169 comments

Crime Mystery Suspense

Title: Who did it? (Part 1)

Authors: Haripriya and B


๏ปฟAuthors Note: Hello everyone! I hope you're all having a great Sunday! This story is a little different because it is a collaboration between me and B! To be honest, this is the first time I have ever planned out a story with someone else. Usually, all my stories are things I've done by myself, so this was an amazing experience! We (kind of) planned the plot of the story, the character and character's names, and just the entire layout of it, so if you enjoyed this story, you should go check out B's 2nd part of the same story! Honestly, it was B's idea of the story, and all I did was just write her plan. So, yeah, other than that, I hope you all enjoy our story!!ย 


"Detective Charlotte, we've got a murder case in our hands. We don't know who it is, but we're asking you to come to the murder site." one of my officers reported.

I quickly rushed out of my bed, folded my comforters, changed into my office clothes, put the pajamas into the washing machine, quickly sipped some coffee, and ate some cereal. I dashed out of the house but make sure I locked it, and then onto my car.ย 

"Officer, I'll be there at 10 pm sharp. Just stay right there, and I'll come over." I quickly replied sternly.

"Yes Officer Charlotte, we'll wait," he replied.

ย I heaved a big, tensed sigh, and called my best friend, Jackson.ย 

"Hey Jackson, something's not right," I told him.

"Umm...now's not the time Charlotte. I'm binge-watching all the Marvel movies." he gave a big excuse.

"Really? You're the one who said you wanted to be a big part in any of my investigations, now you're giving lies!"I questioned him.

"Fine, I'll be there," he replied.

โœฐโœฐโœฐ

After I reached the murder site, I saw a dead body, lying there. Almost flinching, I took a closer look at it. I first kind of squint to find any traces of paper, notes, or...just anything to help me figure out who murdered this man.ย 

Right at that time, Jackson arrived too.

"Hey, hey, hey! I arrived right on time!" he went on.

At first, I nodded my head in annoyance, but decided to ask him, "By any chance, do you have any ways we can find out who did this?"

"Well, I first suggest we take a closer look at the dead body. That way we can figure out if we know the man or not," he replied.

I did as he told, and was stunned.

"It...it's the chef from that fast-food restaurant! Poor old man! He was a nice chap!" I exclaimed in horror.

"Oh, him. Good riddance! He's that guy who never gave me any discounts! He was so grumpy, and bad, and just such a grinch!" he argued.

I slowly look at him, terrified.

"Why are youโ€”" he started to speak, but I just couldn't take it.

"It wasย you. You hated the good man! Look right now! You called him a grinch! I mean, how could you?" I argued.

"What?! How could you think it'sย me? Just because I never like the old fellow doesn't mean I'm a serial killer! Is this what all you detectives do? Just randomly accuse someone with absolutely no evidence, and no clues to any relationship about the real person who committed this?" he argued back.

I stared down, at the man, lying there. I first had nothing to say. He was right, but I just found my first suspect, unfortunately, his argument doesn't convince me. I'm pretty sure he knows something about this murder.

You see, the reason why I'm pretty sure he's the one who did this is that he hates the man a lot. When I say A LOT, I mean A LOT. Every conversation we ever had, he always used to bring the poor old man in it. Always talking terrible things about him, behind his back, just because he never accepts his late coupon! Plus, he has a habit of...well telling white lies. Most of the time, he lies to get out of trouble or doing any work.ย 

So, I do think that it is he who did this. But, as I normally do, I check for the man's wallet, or any notes, to confirm my suspicion.

"I'm leaving. I don't want to be here. You're just trying to frame me for something I never did Charlotte, and I thought better of you. You thought I would kill people. I thought...that you were my friend. But I guess, it's all over. You may still think I'm lying to you, and now I don't even care." he stormed off, very angrily.

He did look back, but instead of saying sorry, he murmured, (probably terrible things about me) and again walked off.

Not to lie, I did feel awful about myself. I didn't mean to accuse him, it's just that I had a strong feeling it was him. I've seen him many times, lying to a person in front of their faces, and the poor gullible people actually believing his lies. So I had just thought that it was kind of the same thing that happened here. Not that I want to purposely frame him for revenge, or things like that.ย 

"Hey, Jackson! Hey, come back! I...I'm sorry I...please, come back!!" I hollered, I even wailed my arms back and forth to get his attention, but he was too bad at me to even hear me.

Maybe I was a bit harsh on him, but still, the case has not been resolved yet. Who could the possible murderer ever be? I just have no possible suspect.

I look around the man to find any possible hints or clues about who might have it. He didn't even have a proper family, so it can't be any of them. I didn't know the man that well to know his enemies and friends. How was I ever going to solve this case?

~The End, for now....~


December 13, 2020 18:54

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169 comments

Hello everyone! I hope you're having a great Sunday and had a great week! I have a bunch of things to share about this story, so hold on tight! 1. This story is written by me and B. I wrote the first part, and if you want to read the second part of this, you'll have to go to her profile and read it. But she was the one who took the initiative to do this, and all I did was just write her idea and her vision of this story! 2. This is the first time I've ever written a story with another's help, or doing this writers collaboration, so t...

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B. W.
00:31 Dec 19, 2020

Check out "Loxie's arrival" and leave some feedback ^^

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Yellow Lemon
01:27 Dec 15, 2020

Hey! Good work on this story :) I'd be happy to collaborate with you for a story. Let me know what you think.

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Hello! Thank you so much! I would love to do this too! Maybe we could do it for the next set of prompts?

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Yellow Lemon
16:43 Dec 15, 2020

Yup! Sure! How can we discuss?

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You are always welcome to discuss in the comments. That's how me and someone else did in the latest story I uploaded. =)

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Yellow Lemon
17:23 Dec 15, 2020

Okay then. Looking forward!

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B. W.
19:21 Dec 14, 2020

I need someone to talk to

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B. W.
22:43 Dec 14, 2020

i dunno, do ya know any jokes?

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Ok. Q: Why did the gym close down? A: It just didn't WORK OUT!! XD

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B. W.
02:28 Dec 15, 2020

any other ones? that was great ^^

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Thanks!! Q: Why do bees have sticky hair? A: Because they use honeycombs! =D

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Ana Govindasamy
07:50 Dec 18, 2020

Ooh this is very intriguing! Part 2? also Iโ€™ve never done a collaboration story...maybe Iโ€™ll try one...

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Thank you! Part 2 is in B.W's account. Also, I would love to collab with you! :)

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Ana Govindasamy
14:26 Dec 18, 2020

:0

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Ana Govindasamy
14:27 Dec 18, 2020

Thanks, but I was thinking I could do it with Sahana...I have her number anyway

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Ana Govindasamy
10:27 Dec 19, 2020

Oh, sorry, I meant I might do a collab with someone else on Reedsy, because I have their phone number...sorry!

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Writer Maniac
14:36 Dec 16, 2020

Hey! I would love to know which stories of yours you would recommend to me to read, because you have so many :D I'll take your word for it!

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Hello there!! Honestly, the 3 stories I would reccommend (which are KIND of good) are: 1. Who did it (Part 1) Read Part 2 in B.W.'s story: It's not Him (Part 2) 2. The Star Bright AR It was one of those stories I really enjoyed writing 3. The Winning Coven The October prompts But, thanks for asking me! It means a lot! :)

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Writer Maniac
15:52 Dec 16, 2020

Cool! I'll be sure to check them out, thanks!

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Hi Haripriya!!! Been a bit busy this week but I never miss your stories(One of the first ones I read) And this was AMAZING!!! Great work:) Would love to work together on a prompt together! And congrads on top 10!!! I'm rooting for you! Great work:)

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Hello Varsha!! It's ok we ALL get a little busy sometimes, but I really appreciate that you always save time to check my story! Thank you so much! Your words are always being appreciated by me! Also, I would LOVE to collaborate with such an awesome person as yourself! Also, thank you so much for the wishes! Honestly, I would not even got any points if it weren't for such kind people in Reedsy as you! So, thanks for always being an amazing person! ๐Ÿค—โค๏ธ

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Aww, of course!!!! We can try to collaborate next week since I'm mainly free then:) and yes u deserve those points!

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Aman Fatima
08:33 Dec 20, 2020

this was so intriguing. Great job. I can't wait to read part 2

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B. W.
23:28 Dec 18, 2020

how are you?

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I'm doing good. Also, my break started! So I wrote a really long story, because I had a lot of free time today. =)

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B. W.
23:33 Dec 18, 2020

You like the prompts then?

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B. W.
23:34 Dec 18, 2020

I don't like them that much, and I still can't even continue any of my series at the moment

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Oh...=( But the prompt I did today was actually very interesting...really!

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Wirda Bibi
12:44 Dec 18, 2020

It is the best story and i went to read the second part the moment i finished this part. you guys worked hard and so keep up the best work.

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a nice, classic mystery. great job! ๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ‘Œ

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B. W.
01:45 Dec 17, 2020

Hey

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B. W.
03:12 Dec 17, 2020

its going fine, but im still kind of tired and bored

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I really liked it! I think itโ€™s cool that you did a collaboration with someone! I did think you could have slowed down the moment when she realizes who it is just a touch, but I loved the personality of the character :)

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Thank you so much Lucy! You're right, I should have slowed down a bit, but thank for spending the time to read and comment on my story! :)

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B. W.
02:06 Dec 15, 2020

I got another new story out ^^

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B. W.
19:12 Dec 13, 2020

I enjoyed the story and it gets a 10/10 :) I'll work on my part of the story real soon. I think the only problem with the story is that Charlotte IMMEDIATELY accuses Jackson straight off the bat, I know it says that Jackson never liked the old dude and some of the stuff he did, but I feel like it should have shown Charlotte doing a lot of other things while being a detective and then after she sees the clues and all that, she then thinks its jackson. Instead of it being her look at the old dude, remembering him and how Jackson felt about him...

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I guess, but I wanted you to also have a chance. Maybe you could include more backstories or something like that?

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B. W.
19:14 Dec 13, 2020

Have a chance with what though?

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B. W.
19:16 Dec 13, 2020

I'll start working on my part now

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Yay!! I'm excited! Also, I'm glad you liked it! This was my first time doing a thing like this, so yeah.

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Laxmi Sahani
17:34 Jun 16, 2021

The story is very quick to be honest and I still don't understand who is Jackson? Why was he present at an active crime scene? I have a lot of complaints to the story because I think you had a very nice idea going on here but the reason I didn't find it intriguing is that it lacks a lot of basic emotions. For example a detective wouldn't exclaim in horror upon seeing a dead body, They investigate lot of disgusting crime cases every single day. You should try watching a detective movie or series and come back to this story, you might underst...

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Julian Castro
23:23 Dec 21, 2020

Somebody read mines ๐Ÿ˜ญ

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. .
14:30 Dec 15, 2020

OMG YOU'RE IN THE TOP TEN!!!!!!!! TAKE A PIC QUICK!!!!!!!

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Thank you so much!! But, if it weren't for people as kind as you to help me reach there, I would have still not been in the leaderboard. So thank YOU for being such a nice person! =)

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. .
16:57 Dec 15, 2020

Awwwwwwww you're so sweet!!!!! You totally deserve it!!!!!!

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Really? Thank you so much! I also KNOW that one day, you'll also be the number #1 on the leader board, and I will be so glad for you!

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. .
17:06 Dec 15, 2020

OMG THANK YOU THAT MEANS SO MUCH!!!!!

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