It Was Him

I woke up to the sound of beeping. It was rhythmic for a brief moment, but as I felt myself waking it was speeding every so slightly. I opened my eyes and found myself staring at a ceiling. I then realize I’m laying in a bed. In a hospital bed. The beeping sped up again as I felt myself begin to panic. I felt the oxygen monitor on my finger. I wiggle my finger inside of it. I then noticed a blood pressure cuff on my arm, a monitor to check my heart rate attached to my chest. and oddly enough, the last thing my brain realizes is that there is a goddamn tube going down my throat, I panicked even harder.

“Nurse!” I hear going further away from me. “Nurse, she’s awake.” I couldn’t place the voice. Why am I in the hospital? Who is in here with me? So many questions. The nurse rushed into the room and asked me for consent to remove the tube, I nodded yes. I was eager to get this out of me. She began to pull and it felt like this fucking tube was never going to end. My head was so foggy from medication, I barely couldn’t function. I wished to ask my questions, but my brain couldn’t form a coherent sentence and my throat was dry and sore from the tube. I felt a hand grab mine.

“Chloe, can you hear me?”

Who the heck is Chloe, my name is...I don’t know.

I still gave a nod, because I can indeed hear him. He’s a man with a soft and soothing baritone voice.

“Good, it’s me Nathan. Do you know where you are?”

I nodded again, in a freaking hospital. My head was throbbing, I reached up and felt there was a bandage on it. I took a deep breath. There was something else. My chest was burning. I placed my hand on the spot that was beginning to burn even more. It was sensitive to touch. It feels like I was stabbed.

“Do you know who I am?”

I barely could see through my cloudy eyes. All I could make out was brownish hair flipped over to one side and the jawline of a God. I shook my head no. The name didn’t ring a bell. I dont know who I am...or who he is. With each passing moment, I began to get more panicky. He squeezed my hand tighter. Which put me on high alert. I didn’t know this guy, I didn’t want him in here.

“Do you remember anything at all? Seems like you might have amnesia.” I pulled my hand away from his. We won’t know anything until the doctor gets up here. Just rest. He leaned over and kissed my forehead and I froze. Something didn’t feel right. “Leave” I tried my hardest to tell him.

“Honey, I’m your boyfriend.”

“No, go away.” I really wanted him to go. I was terrified. He gave me a look, I can’t describe it and walked away.

Within 30 minutes, the doctor arrived. I didn’t recognize him either.

“Good morning, my name’s Dr. Andrews, are you able to speak?”

“Yes,” I said very quietly. Nathan handed me a cup of water. I didn’t trust it. But I took a few sips and was able to speak a little better. “Yes I can.”

“Do you recognize me?”

“No. I don’t recognize anyone, I don’t even know who I am!”

Dr. Andrews pulled out a little flashlight and looked into each eye. “Hmm. okay. Seems like you got a bit of amnesia going on.” I felt numb to the idea. My heart rate began to go back to normal. The doctor went through all of his checks he needed to do. He looked at me and gave a reassuring smile.

“You need to stay 24 for hours for observation, then you’ll be discharged. Hopefully good ol’ Nathan here can fill you in about what happened and well, your life.”

“I don’t...care to know.” Fresh start maybe? This was all too much. The heart monitor started going crazy again. The doctor left the room, and a nurse came in shortly after and put something in my IV.

“This will help calm you down sweetie.” She was a sweet, plump lady with short curly white hair. She was the nurse that came in here the first time to get the tube out.

“My name is Yvette, you can call me from the remote attached to your bed if you need anything else. The cafeteria is gonna send some yogurt and soup up here for you. You just get some rest honey.” She left the room and I felt the medicine feel my veins, I calmed down slightly, at least enough to not feel like I’m having a heart attack. Nathan started pacing the room. He was seeming pretty nervous, which was making me nervous.

“Nathan, can you get me some more water?”

“Um, sure.” He took the cup and left the room, my pitcher was empty so he had to find some, so that should occupy him long enough for me to think straight. My name is Chloe, I have a boyfriend named Nathan. That’s all the info I have. It appears I’ve also gotten anxiety, hope that goes away when I leave here. Where am I even going to go, do I have a home? Do I live with anyone? Why do I feel so nervous about Nathan? These are basic questions, but maybe a fresh start is what I need. Erase what was, and replace it with what is. Maybe that involves breaking up with Nathan, he just gives me bad vibes. But maybe that's because I’m stressed.

The doctor entered the room, “You’re free to go! Just take it easy, make sure you’re changing out the bandage on your wound. Nathan can help you with that if you struggle.” Dr. Andrews patted Nathan on the back, “I do hope your memory comes back and you remember this great guy, he’s stayed by your side since you got here. Here’s your discharge papers, remember, just relax, nothing strenuous, or that wound will not heal, and may end up infected and you’ll be right back here.”

One the car ride home, we were both quiet, I had a lot I was thinking about, maybe he did too.Who wants a girlfriend that doesn’t remember you, and doesn’t really want to remember you. Things were a bit awkward for now, I didn’t want to know anything. Just maybe who my parents are and where they were. And apparently the house me and Nathan live in, is actually mine, he didn’t tell me I live in my parents old house, and thankfully it's paid off. I need to find a job, but can’t so shit until this gash in my stomach heals. According to Nathan I was attacked while at the park, I went there to read. I didn’t even want to know that, but he told me anyway. Pissed me off a bit but I guess knowing where my wound and shit came from is important. At least I don’t remember, that would be traumatising, and I wouldn’t be able to handle that.

We arrived at MY house and we went inside. I took all of my stuff to MY bedroom. And sat it down. I came into the living room to see Nathan lounging on the couch.

“Please let me tell you about us.”

“I can’t. I feel like this is a new beginning for me. A factory reset if you will.”

“What we have is amazing. Just look around.” He pointed at all of the walls. There were so many pictures, of me and him, of the dog, which I don’t see. Which was a bit disappointing, a dog is worth remembering. We did look happy in most of the pictures, the more recent ones, my smile looked forced, but Nathan’s was huge, and his eyes looked so happy. I can’t break his heart, he seems to really love me. I turned to him, to which he was now standing behind me.

“See, we’re in love, WE can have a fresh start, how about that.”

Now I feel bad, I don’t want to break this poor man’s heart, maybe the reason I feel so uneasy around him is just because I don’t recognize him, which is the obvious reason, I’m just looking too deep into things.

“I guess we can start over.” I sighed and looked up to him. He was gorgeous, the way his brown hair fell into his face, his piercing blue eyes, this cupid both mouth, and of course that godly jawline. I’d be an idiot if I didn’t want to try to make this work, I mean he’s literally the only person I’ve been around since being awake.

“You’re mom’s coming over by the way, she knows you won’t recognize her, but she still wants to see you, she can’t believe you made it.”

Oh great, I get to meet another person, but I’d like to know my mom again at least. My heart feels happy when I think about her. Wish it felt that way for Nathan, maybe it will when we do this whole starting over thing. A soft knock sounded on the front door. Nathan motioned for me to lie down to rest, and he got the door.

“Oh my God, baby, you’re really here, I was so scared, but you’re here and you’re alive.” She was a short little lady, long white hair, had my face, just aged, and gracefully. She grabbed my hand, knowing she couldn’t hug me.

“Hi...mom.”

“Do you recognize me?”

Tears filled my eyes, I wanted to, “I’m sorry, I don’t.”

“It’s okay sweetie.” She brushed a piece of hair out of my face and cupped it. “I just wanted to come see for myself. If you need anything you can call me, anytime. And I do hope you remember eventually. I love you.” She kissed my cheek. “Thank you Nathan, you’ve been an angel, update me often, will you?” he gave a nod and walked her to the door.

A month has passed and I’ve started “dating” Nathan again. It’s not going so well. I’m a whole new person, and that person clashes with Nathan immensely. He’s too bossy, and I just can’t handle it. He’s also started acting weird. It’s just the way he watches me, like I’m some sort of prey, instead of his girlfriend. Then he always asks where I am, and continuously texts me asking what I’m doing, where I’m at, or who I’m with. He says it’s because he’s overprotective and doesn’t want me to get hurt again because he could barely handle it last time. So many red flags, but I ignored them, because I just assumed it was my paranoia. He also keeps trying to tell me things about past me, and I try so hard to hush him. I want nothing to do with my past, I just feel like deep down, my past wasn’t good, it was filled with sadness, anger and fear. I don’t think that new me can mentally handle it. But I no longer feel safe, I have to dump Nathan, those bad feelings I had a month ago haven’t gone anywhere and just have gotten worse with his behavior.

Two months later, I’m single and ready to mingle. My stab wound is completely healed. I open up my dating app to see if anyone is interested. Three matches. Two of them were pretty decent looking, the other guy not so much. He screamed creeper. I read up on both of the other guys profiles to see which one I have more in common with. The first guy, Liam, seemed to have the most in common with me, and he was pretty cute. I sent him a message. He was tan with black hair. His eyes were such a dark brown it was easy to get lost in them, even in a selfie. He replied back within minutes and we set up a date, for tonight, just to grab a drink at the local bar up the street. I got ready as fast as I could, but something didn’t feel right, I felt like I was being watched. My paranoia has gotten so bad since I got out of the hospital, the doctor said it could be deep seated PTSD from the attack, and he fears it might get worse, especially if I end up remembering it.

I got to the bar and Liam was already at a table with a beer. I approached him. “Hey Liam!”

“Wow, you’re even more beautiful in real life!” He stood up and pulled my chair out for me. I still couldn’t shake the feeling of being watched. It was extremely unsettling.

“Everything okay?” Liam had a concerned look on his face.

“Yeah I’m fine!.” The waitress came over and I ordered a long island iced tea.

Liam and I sat there and talked for hours, I started ordering Coke after my second long island iced tea. I was liking this new start, and I was definitely like this guy. He’s such a sweet guy, not conceited, funny, and charming. Charming is always worrisome. But I had a good feeling about him.

“Need a ride home?”

“No I only live a block away, I don’t mind walking.”

“Okay, if you insist.” We both left. The light of the full moon lit up the whole street, so I could at least see. But that spooky feeling didn’t do anywhere. This was a pretty small city, and from what I hear was thought to be safe, until my attack.

Once I get home, I change and crawl into bed. The dream I had was intense, and scary. It felt so real. It had to be about the night I got attacked. Am I remembering stuff now? It was me, on a bench reading. There was no one else there. I got up to head home, But I was grabbed, and dragged into the woods, he had a knife in his hands, I was struggling, and I pulled his scarf off of his face, but the face was blurry. I sat up in my bed and screamed. Was that a memory? I don’t want to remember that! I was sobbing and going straight into a panic attack, I grabbed the pills my doctor prescribed me. I grabbed my phone and dialed my therapist, luckily she was available.

I had another date with Liam, and chose to walk home again, this time I heard someone behind me. I went as fast as my legs would take me, but the footsteps got closer and closer. The sky was darker this time, only a crescent moon showing its face up there. Before I know it a hand was on my arm, and I was being pulled into an alley, I screamed and screamed, but here was no one but me and this person. It had to be the same guy that attacked me, was wearing the same clothes as in my dream, even the scarf. I struggled to try to get away, but the knife was out and jabbing towards me.

“Why wont you just die already!”

I recognized that voice. He gave up on the knife and had his hands tight around my throat. I reached at his face trying to grab the scarf. It took about four tries but I got it, and I was slowly fading, once I looked up at his face, the face in my dream came back to me. It was Nathan, and he wants me dead! I took all of the strength I had left in me and kicked him right in the balls. He let go, and I ran as fast as I could to get away. I ran back to the bar and thankfully there were some people still hanging around. I pulled out my phone and called the cops. It took three days for them to find him. And when they did, they put him away for a long time.

Six months, I get a phone call.

A familiar voice spoke, “Hello Chloe.”

No...