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Creative Nonfiction People of Color Teens & Young Adult

This story contains themes or mentions of mental health issues.

"Hey God! are you there? it's me"....yes I am here you pig bastard, what do you want from me?...

Why are you laughing bastard, just tell me what do you want? come school with me.

Not again, how many times should I tell you that I am not a real god or something, I'm just an imagination of your mind!

"I know that god but it's fun to go school with someone then going alone, it's fun to talk with someone than talk to no one, It's better to be with somebody than be alone and think about endless things which don't hold any meaning."

Then you should make new friends whom you can talk to, whom you can share your pain, whom you can be with, and whom you can have fun with.

I can't do it god, because I don't have the confidence to make new friends and also I don't like people including myself because if we get only a friend and if he or she is too friendly with us then we start having expectations from him or her," we will be friends for a long time" and when after some time that friend says that we cannot be friends anymore, then our heartbreak but don't our expectations because when we get another friend then we start having same expectations from him and it doesn't end here god!

" Parents start having expectations from their children since when they born that they should do what their parents say because they have seen too many things than what their children have seen till that time and they want their children to understand this thing and do what they are saying, without knowing that what they are thinking is wrong.

But I cannot do anything about it because I am also in the wrong direction god!

"And not only me but most of the children who have expectations, like their parents will understand them when they will tell them but can't able to say anything to their parents like what they want to become in future and that thing is not related to doctors or engineer and what they like because of fear, shame or anything else are also standing in the wrong direction, because if they don't even try to struggle in childhood then they can't able to do anything in adulthood."

But I can't say anything to the children or parents because I am like them who is walking on the wrong path without trying to find the right path that's why you are here, doesn't it God?"

"You were looking like a pathetic person when you were talking, you are pathetic who can not do anything bastard.

Yes, you are right that people start having too many expectations from each other when they spend time together, parents have their expectations from children, children have their expectations from parents, a friend has expectations from another friend, a lover has expectations from his or her love once and one who prays to God has expectations from god.

Yes, you are right about it, they want that others do something for them, listen to them, stand for them or stay with them for a long time but if they don't do something for themselves, don't listen to themselves, don't stand for themselves, don't spend a long time with themselves then how are they expecting that other will do something like this for them? it's fun to see people who can't do anything for themselves and want a god or another person to help them.

And yes, you are half right about parents that they want their children to do those things which they are saying because they had seen too many things than children. They are completely wrong about it. But they don't do it because they want to but they do it because they want that their children should walk on the right path in the future and they want their children to grow as a fine person that's why I said, you are half right about it. But yes, they are wrong in the way they are doing it, If they really want their children to walk on the right path then they should let them feel what is called work and how much effort their parents put into the work that they are doing if children feel that much effort and hard work then they will start thinking that If my parents doing that much hard work even after study then how much will I have to work hard if I don't study. And if they are thinking that their children will understand this much only by talking with them then they forget about their childhood because when they were kids, they couldn't able to understand their parents before they grow up and get a job and then a family so how will their children understand them? If parents will understand this much then they can raise their children in that way then their children can at least live a normal life where they can live a happy life with their own family what more parents should expect their from there children.

And yes sometimes there children want to become something else about which parents never heard of or know about it but don't want that their children become it but their children want to become it then they should not stop them but they should say to them, "we don't know much about it but if you want to become it then you should go for it but remember we will not agree about it or help you in it until you can show how much efforts you can put in it in one year and after seeing it we will decide, we will help you or not" even after listening this much children will think, "I at least have a chance that my parents will accept this dream if I will work hard for it" and they will start doing hard work and then parents only have to observe their children that, "what my son or daughter is doing for their dream" and if they are doing things like putting all efforts for their dream in morning, evening or night and studying at the same time but in less amount that they can pass from school then they are focused on their work and if their work need money and they have started doing part time work for it then that means they have power to survive in this world for their dream but even after seeing it, parents doesn't agree then they don't deserve to call themselves parents.

But I still call you pathetic because even after knowing this much, you are not expressing your words to the world and keeping it inside yourself, did you listen pig bastard....oh! we reached your school!

Yes, you are right about this my illusion god that I am a pathetic guy because I made an illusion of god without a face and I don't know what to do in life.

I still remember it clearly, that when my father died then after some months when my mother was angry she said that it was your fault that your father died at that time, after listening that I cried so much and said to the god, why didn't you kill me and take my life and why didn't you leave father behind but there was not a single response from god, that bastard didn't say anything after some time I thought it was not my fault but every time mother got angered, she said the same thing that because of you and your words your father died so I also started thinking that it was my fault but I hold it in and cry but after some time I started thinking that if I will stay here then I will become a problem for them so I think I will become rich and after taking care of my family's needs I will leave them but because of my wrong decisions which I doesn't want to become and countless useless thoughts because of what mother said, my mind messed up and I only wasted my mother's money and my time, and now I am in this condition that I am seeing and talking to illusion of god but I can't also blame my mother about it because she always cares about me and after saying those words she always buy or make something to cheer me up, I can only blame myself because of mother's words I got frustrated and then angry, and have endless useless thoughts which can only make a mess of my mind...Oh, we should not stand outside and go inside the school right god?

....yes, you are right! So what are you going to do now fatty?

I will wait and see how my life will end because I don't have enough courage to kill myself and say anything to my mother and now if I say anything, only one thing happens: a conflict.

   (After one year) One year has passed and that pig bastard has become so lazy and careless because of his thoughts, sadness, and anger that he didn't prepare good for his exams and I don't know how bad will his result be but I can't do anything for him because I did everything which I could but his heart has fallen at that point that it can't be healed by myself.....

Hello! God of Emptiness.

Hello! Goddess of Wisdom.

.....What?? Goddess of Wisdom?! What are you doing here?! It's me who should ask that what are you doing at Earth, God of Emptiness?.... Ok, I will tell you first "Sound Dimension Barrier".

Now tell me what are you doing on earth God of Emptiness?!

I am playing the role of fake god.

A fake God? I don't understand it, can you tell me in more detail?

Ok, look at that boy,

Oh! That good looking child,

Good looking? Are you talking about him?

Yes,

He is a fat child who looks like a pig, how can you say him good looking?

You should attractively look at him then you can see a good child in him.

....whatever that child is the one on which I am looking for one and half years as an illusion of his mind, he has fallen that much in darkness that I can't able to change his thoughts about himself and the world around him by my words and I want to change it by words without helping him by giving luxurious things because those things will not be helpful for him in future and it will only cause problems in his future if I give him that kind of thing, but if I don't help him now then there will not be a future for him and I don't want him to die like that and think in the end time of his life that it was good to walk on the path of pathetic so can you help me in it, God Of Wisdom,

Let me think about it......ok I will help you I have an idea but I can't say that it will perfectly change him into a new person and I don't even know if it will work or not but it's a long process so do you want to apply it or not?

Can you tell me about it?....

....let him fall in love with a girl, I think, it is the last option for us but it can also backfire on him if that girl leaves him so what do you think about it God of emptiness?!

...I don't know. But whatever will be the consequence of it, let's do it, but what about the girl where should I find her? You don't have to worry about it, I already have a girl in mind that will fit him.

(After one week),Now, he has a girl, will this thing change what he is doing now? You should wait for some time.

(After one month) I want to become something my illusion god so I will work hard for it, I will also do study but in less amount. I think I can change something inside me, god, of course, it is not my anger god, but I want to become it because I like it god, and after I will build a house for my family and then I will leave them because there will nothing good come in staying with an angry person like me and I also want, that girl lives a happy life, see you my illusion god I am going to do hard work. I don't know whether I will become it or not but I will work hard towards it.

Did you see God of Emptiness! he only needs someone to stay by his side and help him.

Now, It only depends on him whether he will be successful in reaching his dream or not because we don't decide someone's future that what will he become, it will be decided on how much effort he will put into it and his relationship with the girl will also be decided by him and his nature.

It is true, we gods can't help people who are blinded by greed but we can help those people who need our help. We can't help those who can't help themselves but we can help those who want to get out of the darkness but can't able to find a way.

                                       THE END

February 10, 2022 07:12

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7 comments

Sushant Pandey
06:41 Feb 25, 2022

Thank everyone for liking and giving response on my story and sorry for late reply. It happened because I fell ill and I have some work to do. I will write a new story on next weekly prompt. Again thank you for giving your thoughts about my story and liking it.

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Elaine St. Anne
17:18 Feb 17, 2022

Good story. Keep writing. I believe all of us have been angry with God.

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Sushant Pandey
18:35 Feb 17, 2022

Thank you for your words, yes everyone have their complaints for Gods. But I think, god is tired now so he doesn't want to help others

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Sushant Pandey
02:39 Feb 17, 2022

Please after reading leave a comment that it is bad or good because it will help me in writing something good.

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Rebecca Stack
22:07 Feb 24, 2022

Love the summing up in the last paragraph and totally agree. Do you read back what you have written aloud to yourself and edit it before submitting? Think a good general rule to follow is if you can't read a sentence without running out of breath it needs to be shortened with more punctuation or split up into extra sentences. Enjoyed reading it on the whole. Keep writing. As they say practice makes perfect.

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Sushant Pandey
06:34 Feb 25, 2022

Thank you for telling me and sorry for late reply because I was ill and I had to do some work, I will work hard on my pronunciation and write it better, again thank you for giving me Idea.

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Rebecca Stack
19:29 Feb 27, 2022

No worries my pleasure. Sorry to hear you've been ill hope you feel better soon.

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