A story of a wrench

Like everyone else I had heard the King. His very own words. He had gathered us all in the town hall square. He told us a great danger was drawing near! His beautiful, beautiful daughter, Kunigunda, would be eaten alive! And by a dragon! I thought to myself, she wouldmost likely be eaten alive, after she was being barbecued by the dragon. That is, if my inside information of dragons is true.

- Unless! The king went on. Unless the national hero steps forward.

The one in whom I put all my trust!

But why am I talking about this to you, losers? You know as well as me that a hero hasnt yet been born in this land. Not this century, not the last.

Maybe he didn't say it exactly like that. But that's what i felt he said. You know, between the lines.

But I said to myself: I will prove the king wrong. I will be that hero. I will save the damsell in distress my own way. I will fight the dragon with my very own sword. I will be standing outside the royal palace and tell the king not to worry. I know, I will tell him, there have been several so-called heros here and they have all failed miserably. But now, at long last, you don't have to worry anymore!

I am here in my shining armour and riding my trustworthy MV Agusta F4CC. More trustworthy than any horse you can think of. It can easily make at least 200 mph in less than...

Wait a minute, you might say. Isnt this the middle ages?

Of course its the middle ages! So?

You are telling me there has been a ban on motorcycles in the Middle Ages?

Strange. I scratch my chin for full effect. No one ever told me there was one. You are telling me my precious doesnt exist? Well, here is news for you, my friend: he does exist and he is mine!

Like the other boys present during the king's message, we all walked away and felt we had just listened to our future father-in-law.

What could possibly stop a man of honour and valour, god- and king-fearing?

Nothing, is the correct answer, of course.

Only I must confess..

The tremendous faith in myself that I felt was bestowed on me on the Town hall square was as good as evaporated by the time I got home.

Normally I would feel I could conquer any enemy once I start walking over to my garage. No, not once I start walking, but once I start thinking about walking over to my garage. And when I enter the holiest of holy, I would almost faint!

There she is: my one and all, my everything! I would stroke her soft seat, her engine, wheels, handlebars..

But today I felt like I had t onaken a task on that surpassed even the power of my lovely Miss F4CC.

What was I thinking?

I still lived home, even though I was the oldest in our family. I had not done a single day's work all my life, unless helping out in the kitchen, once, three years ago, counts. I didn't have a girl friend. Not a particularly pretty one, anyway. I knew I could do more, and I should speak up for myself. Tell my parents, now I have had it! You cannot treat me like I am twelve anymore! That was..long..ago.. But the one time I tried to raise my voice in my parents' presence, I ended up mumbling something not even I could hear. - We cannot hear you! Speak up! And and i would leave and go to my room, while i said, ah, just forget it!

So me saving a princess? Not very likely.

Even so I made a plan. I could go over there, over to the palace, in my shining armour and my bike and hope the dragon got so impressed by both how scary I looked and well, the bike looked awsome..and the engine could really get so loud you were unable to even hear what you were thinking, and he would take off, the chicken dragon.

Please God, let the dragon be like that. Not too big... But also, of course, not so small anyone could just pinch it in the tail...

There was only one problem, I realised as i went over to the bike.

I couldnt make the bike start! I checked the oil and petrol. I had tried to make it understand what I was up to by kick starting it, running alongside it for about..nearly a mile. It felt like a mile, at least. But to no avail.

And there goes my big chance of becoming a prince. Or get some attention. My big chance of saying, Guess that guy wasn't such a big loser after all!

But reality bites, I guess.

Then I thought to myself, what would a hero do?

He would have tried to fix the silly motorcycle, of course. I wanted to be that hero, that motorcycle-fixing hero and now I went over to the garage. I was on a mission.

First i tried to pet the bike into working. I have never heard of anything complicated starting to work by petting it, but one time has to be the first. Obviously it wasn't to be this time..

So I sat down beside the bike and tried to think things through the right way and in the right order. I got up and tried to get the bike to work again.

How I missed the hum of engine, would i ever hear it again?

I looked all over the bike and there I saw it! Something had got stuck inside the engine. I needed a wrench or a screw-driver! A wrench, I thought, would be the best option.

Where was it? Ah, now i remembered: my neighbour had borrowed it. I got outside and started screaming: Gunnar! Gunnar!

Did I really scream? Didn't I just... No, I remember now: I screamed. Like I was in pain. Like the whole Universe had conspired against me. Why, God, or Gunnar, or who you are, don't you allow me to save my princess? Why do you hate us – me and Kunigunda – so much?

Gunnar had heard me screaming. How could he avoid hearing me, unless he was dead?

- What do you want?

- You know the wrench you borrowed..

- Yeah?

- Well, I need it now..

- What for?

- None of your business. I just need it.

- Just tell me.

- You will never understand.

We always had this «don't-you-know-it's-the-middle-ages»-talk and somehow I think Gunnar just loved it. He always gets a laugh out of it. He let's me fry a little in my own fat, so to speak, then he will go get whatever I ask him for. One day I will knock him on the head. Maybe I will use the wrench.

But not today.

So I go back to the garage and try for at least seven minutes to undo the screw that's preventing me from getting into the machine and remove what seems to be in the way of my starting the bike.

Then I realise I will have to do things all by myself. I make up my mind that I will walk all the way over to the castle. When the other guys haven't succeeded in saving the princess by riding a horse, maybe I will, by using the apostles' horses ( if that expression made any sense in the Middle Ages).

Overwhelmed by my reasoning, I go up to the garage door. Opens it and says to myself, Even though I am a hero and all..I wish I had a super power or something... But as it is..It's just me.

And I let the wrench I have in my hand, drop to the ground.

Then the strangest thing happens!

Behind my back I could swear I hear thunder..

I look up and it's lightening. Does it come from inside the garage or outside?

Contrary to Orpheus - at least if the Roman poet, Ovid, is to be trusted - who looked back at his wife, making her slide back down into the Kingdom of Darkness, I could turn around without risking anything.

And what else do I see but my precious bike? But more importantly: Now she purrs, like Gunnar's old cat, Simone.

And I say to her, almost like the dragon was as good as dead now: What are you waiting for?

What are you waiting for, Miss Agusta?

( note to reader: I know there were no motor cycles in the Middle Ages, but wouldn't it be pretty cool if it were?)