Spirit Finds A Way

Ever wake up having the feeling today is the last day you’ll live? That’s what happened to me. I felt the warm sun penetrating the curtains, telling me it’s time to get up. Then it happened. As I sat up on the edge of the bed to stretch, I saw my spirit was no longer just outside myself. It was standing across the room trying to break the tether that binds us. That’s when I realized today will be my last. 

I know you think I’m crazy, don’t you? You’re thinking, no one sees their own spirit, especially when they are still very much alive, but I do. I can explain. Since maybe three years old, I’ve been gifted. I just feel it deep in my gut like a haunting chill of the grim reaper reaching out to grab your soul. I can’t explain why I feel this way, but I do. Shortly after experiencing it, I will see the spirit of someone who is soon to pass . 

The first time it happened to me, I was visiting my great-grandmother at the nursing home. The doctor advised my mother to come before it was too late.

 “It’s time to say your goodbyes. She is hanging on by a thread.”

As we entered the building, I noticed several of the elderly had their spirits standing close by them. I could see a rope or tether that tied them together. When entering my great-grandmother’s room, I saw her lying in the bed, but her spirit was across the room watching her. The badly frayed rope had only a thread or two left. I understood from that moment what the doctor meant. I also wondered if he was gifted, too?

My great-grandmother’s spirit waved to me as the last goodbye was spoken. I watched as the final thread was released. Then she faded away. After that, I noticed I could see other people’s spirits standing next to them. Sometimes they would drift too far apart and almost lose their connections. 

In case you are wondering? The answer is yes. I’ve been able to see mine since that day. It’s usually hiding right behind me, hanging on tight. Once you’ve seen it, you can’t unsee it. Every time I see my reflection in a mirror or glass, it’s there. I found comfort in the fact it stays close until today.

Today it is keeping a distance from me. I try to wish it back to me, but it shakes its head no. It shows me our tether becoming frayed. That’s not what terrifies me, though. Today, I don’t feel gifted, but rather cursed. I don’t know exactly how or when it will happen. I only know today is the day. 

So now what will I do? What would you do if you knew today is your last day? Would you embrace the day living life before facing death head on? Would you curl up in a ball, hoping to die in your sleep before the final thread breaks?

For me, I will face my death and, who knows, maybe somehow I can reconnect the threads before the end. I have seen it happen before. Once I saw a man get hit by a car. He and his spirit flew in separate directions. At the moment the tether was stretched to the breaking point, his spirit grabbed hold and tied it back together, pulling itself closer to him. The paramedics were able to bring him back from the dead with the relief of his spirit. 

I wish my own spirit felt that way. Instead, it looks like it is ready to depart. I’m not sure what it’s big rush is but I’m going to enjoy my day while I can. First, I need to call work and let them know I will never be returning. Then, I will drain my bank account. It takes money to make the most of my last day and I can’t take it with me when I’m gone. 

Next? Skydiving. Absolutely terrifying, but what a way to go. I’ve always wanted to take that leap, but I’ve always been too afraid. I’ve got nothing to lose now. 

I board the plane and the instructor checks my parachute multiple times. He tells me he will connect to me before the jump, but before he has a chance, my spirit betrayed me leaping out and so I follow. The fall through the air was exhilarating, but I had to catch my spirit before the tether was pulled far enough to break. After all, the day has just begun. At the last minute, I slammed into my spirit and pulled the ripcord. I’m not ready to go yet, I scream. It fights me the whole way down, but I make it in one piece, feeling the rush of adrenaline coursing through my veins.

My spirit takes off running, and I have no choice but to follow. Ahead is a train barreling down the tracks. I jump in my car, feeling it is the only way to stop the tether from breaking and again get there right before it breaks. My spirit and I fly through only seconds before the train hits the railroad crossing. I want to shake it to death, figuratively of course, but it shows me the fraying cord that binds us has only a few threads still connected.

I take my spirit to a local seafood restaurant. We’ve never eaten lobster or clams and today seems like the best day to try. While I enjoy warm hushpuppies, my spirit chose the biggest lobster in the tank. 

It’s placed in front of me along with oysters on the half shell, fried clams and jumbo shrimp. I can’t wait to dive in. The waiter was kind enough to show me how to use the different tools to crack the shell and left me to eat. then oysters are not my thing, I quickly decide, as my spirit points at the lobster. I’m not ready for it, though. The clams melt in my mouth and I could keep eating them all day, but my spirit is intent on me trying the lobster next. I crack open a huge leg and suck out all the meat inside as I smile at my spirit. It turns and sulks until I grab up the shrimp and start devouring it. 

Something funny started happening. I feel my throat swelling shut and can’t seem to breathe or swallow. My spirit looks giddy as my eyes roll back in my head and I collapse on the floor. Lucky for me there is a doctor in the house that realizes I am having a reaction to shellfish and stabs me with an epipen. An ambulance is called to take my spirit and me to the hospital for observation. 

What a day it’s been, but I’m still here and so is my spirit. So maybe I had it all wrong. Maybe you can cheat death and my spirit will be stuck with me for longer than I thought.

While we were leaving the hospital, my spirit wanted to stop by the nursery to look at all the new babies. It was nice to see all the new babies lying next to their spirits, but now it’s time to go home and figure out how to get my job back tomorrow. As we’re getting on the elevator, we hear a code red down at the Maternity end of the hospital. I jump out of the way as doctors and nurses go running by. The elevator doors slam and I see my spirit is no longer with me. The tether is stretching until it breaks and I collapse on the floor of the elevator.

Ever wake up having the feeling today is the first day you’ll live?