Grandma Why?

 A little old lady named Edith but called grandma, sat down with her grandchildren. Two of the children sat snugly nestled in her lap and the other three squeezed up next to her as she opened an ornate box, a box of relics from her life. When she was a child grandma had begun filling the box with toys and items of importance because she had wanted to remember her life. As the years flew by less and less had gone into the box which she eventually forgot altogether. Now she was about to rediscover her childhood and early adulthood with her grandchildren.

Lifting the lid, they peered in. A white gauzy material sprung up as it inflated with air and grandma pulled out her wedding dress which was somewhat crumpled but still elegant in its own way. She smiled, patted it down and smoothed it saying to her grandchildren “This probably doesn’t fit me anymore because well...” She looked expressively at her stomach and then at a bowl of candy on the table and then handed the wedding dress to her oldest granddaughter Erika saying, “Please go hang this up in the closet.” The next thing she pulled out was a pair of high heels, after that came a pocket-sized sewing kit, a handkerchief with her maiden name carefully stitched in pink, a packet of letters that smelled of moth balls, a baby blanket that also smelled of moth balls, a pair of shoelaces, some old drawings, a picture of a stern frowning relative she did not remember, an atlas, and still more and more old things.

 As the children shuffled through the box, she looked thoughtfully at the atlas with her brow furled. She abruptly stood, dislodging two children (Charles and Amy) from her lap, and walked away. The five children fallowed judging from her focused manner that something of interest was going on. They fallowed her through the kitchen up the stairs and into her room. Slapping down that atlas on her bed she opened it to a map of the United States then drew a path with her finger from Texas (the state where they lived) to Oregon. She than traced it again but this time made more of a zig zag. Then she shouted, “Everyone pack up because we are taking a road trip! The kind of road trip which requires a lot of luggage.”

 The next four days were spent packing. The children who had no idea what was going on frequently questioned their grandma but her only response was always “‘Promises are like crying babies in a theater, they should be carried out at once.’ “. On the first day of packing, she gave the children a list of things to pack.       

1. clothing for cold weather

2. clothing for warm weather

3. a pillow and a sleeping bag

5. deodorant because you smell, and grandma loves you too much to allow that

6. toothpaste/brush

7. hairbrush

On the second day of packing, she bequeathed them each with a go pro camera. On the third day of packing Edith left the house and returned with a bus. When the children asked for an explanation, she cryptically responded with a smile, “Load your luggage in the bus”. On the fourth day they made 30 grilled cheese sandwiches, 25 peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, and 50 muffins to eat on the trip. Finally, they loaded onto the bus and began an exceptionally long journey. Curiously, the atlas was placed next to grandma’s seat.

 Because the children got no hints from their grandmother, they tried to figure things out for themselves. Gathering they discussed the situation. The only hints they had to go on were as fallows 1. Their grandma had traced a path on the atlas from Texas to Oregon. The path was zig zagged. Based on this information they concluded that they were taking a trip to Oregon in a roundabout way. 2. The change had come over grandma when she beheld the atlas at first. Maybe the trip was somehow connected with that, but they were not sure. 3. Grandma only responded to their questions with an odd quote which ran “‘Promises are like crying babies in a theater, they should be carried out at once.’ “Before that Grandma had been known to go into moods where she cryptically repeated a quote over and over and that was usually when she was trying to hammer in a lesson. They concluded that she was trying to teach them something. This was all Grandma’s fellow travelers had to go on. They were traveling across the country in a bus and did not know why.

When they stopped at landmarks along the way the kids realized that was why they were traveling in a zig zag. It was because they were stopping at the landmarks. Grandma strapped the go pros onto all of them. She winked and said, “You will want to have these precious memories on video.” Their first stop was the Grand Canyon. They enjoyed themselves and one of the children (little Edward) received the blessing of going viral on YouTube. He nearly died because grandma accidentally tripped him, and he fell off a cliff but thankfully grandma came to the rescue with her cane and caught him. He was incredibly lucky that happened because his siblings caught it on video with the go pros, and he went viral on YouTube.

 After that they visited all the national parks in Utah and did the most dangerous hiking trips you can imagine. In Utah Charles and Amy (the twins) were also struck with luck and went viral on YouTube when they fell off angels landing (a precarious ridge of rock) after tripping over grandma’s foot and were barely rescued by some impressive maneuvering of grandma’s cane. When they visited Yellowstone National park Grandma asked Erika to take a selfie with a buffalo. Erika found out the hard way not to get near a buffalo when it threw her ten feet into the air, but grandma rescued her by catching her and went viral. Paul was mauled by a bear when grandma accidentally nocked him out of the tree, they were hiding in. Thankfully, he survived because he too was defended by grandma. She jumped out of the tree and drove her cane into the bear swiftly killing it. At this point the family had four viral YouTube videos and was raking in the cash. Because of this wherever they went people pointed and whispered, “Those are the kids that have nearly died several times.”

As all those traumatizing experiences which were more than most families experience in a lifetime had destroyed their trust in nature, they played it safe and did not visit anymore national parks. Well, they did go to the red wood forest, but they stayed in the car and wrapped themselves in bubble wrap and because they were so carful nothing happened. They only person who did not seem concerned was grandma. She smiled and hummed a cheery tune. Lets just say everyone was grateful that the trip was almost over. Strangely they still did not know where the end destination was.

When they awoke the next day grandma the only one who was still excited about the trip exclaimed, “We are here!”. The children looked around bleary eyed expecting something grand and breath taking but instead the only thing clearly visible in a five-mile radius was a library. They stared at grandma, confused. She smiled and nodded “I had to return this atlas.” She explained, “I forgot that I had borrowed it as a little girl, and because I needed to keep my word, I brought you along so you could see the importance of keeping your word. After all ‘Promises are like crying babies in a theater, they should be carried out at once.’ When I first saw the atlas, I wondered how I could afford to take a road trip and pay the library fine that must have amassed since I borrowed this book fifty years ago but then I was struck with an inspiration. I would get you guys go pros, take you across the country, knock you off cliffs and such, rescue you, put the videos on YouTube, go viral, and finally make enough money from the videos to pay the library fine and pay for this bus.” The five children who had gone through so much stared open mouthed with awe, horror, and admiration. Without further ado grandma walked inside of the library and paid the fine which turned out to have only been five dollars.