Authors note: This title was suggested to me by Amany sayed. Thanks i liked the title a lot.
Previous title: The Girl Who Studied
The ritual of child marriage was very bad. Girls used to get married at a very young age and weren’t even allowed to study. These girls were expected to do house chores. The same thing happened with a girl who had exceptional intelligence. She was very good at maths and science but after her marriage she was not allowed to study.
It was only two days since she had come. Her stuff was still being moved to her new home. Her books had just been moved. She loved her books a lot. She kept them in
her room and went to the market. It took her one hour to fetch the stuff she wanted. She bought the groceries, vegetables, fruits and returned home quickly. After she returned home, she saw something and started to mourn.
It was her books that were burnt and were kept in a corner. Books were like best friend to her. She was very furious. She started to ask everybody about who burnt the books and what was the reason to burn them. Finally she got the answer. It was her father-in-law who had burnt them. She walked straight to him and started.
“Why did you burn my books father?”asked the girl. “Because they were of no use to anyone and what’s kept in studying? You should learn the house chores and take care of the house.”replied her father-in-law. “That is not fair. I want to study!”said the girl. “No never! I will never let you study. I will not allow you to break the family’s tradition.”shouted the girls father-in-law. She started to cry and went to her room. She sat there crying for hours and hours when finally her husband came from his work. “What happened? Why are you crying?”said her husband. “Father-in-law burned all of my books.”said Satyavati(the girl). “Which books?”asked Satyavati’s husband. “The math and science books” said Satyavati. “But why did he burn them, did you ask?”asked Satyavati’s husband.
“Yeah I asked him but he said that there was no use of them in this house and women can only do house chores”said Satyavati. “That isn’t fair! I will talk to him about this, and you can study as much as you want to.”said Satyavati’s husband. “Thank you!”said Satyavati. They went to bed and slept in no time. Next day when they woke up, Satyavati’s husband straight went to his dad.
“Good morning dad!”said Om(Satyavati’s husband). “Good morning!”said Om’s dad. “Dad I wanted to talk to you about something”said Om. “Go for it then”said Om’s father. “Why can’t Satyavati study? She is very good at maths and science. She can make us feel proud. She has the perfect skills in her” said Om. “I said her a no, she can’t study. I will not allow her to!” said Om’s father. Om’s father walked away after saying this.
Om also went to the market to fetch some books for Satyavati. He returned home after sometime. He had just entered the room when Satyavati asked curiously “Did he say a yes? Will he allow me to study?” “He has said a no”said Om. Satyavati was quite sad after hearing this news.
But she did not know that a good news was waiting for her. “I have all the books you want.”said Om and gave the books to her. “You can study secretly and no one should get to know about this.”said Om. The smile on Satyavati’s face reappeared. As days passed Satyavati started to study. Whenever her father-in-law used to pass in front of the room, she use to shove the books under the pillows and act as if she was chanting some mantra.
She appeared for many exams and used to pass with a good amount of marks.
22nd December 1901- It was the day when It was Satyavati’s one of the biggest exam of her life. She went to attempt the exam by saying that she was going to her mothers house. She went to the exam room, solved her paper and returned back home quickly. She was very curious about her results. If she failed, she would not get admission in 10th grade.
30th December 1901- It was the result day. She went to check her results. There was a big queue. She could see the ones ahead her who had seen their results disappointed and crying. She was very nervous about her results. It was her chance now to see. She started to see the results from the last place. To her astonishment, she had topped with 95.6 %. She went straight to her house and thanked her husband.
Suddenly her father-in-laws phone rang. He picked it up. “Congrats!”said someone on the phone call. “But why? Asked Om’s father. “Your daughter in law has topped in the 9th standard exam said the person on the call. “What nonsense!”said her father-in-law and kept the phone. He straight went to her room and asked “Did you apply for the 10th grade selection exam?”asked her father angrily.
“No”said Satyavati(a lie). “Don’t lie in front of me! Pack your things and get out of the house!”said Satyavati’s father-in-law. She left with her husband. They started to stay in a rented flat. As days passed, Satyavati applied for many exams and passed In them. She was now becoming famous for passing with good percentage in every exam.
26 November 1902- This was the day when Satyavati was going to give her 10th exam. She was very scared. Om had done her admission in a nearby school. This was the exam which would make her future because in those times, people didn’t get a second chance to pass their 10ths. She went to the examination hall 15 minutes prior. She was very nervous.
The exam papers were distributed. It was quite easy for her to solve. She completed the paper in 1 and a half hour when the time given to solve was 2 hours. She submitted her paper and went to her home. Om was quite surprised on seeing her come before time.
14 December 1902- The exam results were out. There was a long queue as usual. People were seeing their results and going. It was her chance now. She had ranked 2nd by scoring 89 %. She was quite happy about this. She went to her husband, he was also very happy on hearing this. After some months, she applied for the job in the British news channel. She was selected and was later appointed as the head of that department. After seeing her success, her father-in-law was ashamed of himself and called the couple back to their original home.
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78 comments
It is a nice read. Title is fine. Original title would have been good too. A couple of things - go back and check your first sentence. Who is going to be your audience? People from your culture or people from all over the world? As writers we have a responsibility to write universally. In other words, write so everyone from all over the world can read it and get it, and understand it. Spacing is important between paragraphs, and as Akshat suggested, hitting enter after every conversation would be helpful - that makes it easier for u...
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You conveyed the message that women were not allowed to study and progress but are treated like less important people well. I was confused at the dates used in this story. In 1901 and 1902, there would not have been news channels - there wasn't TV. Work on punctuation of dialogues and using complex sentences to avoid choppy paragraphs. Keep up the good work.
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Thank u
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Great job! I liked the descriptions, really nice!
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Thank ya
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Lovely story Hriday! Great job!
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Thank you
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Namaste, Hriday! when writing a story, there is one rule that must be generally followed: show, don't tell. For example: "She was very good at maths and science but after her marriage she was not allowed to study. It was only two days since she had come. Her stuff was still being moved to her new home. Her books had just been moved. She loved her books a lot. She kept them in her room and went to the market." Every line here is an example of 'tell'. Try to 'show'. You could say "She loved dancing with numbers and dipping into the worl...
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Thank you for your advice. Will surely follow it. And sure
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Good job! I agree with Ashat Atal and Brooke D (and perhaps others, I didn't scroll down that far), I think the story would have flowed a little better and would have looked better if you pressed enter after a different person speaks. This story was very creative and I enjoyed it a lot!!! Fantastic job.
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Thank ya almond milk
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Wow! This is such a sweet story and I love how much the girl accomplished despite her adversity. If you wouldn't mind, could you read one of my stories? This is my first time in a competition and I would love feedback! :)
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Thanks and sure
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Hi Hriday! I read your story and I liked it. Just a thing though: I think you should pay attention to the punctuations. Some ar missing and some are used incorrectly. Other than that, I loved the message of your story. Would you mind helping me by reading my story, "The Foolish Painting?" It is under the same contest. Thanks and Have a nice day.
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Thanks. Sure. Same to you
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A remarkable message was delivered. A girl only need the support of her husband, after God (of course), to pull through all the difficult situations. I would be really grateful if you will check out my stories.
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Hi Hriday, sorry for the delayed response! I enjoyed the story very much; it touches on a difficult topic that we can see in the real world... :(
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Thank you Deborah And no problem for the late response
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Hriday, the overall story line is incredible. I was so nervous at the end waiting to read what her score was going to be. I am so glad her father-in-law learned his lesson. I love it when the antagonist changes their view points by the endof a story. Good job, kiddo!
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Thanks a lot
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Thank you Waverley stark
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