Jack once again wakes up from his nightmarish dreams and sees in the clock that he is already late to reach his office and so without any further delays he reaches office as soon as possible completing all his stuffs and fortunately he has reached office before CEO and hence takes his seat but soon he is informed by peon that CEO has arrived and is calling him in his cabin and soon he too reaches in the cabin of CEO and as soon as he enters in he starts hearing some kind of voice which he ignores and as soon as CEO sees him , he starts shouting at him as it has been almost one week but still he haven't submitted the working report of his upcoming project in which he is the team leader but Jack anyhow convinces him and gets out of the cabin only to hear the same voice again which he again ignores but the once again as he takes his seat he hears an unusual kind of voice as if someone is speaking inside his mind but still not paying much attention to it he just ignores it and after completing his shift he comes back home again but while driving as well he is able to hear the voices in his mind which he thinks that it is result of his less sleep so he decides to sleep as soon as he reaches home after having food and he does so when he reaches home and straight away goes to his bed after having food without falling prey to any other traps which eats his sleep out The next morning he wakes up in a happy mood as he completed his sleep today and once again he reaches his office but again the same problem starts when he is on his way to the office and he again starts hearing various kinds of voices in his mind and the same thing too continues in the office because of which he is unable to concentrate on his work and with each passing day now his problem is getting worst as now the voices are getting more and more which plays in his mind like a tape recorder but everything gets out of control when one day he attends a dress code annual party of his office where he hears so much voices in his mind that he falls unconscious in amidst of the party and opens his eyes in the hospital where doctor tells him that it's nothing serious but he is just suffering from stress due to heavy workload maybe and hence he tells him that he should ready for few days in hospital itself and hence he too decides to stay for few days in hospital with the advice of the doctor and surprisingly the voices in his mind stops now and after few days he gets back to his home thinking that he is fine now But he suddenly comes across a cemetery where someone is being buried where he too goes to pay homage to the dead body and once again the voices in his mind starts playing like a recorder which irritates him so much that he runs away from there and reaches home and while on his way to home he keeps on hearing the voices , so finally he decides to meet his family doctor and he tells him everything to which his doctor tells him that it's just because of stress and nothing else that he is hearing or believes to hear something which is Kind of people's talking inside his mind and hence he just writes few medicines and suggests him to take it regularly and hence once again Jack is left hopeless without any help and no sooner he gets out of the clinic again the voices start in his mind , so he reaches home and after having food and medicine he tries to sleep and suddenly he again hears a voice but it's just a single voice which amazes him as he never heard single voice since the problem started with him , so he decides yo track down the voice and gets out of his room but there he is unable to hear any voice and when he again come in once again the voice starts so he puts on the light to see what's exactly the matter is to which he only sees his younger brother sleeping on the next bed beside him So the next day he tells his family members to wear the same kind of clothes as of him and surprisingly his idea works and he is now able to hear the three different voices in his mind and which makes him realise that he have developed some unusual kind of powers and just to cross check it and making it more clear he again plans something and while on his way to office he goes near everyone who is wearing same kind of clothes as of him and as usual he is able to hear about their thoughts in his mind and in office also he tries the same and gets successful and finally he gets sure that he really have developed a special power in him which is that he can hear the mind of people's around him who are wearing same clothes as of him and finally he comes to know that it's not a problem for him but a kind of boon which will help him out in his life ahead and hence now he slowly slowly starts living life in the same way listening to the mind thoughts of others who are wearing the same kind of clothes as of him Because of which he also comes across the thoughts in mind of the girl whom he has crush on in the office and thus decides to propose her and luckily she also accepts his proposal and hence now he starts living his life happily listening to the minds of others people's in his surroundings who are wearing same clothes as of him
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1 comment
Hi! I’m here for the week’s critique circle! I hope you get chance to check out my story - The Cobalt Crusader’s Turn. I really liked the storyline you have here! I thought the idea of being able to hear people’s thoughts if they were wearing the same clothes as you was a really original idea. My main critique would be to include punctuation, most importantly full stops. Without full stops to turn your words into sentences, it’s very difficult to read. I hope this was helpful! Keep writing 🙂
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