Manimals

“For the last time Anthony George Williams  III, get off the dining room table and stop wielding that fork- YOU ARE NOT A PIRATE!”

Mrs. Williams ran around the long oblong table trying to snatch the coat tail of her youngest son. It was a futile attempt. George ran around on the top of the table keeping just enough space between himself and his mother. He was squealing with pleasure the whole time. And why not, George was six years old now and he was the king of the castle, or the pirate ship…or whatever other type of vessel he imagined the large old mansion to be.

Mr. Anthony George Williams II  was never really around much. Nan didn’t need to wonder why. But he did make appearances at the yard parties. He was not as snooty as Mrs. W and even gave off a warm charm from time to time though like Mrs. W, he never seemed to really know what was going on. He was rather fond of his sons though. They had three including Anthony George III. For some reason once they came of age, they left home and seldom visited

Nan dusted the huge antique mirror on the wall as she looked into it and observed the tremendous spectacle that was going on. She had worked for the Williams for over thirteen years and nothing much seemed to surprise her anymore. But Nan was getting tired of it all. The long weekend gatherings with rich snobbish over educated snooties made her gag secretly and repeatedly. Nan called them The Human Chihuahua club.

Then there were long  winded stories that Mrs. W often shared with no one in particular, unless you counted Nan. There were too many to count. Nan was never addressed directly on these matters but when the house was all empty except for Nan, Mrs. W took on these occasions to babble and babble and babble.

Mrs. W once babbled about being the great great great grandniece of the Monarchy of Sweden. She swore on her mother’s grave that it was the reason for her lush blond hair. Nan had observed the empty vials of Whiter White hair coloring several times over the years in the trash receptacle.

On another occasion Mrs. W had babbled and babbled about declining offers from three advertising agencies to use her face on the cover of their Beauty Magazines. Nan often dusted and rearranged the magazine stand in Mrs.  W’s bedroom, bathroom and living room. There was enough imagination on those pages for anyone. Nan didn’t exactly doubt her claims but she did wander how the agencies might have over looked a particularly stark feature that characterized Mrs. W’s face. Poodle face is what Nan secretly called her.

But the worst must have begun six years ago upon the arrival of the little monster-pardon, little mister. It seems he squaked and squalled as soon as he set foot into the world. It was his way or no way. He particularly liked bossing Nan around; she didn’t like it at all but she complied with every ridiculous whim. There would come a day she vowed.

‘Brush my coat Nan’

‘Sing me a pirate song Nan’

‘Carry me-Carry me now to my tree house’

It was getting out of hand and stranger as the days went by.

“Nan! Nan! Oh for heavens sake have you gone deaf…NAN!!!”

It was Mrs. W.

Nan snapped her head around. She had gotten lost in her dusting and her thoughts.

“Yes madam, my apology.”

“You are a bit young to be going off in the head like so. Does Dementia go around in your family?”

‘Dementia?’ thought Nan trying to keep a straight face. ‘Does this old poodle even know what Dementia is?’ Nan smiled back at Mrs. W and shook her head.

That’s what it had been like for the last thirteen years. ‘Yes Mrs Poodle face’ ‘No, Mrs. Poodle face’. Nan wandered when enough was really going to be enough for her.

“Never mind. George needs some chocolate milk. We’re all out. Could you run down to the store please?” Mrs. W said as she turned to go.

“And steak! I want steak!” Anthony George Williams the III piped up. Seemed he had enough of running around on the table. Now he was accosting a large swan figurine with his fork jumping back and forth in front of it challenging it to a duel.

‘Steak? You’re really a cub aren’t you?’ Nan thought to herself .

“Yes madam. I’ll just change my clothes then.” Nan headed to the kitchen and then behind the large pantry where her room was located.

It was already after six in the evening and the sun was setting fast. It was winter and the snow lay heavily on the ground. The grocery mart was just two kilometers up the road. It was usually a good walk but the wind was whipping up. Nan pulled her coat tighter around her and picked up the pace.

As Nan shoved open the door of the grocery mart, the wind was kind enough to push it closed with a big bang once she entered. Nan looked back at the door, almost offended.

She shook the snow that had gathered on her shoulders and shuddered to try and warm up her body. That’s when she noticed. There was an eerie silence in the store. Nan looked up and down the aisles. There was no one there.

Nan walked over to where the two cashiers usually sat in front of their registers; there was no one there. But the office door just behind the registers was ajar. Nan felt the hairs on her arm pitch up. She turned to leave. Then she froze.

‘This is ridiculous. The monster- or rather mister- needs his chocolate milk and…’

Nan heard the creaking sound of a door. She didn’t think. She bolted back to the store entrance and made her exit. But once she got to the store front porch she halted again.

‘This is insane. What on earth has gotten into me. I have a job to do.’

Nan laughed at and with herself. She took a deep breath and was about to go back into the store when she heard it.

It was the sound of a baby for sure. The wind was picking up and snow was falling but she was sure she heard right.

Nan looked around to be sure. Then she heard it again. She ran over to a nearby dumpster and peeked inside- nothing. Then she heard it again. Nan moved slowly around the huge metal thing and then…there it was.

It was a bundle of beautiful wrapped baby blanket.

“How lovely! Why would anyone…” she was interrupted by the baby crying. It was such an urgent cry that she hurried over to the bundle, picked it up and began peeling through the layers of blanket.

Nan was dumbstruck when she finally came face to face with him. It was a boy she was sure- something about the size of the head; it was quite large with a protruding forehead with large tufts of hair in the front and on the sides.

Before Nan could say a word it cried out- no, it screamed out.

Nan was so shocked she almost dropped the bundle. She fumbled to hold him properly and finally wrapped him up tight again. Nan looked around. There was absolutely no one in sight. Not too odd since there seemed to be a blizzard brewing, but still strange.

“Why would they send me out on an evening like this?” Nan said aloud, maybe to the whistling wind.

She turned away from the dumpster and started to head back to the mansion. She couldn’t leave him there. When the storm passed she would figure out what to do.

But the storm wasn’t letting up.

The snow was falling harder and harder and Nan was getting colder and colder. Walking was becoming a task like hiking.

Soon she saw something ahead. The town ‘Steak and Shake’ Tavern was open.

“We have to stop until this dies down.” She said to the bundle in her hands. The baby boy seemed to be fidgeting around. Every now and again he made a shrieking sound . Nan hated to admit to herself but it was a bit annoying.

When she entered the tavern she was met by a tall slim looking man with pale skin and a long pony tail that did nothing to distract from his incredible balding front plate.  There was a woman wiping down a table in the distance. She wore a long gown that swept the floor. They were the only ones there.

“Come in, come in.” the man said.

“Thank you. There’s a great blizzard out there.” Nan said shivering still.

“Blizzard? I hadn’t noticed.” The man said.

Nan looked at the man and wandered if he was blind, or simply insane.

“There’s a huge blizzard out there! Didn’t you…”

“Oh come on now, we hear all sorts of stories here.” The woman said approaching the two.

Nan tried to focus on her eyes but was incredibly distracted by the immense cleft in her chin making it seem as though she had two faces on one head and two white balls of hair on her head.

“Do you have any milk? I have a baby you see and…”

“A baby? What are you doing with that? They can be so annoying you know” the woman asked almost disgustedly.

“Chocolate milk is the best thing for em.” The man said already bringing a large mug of something towards Nan and the bundle.

“We was just setting down for supper our selves. You're welcome to join us.”

Nan stared into the mug the man brought. It was chocolate milk. The bundle sarted to stir in her hands and Nan remembered the baby.

She started to unfold the blanket. The baby was doing the same. Soon they were face to face again. But…the babies face looked different. He seemed to have grown a bit. Was that possible?

Before Nan could decide, the baby grabbed the mug from the table and started slurping the chocolate milk.

“That’s a healthy boy you got there.” The man said.

Nan looked across the table. The couple was already seated and in front of each of them was a large T-bone steak.

“How…” Nan started to ask but stopped. How did they get to the table so fast she wandered but had no time to ask.

The baby in the bundle was doing something rather strange…again.

He thrust the mug onto the table and was now crawling out of Nan’s arms and onto the table. Nan couldn’t stop him and she didn’t know if she wanted to. She sat with mouth open wide stupefied at the sight.

That baby crawled over to the couple’s plates. He grabbed a fork and stabbed the steak.

Nan was about to pass out. That baby thrust the steak in his mouth and started to chew.

“That’s a strong healthy baby lady. He eats like a ‘George’. Wouldn’t you say so dear?” the man said.

The woman looked disgustedly at her husband. “what the devil would you know about a George.” She stood up from her chair abruptly, looked at Nan and shouted.

“Get that thing out of here-RIGHT NOW!”

The baby- or the George, if you prefer, looked back at Nan and started shrieking-“Chocolate milk NOW! Chocolate milk NOW!

Nan looked from the woman to the man, to the George. It was more than she could take.

Nan did the only thing she could in the situation. She raised her right hand, held it as far away from her face as possible, then she slapped herself- hard.

It worked.

Nan could still hear the shrieking sound of the baby but she was in darkness. Her eyes were still closed.

She slowly opened them up. She wasn’t in the tavern anymore. As a matter of fact, she was likely never in that tavern. She was in her bed, in her room. There was something else in her room too; it was the George.

“Get up Nan! Who told you you could sleep Nan? I want my chocolate milk now Nan!”

Nan stood up from her bed and starred at him. He starred back.

She walked past him and shut her bedroom door-forcibly.

The day of reckoning had arrived.

“I’ve got just what you need… Manimal!