Unfocus

What are you doing? Why don’t you pick one and stick to it?

You’re friend Irene is frustrated because you didn’t attend the practice for shuffle and contemporary collaboration dance.

Did you forget it again? Because obviously, you are. And what are you doing right now? Oh, you’re learning vector illustration. Is that why you sign-up for a free 7 day course of graphic illustration design class? Really? Are you having fun making a collage with those colorful images? Right.

You look eager with your new hobby. May I ask how many days you’re engage with your new hobby? And how long you’re going to do that? Looks like you downloaded a lot of apps about illustration. I hope you do well. Have you done anything-…

“Triss! I’m looking for you!”

I was caught in my chest in shock when someone called my name out loud.

“Erin. Hi. You made my heart jump my friend,” while my hands on my chest.

“I’m sorry. I have a good news for you and I am so excited to show you this,” handing her certificate to me. “Look. I’ve got an award in spoken poetry event. Isn’t it nice?”

“Yeah, I’m happy for you. You deserve this award,” rubbing my forefinger on the seal.

“Thank you. I’ve never been recognized before. I wish that I’ve dive on this art at the beginning.”

She stares at me for a while.

“I haven’t see you in club. Are you okay?” with curious face.

“Yeah, I’m okay. No worries. I’m okay,” giving her a wide smile.

Honestly, I’m not. But of course I keep it myself.

“So why you’re not coming in the club anymore? Looks like you’re in a deep thought when I saw you.”

“Oh. That? I really don’t think I’m good at poetry. I don’t have lots of ideas to write so I lost my interest. But I’m busy now. I’m doing graphics design,” proud to say.

“That’s nice to hear. Well, good luck. I wont stay too long. And Triss, thank you for introducing me to this amazing poetry world. It keeps me from my anxiety.”

She taps my shoulder and left.

Going back to my thoughts.

Where am I again? Wait, I haven’t start my first vector illustration. I need to start now so I have something to present tomorrow in online class. But I feel lazy. Sigh, procrastination strikes again. How long am I talking to myself?

Scrolling stock images on my phone. I found photos of my pets. Who am I gonna pick? Kukru, Mimiyaw or Dogaro? I think am gonna p-…

“Hey Triss, look at these photos I had taken on my trip. Do you think these will be accepted? I’m really eager to submit these. Most of the photos I’d taken previously was rejected. But I have a good vibes this time. I’m excited to add these to my portfolio.”

Oh, shoot. Speaking of portfolio. It’s not updated yet. I haven’t submit any photographs for the last few weeks because I took dance lesson with Irene.

“Wow! These are amazing pictures. For sure, these can be accepted,” half smilingly to Robert.

“How ‘bout you? Have you had any photos accepted?”

“Oh, like you. All I submitted was rejected. No luck at all. I’m actually thinking if I’m going to drop photography.” Keep smiling at him.

“Are you sure? Photography needs a lot of practice, so, I advice you should continue until you becomes good at it. You just need time.”

I look on the other way. “I will think of that Robert. Anyway, thank you for a good advice.”

“Anytime. See you ‘round Triss.” He gave me a warm hug.

“Oh by the way Triss. I like the close up of different leaves and petals you post in Facegram. I think you must focus on that.”

He left after I nod. And then I realized something.

Oh, shoot! My plants! I haven’t visit it, like since forever? No maybe only 2 days. I need to go back home. Now. Maybe they are so thirsty. Oh, what should I do. My orchids are expensive.

I walked so fast like I’m in a marathon competition.

I need to be faster, but I can’t because of my low stamina. I feel I’m going to pass out if I didn’t slow down . If only I’d continue my karate and boxing lesson. My body will work flexible and energetic.

I’m near. Just a little bit faster, please.

I slow down when I reached our house. I gasp for air and breathe deeply and slowly. Should I also sign-up for lamas breathing lesson? But they require to be active in their organization after. I don’t think I can do that.

Honestly, when I found something really interesting, I’ll be all in and focused in a month or less. Then I find myself moving away with it. I’ll start wanting to do something different. Sometimes, maybe back to the next thing again or even the same thing from before. That’s why I can’t blame Irene if she got mad at me. She paid for our dance tutorial.

I’ll tell her I will attend next time. But right now, I need to check my orchids.

Oh, wow. Who put screen on top of it. I like the idea. It’s like a mini green house. The petals are moist. Looks like someone else is looking for them.

“Ehem.”

I look over my shoulder to see where that sound came from. A female figure I’m not familiar with.

“I’m your new housemate. My name’s Adeline. And yours?”

I turned to her and look to a beautiful woman coming closer.

“Hello. I’m Triss,” with shyness, I turned back my eyes back to the plants.

“I water them everyday and I told the landlord to put some screen. It’s bad for orchids exposed in direct sunlight. His plants will surely died in few days,” she explain, thought that the landlord own it.

“Thanks for keeping my orchids alive.”

“It’s yours?!” she exclaimed.

“Yes.”

“Oh, I thought it’s landlord’s…”

“No. It’s mine. Again, thank you for keeping them alive.” Giving her a wide smile.

“No worries. Can I spray them everyday? My grandmother have lots of it. I was the one helping her and I miss it.”

“Sure. Is that why you know a lot about orchids?” I exclaimed.

“Yes.”

“I see.”

“Uhm, I don’t know how to express my gratitude, but would you like to have a drink?” at last. I let it out.

Say yes please.

“Sure. My unpacking can wait.”

We head to a near coffee shop.

We talked about many things until I brought up my problem.

“And now, I’m into a new hobby… again,” as I say, feeling ungrateful of my attitude.

“You just need to be focus. And maybe, those hobbies are really not for you.”

I looked at the floor. Thinking that being focus is what I don’t have.

“Instead of attending new hobbies. Why don’t you attend seminar on how to manage brain stability. I’m not saying you’re a psycho or anything. I mean, like anger management, there’s also organizations giving free advice and everything. You know.”

I smiled at her.

“What?” her forehead creased.

“You sounds like a rapper.” I laughed a bit.

“Geez. I’m sorry.” And she laughed, too.

“Yeah, I think I’ll take your advice.”

And I mean it.

It’s time.