The April Fools

 Bill’s Journal Entry for 04/01/2021

If you’re reading this, congratulations! My name is Bill McKenzie, and somehow you’ve stolen my journal. Kidding!

Anyway, I’m writing today because this is a joyous occasion for me, as this is the day… of fools.

The one day in April I actually look forward to, as I can admit I’m something of a court jester, but more in the current era. I’ve been thinking this plan out since last April when my buddy Charlie thought it’d be funny to switch out my ice cream for mayonnaise. Seeing that stupid grin on his face, coupled with cruel laughter, set in stone the plan I have for payback.

So, for a year now, I’ve been closely watching Charlie for any ideas for this colossal prank. For many months, I had nothing good to use, that is until we had a conversation over lunch at the coffeehouse here in town. Here’s a rundown:

“Billy, I gotta tell ya, this mint chai tea tastes absolutely disgusting,” Charlie said to me with disdain.

“Oh it does?” I said, hiding my smile from him.

“Yeah, don’t ever get it for me if you’re a true friend,” Charlie said, chuckling a bit. He trademarked that stupid laugh.

The rest of our talk was plenty of ammunition for what I will do today.

He doesn’t like his chair to be cold? Well, a little ice pack in the cushion never hurt anyone.

Plenty of things for the first glorious day of this month.

Charlie’s Journal Entry for 04/01/2021

Hey there, fans of the internet, it’s Charlie, Charlie Reed. Today’s April Fool’s, and I’ve got quite the script flip for my best friend Bill McKenzie. That dunderhead thinks that I’m not aware of his pranking plan, but oh, am I ever. I sneaked a look at some of his journal. The amount of time old Bill has been planning this is impressive, no doubt, but of course, it will be foiled today. We’ll see who has the stupid laugh.

Cassie’s Diary Entry for 04/02/2021

Hey there, readers, my name is Cassie, and I have a part time job at this coffeehouse. Lots of people have come in and out, but I’ve become quite friendly with two guys specifically, Bill and Charlie.

We get along pretty well most of the time, unless it happens to be April Fool’s Day. God, those two go at each other, trying to outdo the other’s pranks. Yesterday was no exception, and made for a silly spectacle.

Here’s what went down:

I was on lunch break yesterday, as were Bill and Charlie, but because they always have this pissing contest on the 1st, it just felt awkward.

I was sitting down at a table when Bill and Charlie walked in, and came to me.

“Hey, Bill, Charlie,” I said smiling at them.

“Hey, Cassie,” the two said in unison, exchanging snarls and nasty glares.

“Why don’t you guys sit down?” I said, resting my hands on the table.

“You’re right, Cassie. Bill, why don’t you sit on Cassie’s left, please?” Charlie said with a barely noticeable smile.

“Why?” Bill asked.

“Does it matter?”

“No, I guess not,” Bill grumbled. Before sitting, he had a smug grin on his face, expecting Charlie to jump out of his seat from the cold pack he placed underneath the cushion.

Instead of howling, however, Charlie sat down with nothing seemingly bothering him.

“What? What happened?” Bill said a little too loudly for Charlie’s ears.

“What are you rambling about? Just sit down,” Charlie said, snickering to himself when Bill wasn’t looking.

“Oh whatever, this is not fun- Aah!” Bill cried out, both from shock and the ice pack underneath his cushion.

“What’s wrong, buddy?” Charlie said nonchalantly, with a visible smile this time.

“Oh, you know what’s wrong! How did you know about my ice pack?”

“Guys, keep it down, people are staring at us,” I said, even though people always looked at them like they were complete lunatics.

“I have no idea what you mean, Bill. Just get another chair,” Charlie said, pointing to an empty chair a few feet away.

“You’re up to something. You always are on April Fool’s,” Bill said, twisting his mouth, but ultimately gave in and grabbed an empty chair.

“So, Cassie, what do you- Aah!” Bill shrieked louder this time, but rather than lash out at Charlie, he simply said,

“I guess you won again, Charlie. You always do. I hate April Fools!” Bill yelled before storming out, leaving only me and Charlie, who was practically busting his gut laughing.

“I’ll be right back, Charlie. I’ll make you a drink on the house,” I said, walking away to the back where the drinks were made, but I heard Charlie say,

“Really? Why thank you, Cassie. It’s a win-win day for me, isn’t it?”

When I got to the dispensers, I remembered what Bill told me one day about a drink Charlie despised, but I couldn’t think of it right offhand.

“Mint chai. That’s what he said,” I thought to myself. Was it wrong to serve Charlie this drink? Maybe, but I wanted to help Bill in some small way. Truth be told, I like him more anyway.

After I finished making it, I made my way over to Charlie again, and set the tea down, which was in a plastic cup and straw so he couldn’t quite smell the mint.

“There you go. Enjoy,” I said, walking swiftly back behind the counter.

“Ooh, free drink. It just gets better and better,” I heard Charlie say so confidently. Not long after, I saw him spit out the tea and shout,

“Mint! Dammit, he got me, didn’t he?”

Eventually he stood up and walked out with a look of shame, perhaps feeling guilty about what he and Bill were doing, and he faded from view. And so ends the tale of April Fools Day at the Calico Café. Hopefully, now, they’ll stop their asinine pranks. Happy April Fool’s!