energy I sprinted across the pavement and lunged for the mailbox, pushing the letter in the slot and slumping against the big blue box as my phone went off with a Happy New Year message. My goal was complete and the whole list was crossed off. There was only one thing left to do. For my new New Years Resolution, I’ll think about it tomorrow.