What happened to this life??????

DEE IS FREE NO DEE IS NOT FREE

Well, that's the main question, and why not since that's the main question? The dee I know is really innocent and so full of energy not sure how this fullness became so many compromised characters. Maybe because there was so much to happen. The girl who was a free bird and knew no limits trying to part the world with surprises of yes “Girls can do it” to the notion of “There is nothing I cannot do” This character and daddy's girl never knew she will ever be afraid of people and relationship. The day she finished her doctorate and her Indian cultural family started looking for a groom she knew it was the next chapter of her life. But not the chapter which is a separate book because that chapter she was writing and the chapter which got written are two different versions. Life was not the same, she got married and everything as such was good. But she had to start doing compromises and adjustments. It was not very nominal and right from day one she felt the “LOVE” part is not even in this book she is trying to write with a stranger for some reason the groom so well fit culturally was not fit for DEE. And it's not that Dee was fit for him as well as there were some unseen differences and some gaps which to date are not clear to Dee but they are there and this created a drift.

This story played for 25 years and is still in play. In these 25 years if two strangers compiling to each other only one thought was true. They were not made for each other. /time produced memoried two kids and lots of bad plus good moments. time never stops so does Life so both were on a roll and by the time stand still DEE was completely a stranger to herself. Kids were loving cute smart but had missed that family connection. why no one knows but in 25 years of this combined life we built a house with four corners and four strangers. 

What could have been different? What was possible…this question is not ‘maybe in the next life’…Maybe in Dee's next life, she will identify this will not work way early and let her free spirit soul knock out a few relationships to become bold and beautiful. Dee could have done what she will in her next life for sure- not force her to think it is all right, we can work it out, it is going to be ok…NO in my next life as soon as I know this is not working I will STEP OU. 

There is NO MORE KEEP TRYING in my next life! I am glad I met my Dee of the next life!!!

DEE AND DADDY- ALWAYS TOGETHER AND ALWAYS FULL OF POWER

This is the equation Dee lived with all her life, the meaning of life meant to be happy, to be full of life, and to be very very happy. She never knew that sadness can trail for days and that there can be sunrise and sunset with the sadness deep in you. This was the Dee who made everyone laugh and the family bond was so tight with these lighter moments in Dee’s life. grandparents and cousins and uncles ad aunts they were all so close and tight-knit. just like an ideal Indian family is defined in books Dee’s family was like this. So when they were together they were tight and when they parted they knew they will meet again soon. With this culture and mindset, Dee grew up thinking family is everything and yes there were many more aspects of life but family is family. 

education was a plus in /dee’s family with everyone on Dad's and Mom's side having degrees in medicine, law, and many more. She decided to do a doctorate and her mentor was one of her dad's side uncles... She loved herself and everything she did. She was good at sports, she did theater she wrote poems and she had a bucket full of friends. Friends who could be counted on and are still in her life!! This Dee knew how to maintain a relationship…well this quality became a powerful sword for herself as she always believed it will be ok, it is fine, I should not give up. but after marriage, these few lines did not work ad it made the free bird Dee into a woman who can't even recognize herself now. 

Dee was lost in all the duties she did except one- the wife's duty, that was done but there was o love so it was a hurtful relationship. Did it work No, did it bother yes every day. But what happened to that Dee who was so bold? why this Dee suffered? The dee she knew no suffering, had just laughed all her life before marriage how come she became the character who was sad from sunrise to sunset… Really like seriously Really??

so now what…

Well Now when Dee felt ‘maybe in another life” she realized there is a possibility, there is new next life and then she remembered all those moments which had created the original Dee…she realized how far has she come and how much molded this Dee is…that heart full of love, the girl who made stories out of nothing and made everyone so full of life, the girl who was a powerful by herself needed no one to prove that, who had never said no to anyone and had so much of life within that people use to love her company…this girl in few years had completely forgotten who she was as her new form was way far from the original form. In this journey she had lost so many things, so many qualities and so much of that real Dee factor that it's incomparable to even think of this new Dee with old…

but now she knows 

In next life its not Maybe …its really going to happen in 

Dee’s next life she will make her own decisions all the time and if something does not work she will come out of it that INSTANCE…as you never know MAYBE (THERE IS NO) NEXT LIFE!!!!!!