The astounding Captain Radiance and the matter of the Super Goo

Captain Radiant hovered over the oak tree. A small calico kitten trembled, clinging to a branch, its round belly and back legs hanging in the air.The kitten looked mistrustful of the masked man.

The cat hissed when he plucked it up off the branch.The caped wonder landed back on the ground. He pried the cat’s small claws from his yellow glove. The cat made a low feline growl. Captain radiance handed the angry fur-ball to its owner.“Here he is, ma’am safe and sound, just like I promised,” he smiled down at the twelve-year-old pet owner.

She cradled the kitten, glaring at him like he’d pulled the cat’s tail or something. Smiling kindly and kneeling so he could look the child in the eye, he suggested she take better care when taking her kitten outside. She sighed, shifting the weight of the chunky kitten. “Oh please, you sound like my dad. I can take care of my cat by myself,” she said, cutting him off. She turned and walked back down the road, ignoring him.

Captain Radiance didn’t have the luxury of feeling annoyed with the spoiled child as a mob of terminally online soccer moms and their offspring gathered around him. A few of the younger ones squealed. Jumping around, shouting at no one in particular.“Yoo-hoo, Captain Rayon, I’m your biggest fan… please take a selfie with me,” one lady pleaded while holding up her phone.

“Please, Mr. Ray, can you sign my comics,” asked a little boy around 4 or 5 holding up a dog-eared Rodent Comics Captain Radiance special edition. Amused, Radiance signed the comic with a glittery crayon the child offered him.

“Say cheese”, said the woman from before. Wrapping a tan arm over his back, she pulled him down to her height. Taking his silence as his consent to having his picture taken. Pressing her face next to his, made eyes at her phone, then frowned.“Can’t you smile wider than that?”

Wanting to appease her, Radiance grinned as wide as his chiseled face would allow. A bright burst of light stung his retinas. He blinked away the spots as his ‘biggest fan’ walked away without another word to him, chatting excitedly with her friends.

A harsh alarm buzzed through the crowd. Captain Radiance held up a hand for silence. A few got the hint, but most continued talking. He took his radio off his belt. Cupping the device next to his ear to hear the message.“Blast it, captain, you were due back at HQ a full ten minutes ago. Where are you?” The radio grumbled in between the hiss of static. Radiance recognized the voice of General H. Daft. “I’ll be right there,” he rose in the air, clearing the trees and picked up enough speed that he caught several bugs on his chin before landing on the roof of HQ.The place was hidden in the musty basement of the rundown bookstore.

Daft chose it for two reasons. One the secret tunnels underneath the city started underneath the basement. Secondly and more important, the building was dirt cheap to purchase. 

He had been waiting for him on the roof perched perilously on a tiny footstool. Small white paper swans littered the roof by the stool.He was twisting a sheet of off-white paper violently into a bird’s neck. Radiance wondered how the paper stood up to the abuse. 

“You’re 14 minutes late!” he said, checking his watch.“My apologies, sir, a child asked for my help…” he trailed off. The look on the general’s face made it clear. No explanation would help him.

“What’s the crisis this time, sir?” Radiance changed the subject.“It’s Radical Labs. They suffered a break-in last night and The Candy Wrapper kid was spotted running away from the scene.”The candy wrapper kid! again? Captain interrupted Daft, quickly regretting it.“As I was saying, they discovered the kid before any actual damage was done. The head scientist, You know  Lazarus Hawthorne? He was on the National Blabbermouth last night, bragging about some medical breakthrough or something. Well, he’s been asking for you to see to this matter, so go catch that infernal cyber- bat, like now”!  

The Candy Wrapper Kid appeared a few weeks ago. A man-size bat, metal arms, and claws. The Kid had robbed a prominent grocery store. Ate late amounts of food and left wrappers everywhere.

Radical Labs was housed in one of the ugliest buildings Radiance had ever seen. The misshapen building stood on the corner of an otherwise unassuming street.It looked like what would happen if a psychopath got a hold of a kid’s toy building blocks. After circling the behemoth of a monstrosity a few times,he decided to walk through the front door to save his sanity.

All activity ceased the moment he entered the building. People in lab coats who carried  heavy canisters stood still, eyes wide. An intern,his face peppered with acne choked on his hot coffee. A receptionist, who sat in front of a white counter, raised one manicured eyebrow at Radiance’s appearance and without one word buzzed her boss.She motioned him to a door behind her desk. Radiance nodded  politely at her as he passed into the office.

Captain Radiance expected an expensively designed office, lots of self-portraits, and a hideous sculpture,  but the view that greeted him was different.Red Plastic cups, empty takeout cartons, and crumpled paper strewn across an old desk. Equations and diagrams were scribbled in chalk across black walls.The only luxury item to be found was the large aquarium that took up the only clear walll.

Hathorne, who was observing him from behind the mountains of clutter on his desk,stood, brushing his unruly hair out of his eyes. Radiance thought the man looked like the Mad Hatter on crack.Discarding the notepad in his hand, he jumped to his feet and pumped Captain Radiance's hand in an enthusiastic handshake.Once, Radiance pried himself from Hathorne's grip,the scientist explained his concerns about the threat the Candy Wrapper Kid posed to his current project.

Radiance comprehended almost none of the man's ramblings except something about a miracle formula and its ability to aid with stress. It sounded wonderful if true. He was always skeptical of the claims of dodgy scientists without evidence.

Hawthorne led him to the elevator and took him down to the scene of the break-in.The elevator doors open to an enormous room. Lit by fluorescent tubes that flicked. Empty aside from old tables and a few backing crates.The crates lay on their sides, ripped-open, styrofoam spilling onto the floor,damaged equipment littered the cement floor. 

“Why did the Kid come down here?” Captain Radiance mused aloud.Hathorne explained this was the level that he carried out sensitive experiments. The Kid must have wanted to steal his amazing discovery.He led Radiance to the far wall at the end of the room where there was a cracked observation-window,evidence of the Kid's attack.

Through the spider web of cracked glass, he saw standard scientific equipment and a metal safe in the middle of the room.“What’s that for?” he asked.“Oh that, the usual, toxic chemicals, radioactive isotopes,” Hawthorne shrugged, unconcerned.

He was sure the kid would be back to finish the job that night.He left the captain on guard. Captain Radiance sat on the cold floor behind one of the damaged boxes, in hopes of surprising the Candy Wrapper Kid.

Hours went by.The cold air settled in, a lost ant crawled across the floor, radiance only companion.Something on the edge of his senses bothered him and made him restless.

The clicking sound of nails on concrete alerted Radiance to the kids’ presence.A silhouette of fleshy wings and machine parts slid across the room.The Captain dove for the kid, knocking him off balance. Before he could recover and take flight, the captain grabbed a fist full of the robot bat’s fur.

“Radiance, blast you! Why must you always oppose my righteous purpose?” The kid hissed, seething in animalistic rage.Turning his head to one side, the kid bit the caped hero’s arm, causing Radiance to let go of the angry animal’s fur.Lunging at the window, the kid hit the damaged glass with his metal fist.A crunching sound ripped through the air followed by glass shards that erupted in every direction.

Radiance threw up his hands to shield his face from the stream of broken glass.Seeing his chance, the kid flew out of captain radiance’s reach through the now windowless room.The captain scrambled to his feet and through  the broken window, slipping on the shattered glass after his combatant.

The kid grabbed the wheel of the safe in his large mechanical claws and tore the door off the hinges.The sight of what was inside stopped Captain Radiance in his tracks.A pink gooey lifeform lay inside, a high pitch hum emanated from speakers built into the safe. The gooey creature writhed in pain, held in place by the sound waves.

The uneasy sensation he had felt for hours was stronger now,as if he were listening to a silent scream.“Great rockets! What is this?” Radiance exclaimed, bewildered by the sight before his eyes.“What’s this, captain? Why its the source of that blasted new drug, that’s what,” the kid snarled, in disgust.

“You hear that?” he gestured a metal claw toward the unnerving hum being broadcasted through the speakers.“Well, it causes them to produce a rare chemical. making their drug possible!” the kid explained.“How do you know this?” Radiance didn’t want to believe that anyone was capable of such cruelty.“How? How do I know this?” the kid laughed bitterly.

“because I escaped this very room weeks ago? They took me from my lovely jungle home and turned me into this!” the kid looked up into Radiance’s eyes, his own filled with sadness.

“Help me save it please, it’s my only friend”. Without a moment's hesitation Radiance smashed the speakers, freeing the gooey life form from its prison. Captain Radiant heard a metal click  behind him. Turning, he saw thirty something scientists were aiming guns at the Three of them.They were ordered to follow the scientists upstairs.

Radiant squashed his boiling rage, saving it for the one responsible for this offense.The elevator door slid open,the aimed scientist pushed them into Hawthorne’s office.Hawthorne regarded them coldly, shaking his head.“I asked so little of you. All you needed to do was to take care of my pest problem.But you couldn’t even do that, no you stuck your nose where it doesn’t belong,” he said, angry at the hero.“Not that it will matter,no one is going to care that vermin were used in the cause of science.They have no value,” he sneered at the kid, and Goo.

Captain Radiant wasn’t impressed with Hawthorne’s angry display. On the villain's monologue scale, he’d rate Hawthorne a three out of 10. The man lacked class, humanity, and style.

Hawthorne advanced on Radiance holding a pen and paper. “Sign this and you can leave,” he said with a nasty smile.Radiant took the paper from Hawthorne. He didn’t need to read the paper to know it was a confidentiality agreement.Looking the twisted scientist in the eye, he tore the paper into little bits, the threads of paper falling to the floor.“what? Do you think I’ll let you go, let you destroy all my work? “Hawthorn said, looking even more unhinged.

“What I think is that you’re a pathetic bully that’s going to jail for a long time,” Radiant said, looking at the clock.“What's the matter, Ray-man? Are you late to an appointment?” Hawthorne  scoffed “It’s not my appointment but yours with justice,” Radiance declared. 

At that moment, General Daft and a squadron of his men burst into the room, overcoming Hawthorne and his lackeys.Hawthorne screamed, enraged at being thwarted. The military escorted him kicking and screaming out of the office. 

Goo tilted a head-like lump in a questioning manner. Understanding its question, Radiance explained that he’d activated his emergency call button when the gun-toting scientist showed up.“What about it, kid, Goo? Will you join us in our fight? We could use the help.” Radiant invited them, “If it means stopping what’s happened to us to others, then yes,” the kid smiled. The Goo made a salute with its gelatinous hand.