Most Miserable 24 Hours

April 1st. The most miserable 24 hours a human being is forced to endure. 

I painstakingly forced my way from under my sheets landing harshly on the ground with a thud and a groan. The countdown has barely begun and already I'm on my face.

I have the worst luck on April 1st. I’m already a major clutz with horrible coordination. But in a family of pranksters, I am guaranteed to sport several bruises by the end of the day. 

And by pranksters, I mean literally. Our job is to pull pranks on people in an attempt to make them laugh. If you haven’t figure it out yet, we’re circus clowns.

Apparently, our some-odd great grandfather was a jester for King Henry the something, I never bothered to keep track. He was so good at his job, the king ordered him to teach his family. After that, it became the family business.

Even I'm a circus clown because of my clumsy nature.

This was further evidenced as I ran into my door forgetting to open it. You have to be kidding me. No one even has to help me pull pranks. I manage just fine myself!

Yanking the door open in frustration, I was greeted by a spray of water straight to the eyes. A few choice words may have escaped my mouth as I rubbed frantically so I can look my attacker straight in the eyes.

"Happy April Fools little sis," my older brother, Max, stated, grinning ear to ear.

In response, I made to lunge at him, but found myself once again face first on the floor.

I didn’t bother to move as my pride was aching from this humiliation. At last, I found the strength to glare up at my devil brother knowing full well he had sprayed the floor before I left my room.

He was laughing hysterically at my state.

I didn’t get the chance to reprimand him as we both heard, "Kids! Come downstairs for breakfast!" 

It was my dad called from the kitchen most likely.

I carefully rose to my feet. I did a little victory dance in my head for successfully rising to my feet and confidently marched to the stairs. Instead of a graceful decent however, I felt something wrap around my legs sending me soaring. I had great airtime till I landed in a heap at the bottom of the stairs.

I could hear laughter coming from somewhere to my right and knew my whole family had watched my attempt at flight.

With a grown, I struggled to untangle myself. Successful once again, I observed my surroundings carefully before making my way to the dining room table. This earned another roar of laughter from the peanut gallery.

"That was awesome!" my younger sister announced. I groaned.

"Totally! Here. Have some sugar for your French toast," my oldest brother offered, pushing the sugar bowl towards me.

I stacked a few pieces of toast, my favorite breakfast, on my plate before coating a good layer of butter and sugar on top.

Too tired to suspect anything I took a huge bite as my family watched in anticipation. I quickly spit the food out all over my dad as the salty flavor of salt pierced my tongue rather the savory sweetness of sugar.

Everyone laughed at both me and my dad's state of being partially chewed French toasted. 

Already in a miserable mood, I stormed up to my room, got ready, and headed out of the house to walk to school. There was no way I was riding with my family.

That was only the beginning. Just on my way to school alone our neighbor started yelling at me for making his kid sick when they were actually healthy, I was soaked by a car driving by, and was chased by some dogs when the owner forgot to lock the gate. Kids at school also pranked me with everything from clown masks in my desk, gum on my seat, my friend telling me it was her birthday when it wasn't, offering me brownies that may or may not have been made with mud, and

on and on. By the end of the day, I was bruised, irritated, tired, and ready to sleep.

I didn’t get the chance.

I got home and was greeted by the sight of my crush surrounded by my family sitting in the family room.

"Jake? What are you doing here?" I asked apprehensively.

"I came to ask your parents if I could take you out tonight," he replied

sweetly. He was so sweet. The only guy who never pranked me, never laughed when I did something clumsy, and loved hamsters like me.

But this must be a prank. He had never taken an interest in me like that before. I wasn’t super pretty, I most certainly wasn’t popular except for being a clutz, and we’d only talked in passing a couple of times. No, something was definitely wrong with this picture. I morphed my face into one of disbelief. He chuckled.

"It's true! All I want to do is spend the day with you."

Then things got weird. His face started to transform into this creepy clown face you’d only find in horror movies. He started moving slowly towards me as did my family. All of their faces were now identical to his.

I let out a scream and...

Rolled out of bed with a belly flop.

Startled, I frantically tried to take in my surroundings. I sighed in relief. It was just a dream.

I reached for my phone and pulled myself back in bed.

12:01, April 2, 2021.

I smiled.

I did it. I slept through April 1st. I slept through the most miserable 24 hours of the year.

Giddy with excitement, I jumped out of bed to use the restroom. I had faked sick on March 31, which granted me April 1 as a day to recuperate. I yanked on the handle of my door, recalling my dream and not wishing to repeat it.

Instead, I ended up on my backside as my hand slipped from the handle. I cursed silently at myself. I forgot I had locked my door to keep everyone out. I guess April 1 is every day for me.