October 31st is always a time for scares. Two friends in high school, Millie and Cole decide to go to a graveyard to spend there Halloween night in 1990, what could go wrong? At Cole's house there watching movies while his parents are trick-or-treating with his little sister Sally. Millie is fine with staying at his house all night watching horror movies, but Cole has something else in mind. 3 movies in and it is already 10 p.m. Cole's parents are back and his sister is passed out on the couch from all the candy she ate. Millie puts on another movie as Cole watches from the couch on his phone waiting to see what she put on. When he hears music he looks up to see 'The Nightmare Before Christmas' playing. He looks at Millie and rolls his eyes, "really? this movie why?" Cole asks while smirking. Millie smiles and says "why not? we've already watched 3 scary movies, scared your sister with one of them, and anyways it's my turn to pick the movie since you picked the other 3" Millie stats while pointing a finger at him.
At the end of the 4th movie Cole is ready to leave, so he gets up and drags Millie with him. "Where are we going" asked Millie, "Were going out, don't worry it will be fun" Cole replys. Halfway to the cemetery Cole wants to go to Millie gets suspicious about the area knowing exactly where there heading. "Cole im not going to the cemetery at midnight" Mille says worriedly "Oh you'll be fine it's not like anything will happen" Cole says more excited than ever. "Its a cemetery Cole, have you never seen pet sematary, or Night of the living dead!" Millie states. "Stop being such a wuss" Cole says, Millie stops talking and tries to not be scared.
When they get there Millie automatically wants to leave, but Cole doesn't let her. "Come on Millie you don't want to leave me here alone do you?" Millie stays quiet for a second before answering "Well I guess not...fine i'll stay" Millie dramatically says while rolling her eyes. Millie keeps her head up and carefully listens incase anything were to happen. Cole reads the gravestones as they walk down. One catches his eyes a little more down from where he stands. Millie isn't paying attention when he leaves as she's turned around looking at a tree she saw move. When she turns back around and sees Cole is gone she freaks out looking everywhere.
Cole goes to the grave he saw and reads the name 'Zack Payton' it reads. But the thing that's off is that it looks like it has been disturbed and has a blanket and pillow, he gets brought back out of his thoughts to Millie yelling at him. "You left me alone how could you!" She yells at him, "Millie calm down, i'm sorry I got distracted. She calms down a little but is still shooking up from that.
Cole looks back at the grave and the grave wondering why there's bedding. They hear something behind them, they both pray it isn't what they think it is. Cole slowly turns around to see a tall man in all black standing behind Millie. Cole's eyes widen as he grabs Millie's wrist pulling her behind him. She sees what he's looking at and almost starts screaming but she's in such shock she cant even move. Cole looks to the side yo see a branch, 'it won't be the best but it might work' He thought. He goes to grab it, but the man grabs it before him. Cole is still holding Millies wrist as he pulls her with him trying to get out of the cemetery.
Millie new it was a bad idea to go there and she was right. As they run the man isn't to far behind them, Millie is still in shock not knowing what's happening. The man isn't to fast, but Cole doesn't know what to do so he's jogging instead of running for his life. If Millie wasn't there he would be out of the graveyard all ready but he doesn't want to scare her more than she already is. Cole looks behind him to see the guy is gone, he slows down and looks for something to grab. To his luck he finds a metal rod, he runs to it and hides with Millie behind a grave. There both out of breath, but they are both trying to be as quiet as they can be. Once they catch their breath they hear footsteps. Millie tries not to cry when she hears this, while Cole is figuring out what to do.
Cole jumps up and hits the guy in the head with the rod. Millie goes to find something to protect herself, she remembers she has pepper spray and a switchblade in her small backpack. Millie grabs both and runs back to Cole, when she gets there she sees the man on top of Cole with something on his neck. She runs over and stabs the guy in the side. immediately the guy grabs his side as Millie grabs Cole. The man looks at Millie and lunges at them but she pepper sprays him. He falls to the ground, and Millie runs with Cole out of the cemetery. As soon as they leave Millie calls the cops telling them what happened. When the cops get there they arrest the man who is known as the brother of Zack Payton, Zane Payton. Millie turns to Cole and playfully hits him "I told you it was a bad idea to go to the cemetery" Millie says acting mad, "Yeah, yeah whatever it was still an adventure" Cole says while smirking. Millie laughs as they walk back to Cole's house to explain to his parents why they were out until 3 am. When they get to Cole's house they see the lights on and look at each other knowing they will get scolded for being out so late. Now they know not to listen to Cole's crazy ideas.
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2 comments
I got given your story through the critique circle. Well done on posting a debut piece. This had lots of good ideas and moments of tension and terror. I am not good at grammar and spelling but there were some mistakes I noticed. Stuff like new instead of knew. You should type your piece up on Microsoft word first or a similar programme and use their tools to help you with spelling and grammar. Then cut and copy the piece over. I do that; it helps me out. If you do a second piece and you should, it is easy to see your passion. Leave a message...
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Thank you for the feedback, I really love to write but grammar and spelling are not my specialty's. I want to be a book writer but im only 14 and im using my moms account, this helped me so thank you so much!
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