Earl Grey and Jasmine

The wind blew gently, caressing the old woman’s face as she walked across the flower garden to the wicker table and chairs set up under the old oak tree. The spring afternoon was particularly lovely as she noticed the peonies had finally come into full bloom. Peonies were her favorites with their big petals that looked like they were bunched together with hardly any room to breathe. She had plenty of different flowers in the garden; roses, marigolds, buttercups, irises just to name a few and she loved the way the sun filtered through the trees surrounding the garden making a hidden area that could not be seen from the road, reminding her of a secret place. 

Her secret place. The place she could go and remember. Remember the times she spent here with her mother as a little girl, having tea every nice weathered afternoon. Four o’clock tea was what her mother called it, making sure that the tea was Earl Grey and the cookies were cinnamon. The old woman reminisced as she eased her bones down in one of the cushioned chairs at the table, thinking about the years that had passed and how many thousands of times she had had tea here. 

The home health aide placed the tea set on the table with the cookies and made sure the old lady had her napkin. 

“Will you be needing anything else Miss Bonnie?” the aide asked.

“No Susan, I’ll be fine for a bit. I’d just like to relax and enjoy this gorgeous afternoon before dinner. I know you have some things to do before you leave for the day.” Bonnie replied.

“Okay, I’ll be back to clean up in about an hour. Will that be alright?”

“That will be perfect.”

As the aide walked back towards the house, the old woman removed the quilted tea cozy from the tea pot to pour her first cup of tea. She admired the old tea set, the same one that belonged to her mother, which was beginning to show signs of wear; a chip here and a chip there, but the beautiful butterfly design was still bright and colorful as it was when she was a child. She ran a withered finger over the fragile cup, tracing the blue and silver winged insect on its side.

Bonnie closed her eyes and took her first sip, feeling the hot liquid run down the back of her throat as the pungent smell of the Earl Grey filled her nostrils along with the smell of earth, grass and flowers. She could barely hear Susan’s footsteps crunch on the pea gravel path as she got closer to the house and knew that she was finally alone. She’s sweet enough, but my God, she likes to be up my backside all the time. I may be old but I’m not dead yet! The old lady irritably thought to herself. She opened her eyes and reached for a cookie and took a bite, relishing the taste of cinnamon and sugar on her tongue. 

Between the tea and the cookies, memories came flooding back to when she was a young woman again with her mother sitting across from her, looking prim and proper, but with that mischievous smile she always had on her face as if she had a secret that she was dying to tell her daughter. Closing her eyes again she thought of her mother, Judith. She had been a wonderful parent, taking the place of both parents since Bonnie’s father was never around. Edward was always off on the next great adventure to make money or lose it, depending on what scheme he got tangled up in. She had never actually missed him since her mother had always made her life feel so complete. She had not wanted for anything really, she had grown up with everything she needed; food, a roof over her head and unconditional love. A tear rolled from underneath her closed eyes and ran unbidden down her cheek, she missed her mama, even after all these years.

“Why is a pretty girl like you crying?”

Bonnie’s eyes flew open in surprise, as she focused on the figure standing behind the chair opposite of her at the table. It can’t be, it’s just can’t! Her mind screamed.

“You’re dead.” Bonnie said disbelievingly.

“That’s a lovely way to greet your mother. I thought I taught you better manners than that.”

She couldn’t believe her eyes, her mother was standing there in front of her with that same little grin on her face as usual, like she hadn’t been dead for the past twenty plus years. 

“Oh wonderful! Tea time! My favorite time of day.” Judith said as she gracefully sat in the chair opposite of Bonnie and offered her one of the extra cups. “I hope you have Earl Grey in the pot, nothing goes better with cinnamon cookies and stop staring at me like I have an extra head or something.”

In a daze, Bonnie poured tea into the cup that her mother offered her, remarking, “Well, how did you expect me to react?” eyeing her mother suspiciously. “I must be out of my mind, maybe I fell and hit my head or something, or maybe Susan mixed marijuana in the tea.”

“Bonnie Inez! Don’t talk about your help like that. I know I taught you better than that. My word! I’m gone for a few years and come back to my daughter talking like some common street urchin!” Her mother fumed.

“A few years? You died twenty-three years ago this coming August.”

“Has it been that long? Doesn’t seem like it, but then again when you are dead time has no meaning anymore.” Judith said with a smile as she smoothed a wrinkle out of the lap of her sapphire blue Victorian dress.

Bonnie peered at her mother, trying to figure out what was going on. She looked around the garden and everything looked the same as it did earlier, even her peonies were the same, nothing had changed, except the fact that her mama was sitting in front of her. The breeze was blowing from the same direction, the smells were the same of earth, grass and flowers with one tiny difference; she could now smell her mother’s jasmine perfume. 

“Do you see Daddy where you are?”

“Oh Lord no, you know your father, always off on the next great adventure. He’s still that same way but now he goes off with Jacques Cousteau. He still doesn’t have time for anyone but himself. But I’m very happy where I am, especially now since I’ve been given permission to visit my girl, even for a few moments.”

“Does that mean you have to leave?” Bonnie asked with a slight shaking in her voice. She didn’t want her mother to disappear just as soon as she got here. “I don’t want you to leave.”

“I’m not leaving right at this minute but I will have to go, I can’t stay forever even though I wished I could.” 

“What do you mean ’permission’?”

“When people die they leave earth in a way, like leaving one room for the next. You can’t see people who die unless they come back per se, unless you have permission to comeback. Like I did.”

“Huh?”

“You and I shared a very strong bond, a bond that not even death could break, therefore I was able to come back to see you for a little bit in the flesh, so to speak. Your father can’t do that because you and he don’t share the same bond. Do you understand now?”

“I think so, you and I were always together and now that you are gone, we are still together in a way….right?”

“Yes Pumpkin.” Her mother stated, calling her by her childhood pet name. “I am always with you no matter where you are, whether or not you can see or hear me.”

“You left in such a hurry when you died, one minute you were here cooking dinner and the next I found you on the kitchen floor. I didn’t even get a chance to tell you good-bye.”

“I didn’t get to tell you either my dear, I think that’s why I received permission to come back. To tell you good-bye. You know I love you Bonnie, I always have and that will never change, no matter where I am.”

Bonnie gazed at her mother, soaking in what she could, the way her mother’s grey hair was working loose from her bun and making soft tendrils around her face. The way the sun shone on her pink cameo pinned at the base of her neck. How she wished she could stop time and make this moment last forever.

“Miss Bonnie, are you ready to go back inside now?’ Susan asked. ‘I’ve completed my tasks and wanted to get the table cleared up.”

The old woman’s head snapped around to the side to see the aide standing there. She turned back around to see the chair opposite of her empty. Her mother was gone, but the cushion still had an indention in it where she had sat.

“Yes, I’m ready now.” Bonnie replied as she slowly stood to make her way back to the house. She breathed deeply in through her nose and could still faintly smell her mother’s perfume.